I am currently on a life overhaul kick...

I'm so sick and tried of complaining and whinging that my life isn't what I want it to be , so I have got my self into gear and I am decluttering my house, finances etc and setting my self new goals for next year which I'm starting to implament now.

my first goal is the household budget, I've started an on-line marketting program with the hopes to earn some extra cash to supplement the budget as if I went to work outside the home I would have to stopp my studies and I would lose most of my pay to out of school care and day care. my goal is to set limits on my spending ( mainly on food) and to stick to it come hell or high water and to start on building a nest egg (savings) even if it is $5 a week until I can do more just so we have some form of buffer for emergencies etc.

my second goal is my weight issues I'm planning to make lifestyle changes and to get regular sleep, drink plenty of water and to find and exercise I love and am happy to do 3-4 times a week.

I also plan to keep up with my uni studies and my volunteer stuff just not as much so cut back a bit on the time I put into these. so with uni I will do part time study next year instead of full time and keep my volunteer time to one day a week not the ebery other day time I do now.

I also endeavour to put more time and effort into doing things the kids love and to maintianing my home and garden.

when I put it down onto paper (well computor screen) it sounds like a lot but I feel if I just structure my time and plan what and when I'm going to do things then I don't see why I can't do it all  and succeed. Just simply from decluttering my house I feel better so hopefully I can keep on going and feel better more often rather the stressed and streched to my limits.

here to new endeavours and a positive out look (we'll see how long it lasts)

Well I was looking forward to the end of the year and having some time off but that has currently gone out the window.

I have been asked to remain on at the kindy as treasurer/bookeeper next year even with Jai leaving due to lack of volunteers and I still have Uni going on (Yay me I actually passed this year which was such a relief and shock I thought I had done terribly) so what I though would be a nice quiet period has just been forgotten as I have yet more work to do. I just cannot believe the lack of support my kindy has had this year, you would think parents would want the best for their children and have a say and input into their educations but nooooo.

so along with my schedual going pear shaped my budget has seemed to follow suit as money I thought we were going to get before christmas has fallen through and I have had to do some fancy foot work to make sure the bills are paid and my little ones get something anything for under the tree. I had so many big plans this year for what I wanted to have achieved by the end of the year and for christmas and it seems (excluding my passing uni which was a priority) all my plans have fallen short of their mark and now christmas is what 6 weeks away and I'm in a fluster.

I don't think this is going to put me on a good whicket for the new year... grrrrr

Hi All,

Everything has been so hard and stressful lately and now it's all kind of subsitted. I mean the problems with hubby and the in laws are still present (although hubby and I have had some long discussions the last few days and it feels as if we have reconnected and made some perminate improvements which is a weight off my shoulders, our only prob is what to do about to interferng in laws and their drama), Uni has finished for this year and my commitments to the kindy will end in about a month so I am at a loss of what to do with my self. I have a list of things to get done but it's not very big and I have never been one for tele I'm just worried that now I have spare time I'm going to get board and cranky (just like the kids over school holidays). I don't ususally have time to my self as I am always so busy so I feel lost and not sure where to start on my to do list as I want to stretch it out and christmas is still months away so can't get busy there yet.

this is some what a strange perdiciment I have found my self in and is the reason I stay so very busy as I can't handle free time it drive me nuts not to have things to do as there is only so many times one can go for a walk, clean there house, read, watch tele or bake...

ekk! I'm not normal

I think I'm going crazy, I am having a real hard time adjusting to my in laws being back in my life ( they lived interstate for the last 8 years and hubby wasn't real close to his brother) we are now seeing them every other day min. once a week but that doesn't include the phone calls text messages and emails practically everyday. I don't really feel comfortal around my in laws and so feel somewhat fake with them so much so that I have trouble eating in their presence ( and have begun binge eating, yay more weight!!!). the reason for not feeling comfortable around them is they scurtinise everything I do and it makes me very self concicious for example I don't like eating in public but we went out to dinner the other night and the in laws paid so I felt I had to eat and not be rude but then when I went to the buffet table I over heard my father in law say "oh so she does eat then" as a result I heaped a plate up and sat down with it and my mother in law said " do you think you should be eating like that", they also compare me to my hubby's ex who is a complete nightmare ( read previous blogs to get that) yet mil is acting like she's a saint and I'm the evil one, they critique my cleaning, cooking, clothing they things I do with the kids. it's driving me nuts and I've tried talking to them about it but they wont listen because hubby wont back me up. when I try to talk to him about whats going on he gives me this look now that says " here we go again with the whinging. everything my mil says to me I go over in my head with "why did she say that", what did she mean by that etc and it's keeping me awake at night. i use to not care what people thought of me and took things with a grain of salt but now I just can't seem to let things go. at first I just wanted to impress them as I knew it would reflect back on hubby and he needs their aproval (it's almost pathalogical his need) and so I tried to be pleasant and tidy and very stepford wifey but I can't keep it up and it's driving me nuts as I care that they think badly of me and worry that because of their opinion it's only a matter of time before hubby believes it to (as he always sides with his parents, what they say goes)it's horrible I have had hubby to my self for years and we got so use to doing things our selves and who we both where but now his family are back on the scene and in a huge way he's changed and I'm not sure I really like this new hubby he's not so nice to me anymore.

but the worst part is that because hubby keeps saying that I'm making mountains out of mole hills I'm starting to believe that the issues are in my head and I am the bad guy who keeps saying no the the grandparents etc. at first I thought it was them and now I just think Im crazy and feeling hopeless.