I did something right!! This last week has been extremely stressful and the saving grace has been the way I've handled the whole business, calmly and with an amazing amount of self control. Last Wedneday I went shopping and had a bit of a splurge buying several things for Nick and even a couple of things for myself. Afterward I filled the car with petrol then did my week's grocery shopping. I was mortified when the checkout operator told me my card was declined. I called the bank who confirmed I had NO MONEY!! I tried to collect my thoughts and establish where the money had been spent as the purchases made that day had been paid for by cash and I hadn't used my card for all of the previous week. Since this whole thing happened I've remained calm and collected. I returned the things I bought and so had money for groceries. This meant I had enough for food for the whole week, but no treats or snacks - just the bare essentials. I was extremely lucky to find a tax refund check from last year for $30 so I cashed that today and was able to buy some more fresh bread, blessed be! I think that the reason why I've got through this the way I have is because I just remained calm and accepted that this is life and we all go trough struggles sometimes, but it will get better. No matter what life throws at you, I've learned you just have to 'roll with the punches'. i feel that in realising this I've done something right for me and my family. We'll get by, and in the future we'll live comfortably again!

We love our Auntie Mia!!



Nicky pointing at the birds, "Up there, Dad! Up there"



Nicky's first pair of big boy shoes "Thanks Mum!"

OMG I can't believe it! This week has flown by. I've been so busy lately with Nick not going to bed until at least 8:30, I haven't had any time to spare. And then Brad's on the computer once Nick's down so no chance for Minti....... (tear).....

Little guy's still a bit sick as he's got a cough now and is still a bit congested. He wants two milk drinks before bedding down and plays and stories in between. The bedtime routine is getting out of hand!! I'm starting to think he's just talking me into keeping him up later and I'm letting him. He has been teething though, so that might have something to do with it. Overall he's still pretty chirpy and playful even if he is a little sick, so I'm not too concerned.

This week has been horrendous, but there has been some high points so it's not a complete write-off! My sister's home from Lismore for four days so that's great. We spent the day together and had a great time out at the shops shopping (I could only window shop but did get groceries, which is actually great considering what happened yesterday!!!!). I'm on my own tonight though because Brad's at the Mars Volta and Mia's gone to see her friend in town...... (tear).... oh well

Yesterday started out great! I had a lovely day at home in the morning with Nicholaus. After his nap we went shopping and I bought him a beautiful new pair of shoes. They're adorable!!! I also bought some other things for him along with a Hi-5 DVD. Basically, I had a decent amount of cash left over from last week's budget because I didn't go anywhere all week. So I had a splurge and it felt great! I even bought myself a new cleanser and moisturiser and mind you I needed it. I haven't bought cleanser or moisturiser for 2 years!!!!!! I've been using sorbolene creme as a cheap cleanser and moisturiser!!! It's been good but I felt like a treat because I've been feeling like I neglect myself a bit. Anyway, afterward I filled up with petrol, no worries and then went and bought the next weeks' groceries. I tried to pay with my card, which mind you I haven't used since before I was paid last week and as such could've rightly assumed I had all the money I needed for the next week. It declined!!!!! I was so upset and angry and confused and embarrassed. The supermarket was so busy and I tried not to make a scene because I needed to call my bank but my mobile was flat so I had to use their phone. When my bank confirmed it, I had to apologise to the checkout operator and leave with my head bowed. It was so horrific!!! To think we had noooooo money. I've never had this situation before and I couldn't understand how it could happen. Naturally I put 2 and 2 together and came up with 5. Brad had my card all week so I straight away suspected he'd spent all our grocery money, mind you he's been very frivolous in the past...... I came home absolutely furious and extremely agitated as I tried to confront him. Considering he didn't spend the money he was right to be upset and we sorted it out after a bit of a row. I had to take everything back today, all except Nick's gorgeous little shoes, so I could go buy groceries. It was a bit upsetting but I swallowed my pride and just did what I had to. I don't know when I'll be able to bring myself to treat myself to something ever again now - I never do, and when I did look what happened. I can't even spend $20 on myself. I think it's time I went back to teaching..........

Didn't mean to imply we were happy about Nick's toe... far from it!! This was when it started to get a bit better. He was sooo good about it.........what a kid eh?

Nicky's sore toe. Aaaaw what a trooper!!



Moving Day... all packed and ready to move. Yay!!!



Nick with his new Wiggles bag. I didn't really expect he'd wear it, thought it would be a bit big but was surprised by how well he can carry it!!! heheheh So cute!!!



Nick in his cute new Pooh jammy jams. He loves them and I think he looks absolutely adorable!



What a gorgeous smile!! Lovin' bath time

Poor little Nick's getting a cold. We went to our group yesterday and there was a little boy there who had a cold. He was sneezing and had a runny nose and his mum apologised but I'm a bit peeved. Now Nick's got a sore throat and is having trouble getting to sleep. He let me rock him in the rocking chair tonight though so that was alright. I had to give him some Dimetapp drops for the runny nose and sneezes before I first tried to put him down but when he cried when I put him in his cot I knew it was something more upsetting him. Checked his temp and that was okay so thought he might have a bit of a sore throat beacause of the way he was swallowing. I gave him some panadol for that and another breastfeed and rocked him until he fell asleep and he seemed to like that. Poor little darlin'. I really don't like seeing my little guy sick!! I hope it doesn't last too long but he's pretty good and doesn't usually let a cold phase him too much. Never mind, it's building his immunity to get sick every now and again and I'm so glad it doesn't happen too often!

Nick's only just over a year old and he's starting to really surprise me, he is showing me that he's understanding what I say. Up until now I believe we've always communicated pretty well as I've always responded quickly to his cries and especially over the last 7 months I've known what he wants and when. I feel that reading him has been a skill that I've learned over time as, many mums will say, it takes time, and mother's instinct doesn't necessarily kick in straight away.

The last couple of days Nicky has started showing me that he can understand ME and this is such an exciting time for me. I know he understood me before when I asked him 'Would Nicky like some water?' or 'Nicky want the boo?' which is my way of asking him if he would like a breast feed. He would respond with a bit of a half cry that everyone thought was really cute and then he'd get his drink. Mind you, I didn't offer the 'boo' in public. That's our private thing. Hope no-one's offended - in my opinion it's the same as anyone else asking if their bub would like a 'bot-bot'.

Anyway, little man has been astounding me over the last couple of days by pointing at things, which he's been doing for a little while now, but the other day he said 'at' which is his word for 'hat'. He was pointing at his hat and motioning for me to get it for him. I was so proud!!! Aside from 'dad' and in the past 'mummum', this is his first word. He loves walking around the house with his hats, he has plenty of them, so I can see why he's learned the word hat.

Yesterday, for the first time he started following my verbal instructions....... whoops now I think of it it's not the first time. I've been asking him to do things for a long time now and he's understood me since he was 6 months. We've always read loads of stories together and he learned to turn the page on my cue way back then - I would say 'Nicky turn the page?' in a questioning would you like to? tone. So with this in mind and also remembering that I can say 'Nicky close the door' of a door I don't want him opening and passing through, or a drawer I don't want him opening; he follows directions then, too. My goodness, this kid is smart..... either that or I'm teaching him something. No matter what, it's all good, he makes me so proud!!!!!

It's only in the last couple of days that I've probably noticed this because lately he's really interacting with me on a whole new level. He's pointing at everything and smiling and laughing and, in general looking at me with love and a twinkle in his eyes that makes my heart melt. I'm absolutely wrapped with this kid and he means the world to me! Tonight, while we were playing in his room before bed, he climbed into his green blow-up racing car on his own and looked back at me so proud. I think he was also pretty impressed with his new Winnie the Pooh jammy jams heheheh so cute!! He grabbed his life size Garfield and started patting him and cuddling him the way he does the cat and I said kiss Garfield and he gave him a huge open mouth kiss. Again this is the first time he's done this and I can't believe it. This little cutie pie is going to never stop amazing me and I'm looking forward to everything we have in store. This is only the beginning.

I wonder if anyone else can remember when they first realised their children were understanding them and communicating back. It's soo much fun when kids start interacting with you.

PS Oops I was just proof reading this and I don't know what people thought when I wrote about Nick and our cat. He DOES NOT kiss the cat!!! hehhe I'm always telling Nicky to be gentle with the cat. Though he has been know to try to jump on the cat's back and ride him like a horse on occasion, and when he does I always say "no" and get him to pat Puddha gently - then I have a little giggle to myself. Poor Puddhas, he loves Nick too!!

The other day we had finally finished all the moving and cleaning and handed the keys back - all was done!! So when we got home I was exhausted, and started falling asleep where I sat. I asked Brad to watch Nick so I could go lay down. Shortly later I woke as Nick screamed out in pain and Brad was swearing. My poor little bub had dropped a hand weight on his toe, it was bleeding and starting to swell up really bad, we were sure it must've been broken. We rushed him to the hospital, where they did X-rays and found that it had a little fracture but nothing too serious. Because Nick was still crying in so much pain, the dr drilled a hole through his toe-nail to relieve the pressure. Nicky had to have the laughing gas and he was so precious looking up at me and giggling. He's so brave! Little man wasn't allowed to walk all day yesterday, but he's allowed to today. He's not showing any signs of pain, but it's still bleeding, which I'm a bit worried about. I'll take him to the GP in the next couple of days to see how well it's healing. It still looks pretty bad and has to stay bandaged but we had to change the dressing yesterday because the bandage came undone. OOOh my poor little guy. Wish it was me and not him!!!

Needless to say I'm not taking my eye off him for a second!!

I can't believe it's taken us this long to move out of our unit. We've been blessed to be living in Brad's parents beautiful home for the past three months and so have really taken our time moving out of our old place. I just didn't know how to contemplate it given that Nicky started walking in January and is into everything. I felt so anxious that he might get hurt or play with something dangerous. So I found myself avoiding the place. Finally I've done it. I took a leaf out of Nikky's book (jmrmumstheword) and got going. I couldn't believe how easy it was once I just got up and did it and stopped putting it off. We put Nick in his portacot whenever we needed him to stay put and we just ensured that anything dangerous was always out of reach. He kept himself amused for the most part and played with his toys or anything laying around for him - the vacuum cleaner, pegs, water bottles, anything. He was wonderful. We've been hard at it cleaning and this afternoon when I was vacuuming the skirting boards, he climbed on my back and started trying to wrestle me. He was having so much fun. And me too! I've never had so much fun cleaning before! And to think I was dreading it so much. Nicky's easy attitude and excellent behaviour made the job so much easier. It makes me feel so blessed to have such an amazing little boy. He really is gorgeous.

Love you my little cherub, good night precious!!
's mummum xxxxxx