Well I was looking forward to the end of the year and having some time off but that has currently gone out the window.

I have been asked to remain on at the kindy as treasurer/bookeeper next year even with Jai leaving due to lack of volunteers and I still have Uni going on (Yay me I actually passed this year which was such a relief and shock I thought I had done terribly) so what I though would be a nice quiet period has just been forgotten as I have yet more work to do. I just cannot believe the lack of support my kindy has had this year, you would think parents would want the best for their children and have a say and input into their educations but nooooo.

so along with my schedual going pear shaped my budget has seemed to follow suit as money I thought we were going to get before christmas has fallen through and I have had to do some fancy foot work to make sure the bills are paid and my little ones get something anything for under the tree. I had so many big plans this year for what I wanted to have achieved by the end of the year and for christmas and it seems (excluding my passing uni which was a priority) all my plans have fallen short of their mark and now christmas is what 6 weeks away and I'm in a fluster.

I don't think this is going to put me on a good whicket for the new year... grrrrr

Hi All,

Everything has been so hard and stressful lately and now it's all kind of subsitted. I mean the problems with hubby and the in laws are still present (although hubby and I have had some long discussions the last few days and it feels as if we have reconnected and made some perminate improvements which is a weight off my shoulders, our only prob is what to do about to interferng in laws and their drama), Uni has finished for this year and my commitments to the kindy will end in about a month so I am at a loss of what to do with my self. I have a list of things to get done but it's not very big and I have never been one for tele I'm just worried that now I have spare time I'm going to get board and cranky (just like the kids over school holidays). I don't ususally have time to my self as I am always so busy so I feel lost and not sure where to start on my to do list as I want to stretch it out and christmas is still months away so can't get busy there yet.

this is some what a strange perdiciment I have found my self in and is the reason I stay so very busy as I can't handle free time it drive me nuts not to have things to do as there is only so many times one can go for a walk, clean there house, read, watch tele or bake...

ekk! I'm not normal

I think I'm going crazy, I am having a real hard time adjusting to my in laws being back in my life ( they lived interstate for the last 8 years and hubby wasn't real close to his brother) we are now seeing them every other day min. once a week but that doesn't include the phone calls text messages and emails practically everyday. I don't really feel comfortal around my in laws and so feel somewhat fake with them so much so that I have trouble eating in their presence ( and have begun binge eating, yay more weight!!!). the reason for not feeling comfortable around them is they scurtinise everything I do and it makes me very self concicious for example I don't like eating in public but we went out to dinner the other night and the in laws paid so I felt I had to eat and not be rude but then when I went to the buffet table I over heard my father in law say "oh so she does eat then" as a result I heaped a plate up and sat down with it and my mother in law said " do you think you should be eating like that", they also compare me to my hubby's ex who is a complete nightmare ( read previous blogs to get that) yet mil is acting like she's a saint and I'm the evil one, they critique my cleaning, cooking, clothing they things I do with the kids. it's driving me nuts and I've tried talking to them about it but they wont listen because hubby wont back me up. when I try to talk to him about whats going on he gives me this look now that says " here we go again with the whinging. everything my mil says to me I go over in my head with "why did she say that", what did she mean by that etc and it's keeping me awake at night. i use to not care what people thought of me and took things with a grain of salt but now I just can't seem to let things go. at first I just wanted to impress them as I knew it would reflect back on hubby and he needs their aproval (it's almost pathalogical his need) and so I tried to be pleasant and tidy and very stepford wifey but I can't keep it up and it's driving me nuts as I care that they think badly of me and worry that because of their opinion it's only a matter of time before hubby believes it to (as he always sides with his parents, what they say goes)it's horrible I have had hubby to my self for years and we got so use to doing things our selves and who we both where but now his family are back on the scene and in a huge way he's changed and I'm not sure I really like this new hubby he's not so nice to me anymore.

but the worst part is that because hubby keeps saying that I'm making mountains out of mole hills I'm starting to believe that the issues are in my head and I am the bad guy who keeps saying no the the grandparents etc. at first I thought it was them and now I just think Im crazy and feeling hopeless.

Well things haven't been as peachy as I had hoped they would be with Hubby's family since the return of his parents (they had been living interstate for a number of years). If you are up to speed with my previous posts you would know that Justin and his Ex (Charli's biological mother) do not get along, things are not amicable between them and never will be (Charli is aware of the bad blood between her parents) well we had in recent years had a falling out with Hubby's family (namely his brother and sister in law) because after the crap that the ex had put Justin through even to just see Charli (let alone the crap she pulls now) Justin wanted his family to make time to see his daughter when we have her and not to socialize with the ex at all (he doen't want to be around anyone that can willingly be around the ex) but his brother broke this by inviting the ex over for coffee (in a house we shared with them at the time, so the ex was socially welcomed into our home by our house mates) and Justin told them straight out that if they want a relationship with the ex they cannot be apart of his life and he was told that they do not see her anymore and it's all okay, so after not speaking for over 2 years Justin felt it was time to rebuild his relationship with his brother as his brother had just had his first child and he had been assured that the ex was not a welcomed figure...

That was until today (well more so for the entire time we have been seeing them again) you see a few weeks ago we had a huge family bbq planned to welcome back Justin's parents and to our knowledge that should have been the first time Charli meet her new cousin but when we mentioned this to her she told us that she already knows her because she sees her all the time with her mother (the ex) well Justin let this slide as sometimes charli says things off the cuff and there not ture well I was having lunch with the dear old mother in law today (yay me) and she mentioned seeing charli yesterday (not an access day for us) when she picked up her dog from my brother in law's wife and the ex had been there ( apparently she was shopping down that way, only about 2 hours from where she lives and happened to pass by so thought to drop in for coffee) well I told Justin this when I picked him up from work and he's furious. 

we are so frustrated with the lies, if they want a relationship with her fine we just want them to be open and honest about it so that Justin knows where he stands with them but they lie to his face about being with her and it's taking it's toll on the relationships. It's hard enough that we are trying to deal with nani and pop over stepping their boundaries, we are now back to square one with his brother again. I must say I miss when we weren't talking to Justin's side of the family there was a lot less drama and stress.

is it like this with everyone and their in laws, I love my sister in law (my brothers wife and my other brothers girlfriend, but my brother in law and his wife and my parent in laws are a complete nightmare).