Hello all! I haven't been around much for a while now. I haven't stopped thinking about you all, just been super busy, including playing hostess to a couple sets of guests.

First my mom and younger sisters came up here - rather not talk about it, then my lovely sister-in-law and niece stayed with us for 2 weeks. We just said goodbye yesterday and the atmosphere around here is quite subdued - the dog included. We had a really great time, except for when the two older cousins were trying their best to argue and annoy. Things seem so quite and empty around here now. It's going to take an adjustment to get back to the way things were.

It was awesome to get to know my SIL, or exquisite flower, as some of you know her, better. This is the most time we have been able to spend together in one consistent time and it left me knowing that I am indeed blessed to have the family I have. This was also the first time she was able to meet my youngest - outside my belly - and I believe they both left a lasting, good impression on each other. It is my hearts desire that it just won't be another handful of years before we see each other face-to-face again. 

Cheers to all!

Signing off.

-Philosopher13

 Hello Mintiland! I had a doctors appointment yesterday and it seems to be official, there is yet another bundle of love on it's way.  And get this, they are due September 29th. My oldest b-day is Sept. 22nd, our wedding anniversary is Oct. 4th, my birthday is Oct. 9th and my soon-not-to-be-the-youngest-anymore's b-day is Oct. 10th. LOL!

 We did have a little bit of a scare today.... I got a really bad migraine and was throwing up and retching for a while, along with the head splitting and fatigue. I layed down while the boys napped, but when I went to the bathroom later and wiped there was a bit of bloody stuff. I was really freaked out, but when I called the doctor she told me to just keep an eye on it and as long as it was only when I wiped and not gushing or cramping I should be ok. She called and checked on me a couple hours later which did make me feel good about her (new doctor), and she assured me that this happened sometimes. I tried to take it as easy as I could until my husband got home and when we checked later it was almost all gone. 

 Mike and I are so thrilled about this new addition! Although, we are pretty sure this is the last and finally child - unless we adopt. After my recent surgery and some other problems since my first pregnancy, I just don't think my body would be able to handle anymore without leaving me in nasty shape. So... the next order of business around here, after the baby, is first a vasectomy, then a breast reduction/lift. LOL!

Signing Off.

-Chelle

We took Solomon to his first karate class today. Of course, we come on the day that nooo other kids show up. We ended up spending 40 minutes of a 45 minute class getting him more comfortable with the teacher and stuff. Good thing this month is free! LOL!

Samuel also had his "first" full day of potty training today and did excellent. He did poop on the potty TWICE! We tried a few months back, but he wasn't ready yet. He certainly appears ready now. 

It seems hard to believe but Mike didn't really get a chance to put the wonderful Tike that the boys beautiful auntie got them until Monday. Solomon loves it, (Sam is still too small), and calls it his "motorcycle". Hopefully the link I added will work and you can see a picture of him on it.

As for me, well I have officially applied for a volunteer job with an organization called Play Rugby USA. They are primarily focused on spreading the sport of rugby across America to help the country become more competitive on an international scale. They mostly specifically focus on bringing rugby to schools. It's a great cause, and they have done a lot of good in some New York inner city schools. Kids lives have been changed with the introduction of the sport and the principles it teaches. For those interested you can find out more at playrugbyusa.com.

Because a lot of the work takes place in schools, background checks are required. The guy I spoke with also asked me for a resume - CV to some of you, so I very anxiously typed one up and passed it on. I felt silly trying so hard for a volunteer job, but it's been 3 years since I had a "proper" job, and longer then that since I've had to write a resume. I want to do well and present myself well no matter what the job.

Well that does it for now.

Signing Off.

-Chelle

 ...been busy with the holidays and getting settled in around here. Don't worry though. All my Minti friends have not left my heart or my mind.

 As this time of year does, but more so this year then usual, being back home and all, my mind has been plagued with tough questions and answers. Where am I? Where am I going? Where have I been? How did I get where I am? And that always fun - "What if?" But enough of that for now. I am not ready to really put it all out on the table yet.

 Now on to more pleasant matters.... Christmas was delightful - both of them. LOL! The first Christmas was at my aunt house in Brooklyn. (There are 5 sisters on my mom's side, 4 in New York, so every year they rotate Christmas.) The whole presents thing was a bit chaotic and overwhelming. The boys made out like bandits! Mike got to be Santa's helper for the first time - yet another duty, along with Santa, that gets passed through the family. The boys got along great with their cousins, and of course, I with mine. It was a fun time of food and fellowship and with bouts of all out goofiness. We even sang the 12 days of Christmas, with each of us pairing off and singing our parts in order. Everything I missed about past Christmases from my childhood - before we left New York.

 The second Christmas was in Long Island at my other aunts house, two days after Christmas. One of my cousins is going through a separation/divorce and his kids weren't able to have Christmas with us originally, so we had another Christmas for them. Keep in mind that I have a BIG family and for each Christmas, everyone showed up. Well, I take that back. My grandmother who has pneumonia right now, was too tired to make it, so one of my aunts stayed with her. Saturday I think was even more enjoyable without all the chaos of gift exchange. For the first time I was able to really get to know one of my uncles and just really relax and spend time with everyone. I know there will probably be times where I will be on Minti complaining about the same family, but in general, I look at what they have here and I can't comprehend how my life was so different from this. My family here is far from perfect, but they are so full of love. And everyone of us, sincerely loves to be around each other. We have so much fun together. Even the in-laws. And extended family? My aunts ex-husband and his family regularly attend functions at her place. Her roommate and old family friend, brought a big truck with for the sole purpose of driving my cousins around, to and fro, university and home. I cannot say enough about how wonderful they are...

 Well, that's it for now. Time for me to start folding laundry. Funny, putting it off never seems to get it done. LOL.

 Signing off.

 -Chelle

 ... to be bothered by your parents fighting.

 I was on the phone with my mom when she accidently knocked over a box with her foot. Apparently the box was full of screws and nuts that my dad had just sorted or something. He immediately started screaming at her, asked her what was wrong with her, then demanded that she pick up every last one of them, "NOW! No, I mean right NOW!", as if she were a child. She tried to laugh it off and told him it was his fault for leaving it out on the floor. And she does have a point especially seeing how she is severely legally blind. I heard the discomfort in my mom's bravado as she stood up to him. I wanted to get off the phone as they kept going on, but I felt like she needed me to stay on for her sake. Seriously, his voice - it was so angry. I was almost worried that he was going to start hitting her, the way he sounded. It really hurts to see and hear that going on. And this is the man who accused my husband of not being secure in his manhood because he stood up for himself and his family to my parents. My husband has never once talked to me like that and if he did, that would be the last time.

 My little, youngest sister was there. She is only 14. Her and my other younger sister who is 17, still live with my parents. And it scares me for them. The older of the two is going to college close by to watch out for our youngest sister. Urrr, my family is so dysfunctional but they still try and pretend like everything is ok. The go to church, pray to God and act like they have all their ducks in a row. My dad used to say, "Well, at least I don't come home, get drunk and beat you." Well, gee thanks dad. I kind of wish you did drink because at least that would give some kind of explanation to your behavior. He never really "beat" us per se, but he was very loose with his hands, and belt, and whatever other object he could get his hands on if he felt disrespected somehow.

 I'm scared for my family because I see my mother driving herself crazy with worry about her body and mind. She is watching her mother-in-law go in and out of the looney bin, driven there by my grandfather's years of verbal and mental and emotional abuse. My mom is going through menopause, but it's not just that. She is driven by fear and insecurity and jealously. It would take pages and pages to really describe everything going on.... I honestly think part of the reason they are so controlling and sheltering of my little sisters is because they are afraid of what is going to happen once my sisters leave. I know I am. But that is the bed they made for themselves and it is not fair to force the rest of us to deal with the shit -hole they have created.

 Can I just vent some more? The man apparently "saved up for a year" and bought himself two flat-screen tv/computer monitors. Then he has the balls, after my mom mentioned getting a new tv stand, saying that he'll get HER the tv stand for her Christmas present! WTF?! For her?! I come home to find a no reason surprise of roses from my husband and she gets a freaking tv stand for his tvs for Christmas. Last year, he bought her the new kitchen table. Wow.  Mike and I had no words.

   It makes me grateful for the awesome, considerate husband I have. But it hurts me to see how my mom gets the scraps from the table while my dad puts himself first. But she thinks he's a wonderful husband because, and I quote, "He is a good provider." I just hope and pray that my little sisters won't settle for anything but the best for them. I'm mostly worried about my youngest sister. She takes the brunt of the abuse now that I am gone. She is a little on the chubby side, although very active, while my other sister is slim. So she is constantly reminded about her weight and food, as well as being compared to my other sister. I don't get the big deal. I was not fat, but a bit curvier then my older sister when we were little, now she is like twice my size and I'm the "skinny" one. I use that term lightly since I've had children. LOL! I'm trying to get back there anyhow.

  Well, for anyone who actually took the time to read this epistle - thank you. I just needed to let that out. Sometimes I wish I could just hit a switch inside of me and not care anymore. But I realize my caring is what makes me human, and able to love and forgive. 

Signing Off.

-Chelle

 Hello!!!! It's 5:20 a.m. and no, I am not just waking up. (Mike is doing 3rd shift again.) I was about to FINALLY head to bed when I thought of something I just had to do on Minti before I closed my eyes. So now I have done it and yet I am still here. LOL! Ah well, going to say good day to my mum in England and then head off to bed. Good night/morning/day/evening to you all!

Signing Off.

-Chelle

 It's 2:30 in the morning and I just gave into my craving for chocolate yet again. I have been craving chocolate like crazy the last few weeks. I'm not usually that big of a chocolate person. Well, I guess it is that time right now.... Mike is at work. He went in for 3rd shift last night. I always turn insomniac whenever he's not here at night.

  I'm in kind of a reflective, stream-of-conscience mood. Random thoughts floating around in circles in my head, ranging from I really need to fold that last bit of laundry to have I really dealt with my issues with a particular person. The thoughts have started firing off to fast now. I am having difficulty clearing through them and writing in a sensical manner. I get like that sometimes. I think too much too fast. It makes talking difficult sometimes. I end up stumbling over my words and sounding stupid. And when I read, if I slow down long enough to pay attention to what I am doing, I read sentences in random pieces, somehow it all making sense in my head.

  It feels kind of lonely right now. I wouldn't mind someone to bounce thoughts off with. Maybe tackle some deeper issues...contemplate the true meaning of life... or what exactly that fuzzy stuff is doing in my belly button. Hehe....

   Ever feel like there is something you are avoiding thinking about, or talking about. Why do things from the past have to bother our present so much? You think you are over it. You've moved on. It doesn't really bother you like it used to, then you watch a movie or see a show or read a book or article, whatever and BAM! It's back in your face, screaming like a spoiled child who wants attention and wants it NOW. So you deal with it - maybe, you move on and wait until the next breakdown?

Signing Off.

-Chelle

 I feel horrible especially after reading about all the ridiculous stuff that they have to read thru already. Please accept my apologies! 

  On a good note, it snowed today!!!!!!!!!!!! My boys finally got to see it for the first time. 

 Signing Off.

 -Chelle

  It's almost 4:30 a.m. and my husband and I are still wide awake. In fact, we only ate "dinner" a little bit ago. We decided to meet up with him after he got off of work and ride back home with him. Something to make the time pass quickly for me and the boys. Well, then we decided that we should take some pics for mum and dad to see where Mike works. So we acted a little bit like tourist for a while then headed home. We didn't realize how late it was because there was so much activity still going on, even outside the city. You would think we would be the only ones with kids coming home at that time, but we weren't. So it wasn't until we walked through the door and I saw the clock that I realized what time it was - 1:10!!!!! And yes, the boys were still awake. In fact Solomon was so awake that he requested to run home. LOL! 

  Well, we got some good pics of Times Square to share. As good as they are though, they still don't do justice. As the boys and I stepped out of the subway Solomon said, " Wow. It's bright out here. Mommy, is it daytime now?" LOL!

                                               ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Ok, I'm back. I'm not sure how to get the pics into my blog so I'm just going to add them in my family pics or something. If anyone is interested, check them out.

Signing Off.

-Chelle

OK people! I had some trouble with the sizes of the files, so a few good ones are missing, but I have upload a few photos taken on my brand new camera. There may even be a brief cameo by me in a couple. Don't look to closely! LOL!