Oh my my my What a life I lead.............. It's been so long since I last logged onto minti and for so many reasons.. but I find Minti again to talk about what I've been facing lately and hopefully deal with it all yet again........ Thanks again Minti!! ......................................................................................................................................................................................Brad and I are finally after all these years engaged!!!!! I've only waited 5 yrs!!!!!! Now we've just recently returned from a trip to Adelaide and Melbourne, our first holiday in 8 yrs to finally see my mum. Brad met her for the first time and she finally got to see our little boy, her first Grandson!!! It was an absolutely wonderful trip and I didn't let Brad's terrible mood spoil it for me............................... While we were there he had an episode and threatened that he would commit suicide, was an extremely difficut and tense night but I helped him get through it..................... Man, what he puts me through!!! He did it again Saturday night, just past..................... I really don't know where to begin in telling that story but lets jut say I had to get the ambulance here that night, he was so bad. Finally he's come to understand, yet again that he needs help ............................................................... It's beyond him. On top of all the dramas that go on between Brad and I, I've had to cope on my own with the thought that I may have cancer. I'm going to have a lump cut out in a month, out of my breast, and i'm just staying positive that all will be ok... It's all going to be alright in the end........................

I've just got to write and say how proud I am of Brad. On Wednesday last week he started a new job, making bathrrom fittings. I'm so excited for him. We've both been doing it pretty tough for a while now as the studio hasn't been doing much recording for some time now. I'm simply rapped that we don't have to be so stressed about money anymore....... it's a huge weight off my shoulders. I went and lay-byed all of Nick's Chrissy and Birthday pressies and have been able to clear all of our bills. Yesterday we had a briliant day. We went out to Nelson Bay in the morning and Brad took Nick on the toboggan ride then we went and had a BBQ sausage lunch on the beach. Today we went to the museum and Nick had a lot of fun running around playing with all the science toys in the Supernova exhibition. Now that Brad's working again we're going to be able to get out more on the weekends and I know Brad will be happier to get out and make the most of our time together as a family. Really, life if feeling so great at the moment and I feel so lucky to be me!! heheh life's not always like this but I'm going to appreciate it for what it is!

Yes, yesterday was my birthday! I turned 28 and still have to pinch myself to believe i'm 28 NOT 22. Hmmm just a little wishful eh? I had fantastic day. All my friends came over for a BBQ lunch and our kids played in the backyard. I'd have to say it was the best birthday in a long time and I'm happier than ever. Nicholaus is getting bigger and more beautiful day by day, he plays with all his little friends and his laughter is absolutely infectious. He's gorgeous and I feel sooooo lucky! Besides that I got thoroughly spoilt with loads of pressies... yay for me!! And thankyou Cristlyn for the awesome book! You're such a beautiful friend and i'm lucky to have you!

Yes, it has indeed been a happy mother's day. We all had a nice day and I was spoiled with a beautiful handmade picture that has a garden on flowers, leaves, twigs and grass stuck on..... sooooo cute!!!! and a special tile with Nick's hand print, something to keep for ever and ever! Nick also went shopping with daddy the other day and picked out some lollies and pink jammies with love hearts all over them, I felt so lucky and was nicely surprised when I got them this morning - pretty astounded that Nick walked around and picked them up and put them in his basket...... must've been so adorable to see... little 16 month old bub walking around the shop and choosing pressies for me hehehhe, (under the close eye of Brad of course).

We went for a drive in the country- rolling hills, cows grazing, horses just standing there...- and found a nice spot by the river at Clarence Town and had a BBQ, not too shabby for Hayley!! quite nice actually!

I hope everyone else had a lovely day today and got thoroughly spoiled, I know it must be a bit hard on single mum's especially of little bub's who can't say happy mother's day and I love you.... so I'm sending out a special happy mothers' day wish to all the mum's who for any reason didn't get the attention they deserve today. Truly all mum's are special and you are too!!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE!!!
's Hayley xx