Oh my my my What a life I lead.............. It's been so long since I last logged onto minti and for so many reasons.. but I find Minti again to talk about what I've been facing lately and hopefully deal with it all yet again........ Thanks again Minti!! ......................................................................................................................................................................................Brad and I are finally after all these years engaged!!!!! I've only waited 5 yrs!!!!!! Now we've just recently returned from a trip to Adelaide and Melbourne, our first holiday in 8 yrs to finally see my mum. Brad met her for the first time and she finally got to see our little boy, her first Grandson!!! It was an absolutely wonderful trip and I didn't let Brad's terrible mood spoil it for me............................... While we were there he had an episode and threatened that he would commit suicide, was an extremely difficut and tense night but I helped him get through it..................... Man, what he puts me through!!! He did it again Saturday night, just past..................... I really don't know where to begin in telling that story but lets jut say I had to get the ambulance here that night, he was so bad. Finally he's come to understand, yet again that he needs help ............................................................... It's beyond him. On top of all the dramas that go on between Brad and I, I've had to cope on my own with the thought that I may have cancer. I'm going to have a lump cut out in a month, out of my breast, and i'm just staying positive that all will be ok... It's all going to be alright in the end........................

I've just got to write and say how proud I am of Brad. On Wednesday last week he started a new job, making bathrrom fittings. I'm so excited for him. We've both been doing it pretty tough for a while now as the studio hasn't been doing much recording for some time now. I'm simply rapped that we don't have to be so stressed about money anymore....... it's a huge weight off my shoulders. I went and lay-byed all of Nick's Chrissy and Birthday pressies and have been able to clear all of our bills. Yesterday we had a briliant day. We went out to Nelson Bay in the morning and Brad took Nick on the toboggan ride then we went and had a BBQ sausage lunch on the beach. Today we went to the museum and Nick had a lot of fun running around playing with all the science toys in the Supernova exhibition. Now that Brad's working again we're going to be able to get out more on the weekends and I know Brad will be happier to get out and make the most of our time together as a family. Really, life if feeling so great at the moment and I feel so lucky to be me!! heheh life's not always like this but I'm going to appreciate it for what it is!

Yes, yesterday was my birthday! I turned 28 and still have to pinch myself to believe i'm 28 NOT 22. Hmmm just a little wishful eh? I had fantastic day. All my friends came over for a BBQ lunch and our kids played in the backyard. I'd have to say it was the best birthday in a long time and I'm happier than ever. Nicholaus is getting bigger and more beautiful day by day, he plays with all his little friends and his laughter is absolutely infectious. He's gorgeous and I feel sooooo lucky! Besides that I got thoroughly spoilt with loads of pressies... yay for me!! And thankyou Cristlyn for the awesome book! You're such a beautiful friend and i'm lucky to have you!

Yes, it has indeed been a happy mother's day. We all had a nice day and I was spoiled with a beautiful handmade picture that has a garden on flowers, leaves, twigs and grass stuck on..... sooooo cute!!!! and a special tile with Nick's hand print, something to keep for ever and ever! Nick also went shopping with daddy the other day and picked out some lollies and pink jammies with love hearts all over them, I felt so lucky and was nicely surprised when I got them this morning - pretty astounded that Nick walked around and picked them up and put them in his basket...... must've been so adorable to see... little 16 month old bub walking around the shop and choosing pressies for me hehehhe, (under the close eye of Brad of course).

We went for a drive in the country- rolling hills, cows grazing, horses just standing there...- and found a nice spot by the river at Clarence Town and had a BBQ, not too shabby for Hayley!! quite nice actually!

I hope everyone else had a lovely day today and got thoroughly spoiled, I know it must be a bit hard on single mum's especially of little bub's who can't say happy mother's day and I love you.... so I'm sending out a special happy mothers' day wish to all the mum's who for any reason didn't get the attention they deserve today. Truly all mum's are special and you are too!!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE!!!
's Hayley xx

This is a huge tribute to my cherished minti friend, Cristlyn. i know that many of you have been touched by her kindness and beautiful friendship. She is such an amazing person and at the moment she is going through probably one of the most traumatic times of her life......... and it should have been so happy. I feel for her soooo much.............

Her hard times have been going for so long already with her little guy born with low muscle tone, and continuing to need treatments but she has always remained positive despite everything she's gone through. She was so excited about having Arianna and this should been the happiest time for her. Her nightmare started on Monday night, with horrible pains and Ari was only 35 weeks.

She's had such a rough time with the placenta completely detaching and massive heamorrage which meant she needed an emergency caesar. She needed blood transfusions and has been extremely exhausted because her blood count is still low so she''s needed to have more transfusions today. I spoke to her tonight and she's sounding a little better. i'm just trying to be there for her as much as I can under the circumstances and only wish I lived closer by to help out more with Kadi and Tahlia. And on top of all that Kadi has his op in two weeks so I just cannot believe all that she's going through. She's such a tough cookie!!!

I'm helping her stay positive about everything, she's in the best place and the doctors and nurses are doing a fantastic job looking after her and Arianna. Bub's beautiful, fit and healthy, and all is great with her so no need to worry there. Cristlyn will get better but it's just going to take some time and a great deal of rest, but I know when she comes home from hospital she's going to need plenty of support.

I just hope that I can do as much as I can but i know I'm only one person. And I know she'd do the same for anyone else. She is such an amazing person and does not deserve all this.

Yay!! Today Nicky grabbed out his blocks and started stacking them all on his own! I was so impressed. We haven't played that game in sooo long so I was surprised to see him stacking them five high and knocking them down again. Wow, I know it's probably not much to anyone else but I was pretty chuffed. This is the first time he's done this so I was amazed with how steady his hands were... what a kid!

I really don't have anything to complain about, as all my life's trivial problems have been put into perspective for me yet again. My close friend has had the most horrific week. When I called on Monday, her hubby informed me she was in hospital with appendicitis and due for surgery that day. Then yesterday on her way home from hospital she's pulled into her street to find fire trucks and fearing the worst (that it was her place) was horrified to realise that it was indeed her house on fire. Her kitchen was burnt and the whole house reeked from smoke. Her in-laws were there with her so they're all packed up and off to their house until repairs are done, and she's just extremely thankful that all of them are safe and ok. She didn't care about the damage just as long as her baby was fine - she told me when she saw bub in hubby's arms as they pulled up the drive nothing else mattered, and isn't that so true?

Nick had his Easter party at playgroup today. We had heaps of fun. He ran around with all the little kiddies, and helped himself to party food. It was so cute, and the first thing he grabbed was one of the iced mini muffins I'd made. He scoffed into that and then helped himself to a chocolate crackle. I can't believe it! My little guy is growing up!!

After playing with the toys and eating party food, there was an Easter egg hunt and all the little kiddies raced around with their baskets finding easter eggs. It was over all too quickly, and considering the number of little eggs out there, those kids did move quick. Hopefully it takes Nick just a little longer on Easter morning, so we can enjoy the fun of the search. Unfortunately we didn't have a parade as such, but the kids all put on their hats to sit down and eat their eggs. I got a few photos but was a bit disappointed that I couldn't grab his attention to get a good shot of him looking at me. Oh well, plenty of Easters ahead to get a better one, but the ones I took aren't too bad.


"Hi Mummy, I found some eggs!!!"



"Mmmm, these eggs are yummy. Cool! There's some on my hat too!!"



Nicky looking absolutely adorable in his Easter hat

I did something right!! This last week has been extremely stressful and the saving grace has been the way I've handled the whole business, calmly and with an amazing amount of self control. Last Wedneday I went shopping and had a bit of a splurge buying several things for Nick and even a couple of things for myself. Afterward I filled the car with petrol then did my week's grocery shopping. I was mortified when the checkout operator told me my card was declined. I called the bank who confirmed I had NO MONEY!! I tried to collect my thoughts and establish where the money had been spent as the purchases made that day had been paid for by cash and I hadn't used my card for all of the previous week. Since this whole thing happened I've remained calm and collected. I returned the things I bought and so had money for groceries. This meant I had enough for food for the whole week, but no treats or snacks - just the bare essentials. I was extremely lucky to find a tax refund check from last year for $30 so I cashed that today and was able to buy some more fresh bread, blessed be! I think that the reason why I've got through this the way I have is because I just remained calm and accepted that this is life and we all go trough struggles sometimes, but it will get better. No matter what life throws at you, I've learned you just have to 'roll with the punches'. i feel that in realising this I've done something right for me and my family. We'll get by, and in the future we'll live comfortably again!

We love our Auntie Mia!!



Nicky pointing at the birds, "Up there, Dad! Up there"



Nicky's first pair of big boy shoes "Thanks Mum!"