well report cards are out and I am please to say my 2 school age bubs are doing well with b's and c's and they have a pleasant and positive attitude towards school. I always get worried when reports are due as the kids don't tell me anything about how their work is going but since they have started school they have all done wonderfully. they aren't the brightest in their class nor are they the bottom they are wonderfully average and that is a relife as they don't need assistants and they don't struggle so they get to enjoy school at an easy and relaxed pace. I like that. I'm wondering how Jaiden is going to go next year when he starts and also with our planned move I wonder how that is going to impact their learning I'm expecting a bit of a set back as they re ajust to the new school and house. hopefully nothing major.

well I hope everyone else is content with their little ones or not so little ones efforts at school this year and wish you all a merry holiday season and a safe and happy new years.

Well my chrissy decos went up today so it's offical (well at least in my house) that santa is one his way and saddly it might be the last year we hear from santa as such; as my niece and nephew have discovered the truth about santa and sadly are no longer believers at the tender ages of 5 and 7 ( childhood never lasts long now adays). I fear they are going to open their mouths and tell my kids about it now so I'm a tad sad and nervious as to how my 6 year olds going to react. I have kindly asked that my niece and nephew not say anything but we all now how children react when told not to do something. My sister in law said it was one of the hardest conversations she has had with her kids to date.

on somewhat happier news my in laws have offered to buy us a house which we will rent from them (at a reduced cost) until they die basicly and then it will be ours. this is huge and I'm having difficulty accepting because who buys people houses. I mean I know it is very generous and it will provide sercurity and stability for my family but I'm concerned as to how this will affect our relationship with them. I find my mother in law very controlling and she tends only to do things that benefit her so I'm causcious to accept the gift. but hubby is convinced that it's just to help us out and no strings attached but I was raised on the pholosophy that their not such things as a free lunch or a free ride and not to accept handouts, so I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed by all this as they want to make it happen by april next year. mmmm not sure how to take this...

along with confusing dicissions I have to organise my uni studies for next year this week an am not a 100% sure what I'm wanting to do ( a bit frazzled by the fact someone is buying me a house I think  ).

well I hope everyone has a fantastic christmas and a safe and happy new years...

Well with 2 more weeks of school left and Christmas then only 4 weeks away, one can easily say that year has gone by way to quickly. However even with that said I just can't wait til the silly season is over. It causes so much stress in my household not just finacially but also with the organising of when we can fit every body in. you see my family and Hubby's families not only don't get along with the other one but within each family unit theres people who don't get along with others, so it becomes a juggleing act of who and when we do things.

It's hectic and crazy and to be honest by the time the actual day has arrived I'm over it. we have our first of many christmas does this sunday, yay me a month of christmas instead of 1 day it loses it's meaning in the end...

I am currently on a life overhaul kick...

I'm so sick and tried of complaining and whinging that my life isn't what I want it to be , so I have got my self into gear and I am decluttering my house, finances etc and setting my self new goals for next year which I'm starting to implament now.

my first goal is the household budget, I've started an on-line marketting program with the hopes to earn some extra cash to supplement the budget as if I went to work outside the home I would have to stopp my studies and I would lose most of my pay to out of school care and day care. my goal is to set limits on my spending ( mainly on food) and to stick to it come hell or high water and to start on building a nest egg (savings) even if it is $5 a week until I can do more just so we have some form of buffer for emergencies etc.

my second goal is my weight issues I'm planning to make lifestyle changes and to get regular sleep, drink plenty of water and to find and exercise I love and am happy to do 3-4 times a week.

I also plan to keep up with my uni studies and my volunteer stuff just not as much so cut back a bit on the time I put into these. so with uni I will do part time study next year instead of full time and keep my volunteer time to one day a week not the ebery other day time I do now.

I also endeavour to put more time and effort into doing things the kids love and to maintianing my home and garden.

when I put it down onto paper (well computor screen) it sounds like a lot but I feel if I just structure my time and plan what and when I'm going to do things then I don't see why I can't do it all  and succeed. Just simply from decluttering my house I feel better so hopefully I can keep on going and feel better more often rather the stressed and streched to my limits.

here to new endeavours and a positive out look (we'll see how long it lasts)

Well I was looking forward to the end of the year and having some time off but that has currently gone out the window.

I have been asked to remain on at the kindy as treasurer/bookeeper next year even with Jai leaving due to lack of volunteers and I still have Uni going on (Yay me I actually passed this year which was such a relief and shock I thought I had done terribly) so what I though would be a nice quiet period has just been forgotten as I have yet more work to do. I just cannot believe the lack of support my kindy has had this year, you would think parents would want the best for their children and have a say and input into their educations but nooooo.

so along with my schedual going pear shaped my budget has seemed to follow suit as money I thought we were going to get before christmas has fallen through and I have had to do some fancy foot work to make sure the bills are paid and my little ones get something anything for under the tree. I had so many big plans this year for what I wanted to have achieved by the end of the year and for christmas and it seems (excluding my passing uni which was a priority) all my plans have fallen short of their mark and now christmas is what 6 weeks away and I'm in a fluster.

I don't think this is going to put me on a good whicket for the new year... grrrrr

Hi All,

Everything has been so hard and stressful lately and now it's all kind of subsitted. I mean the problems with hubby and the in laws are still present (although hubby and I have had some long discussions the last few days and it feels as if we have reconnected and made some perminate improvements which is a weight off my shoulders, our only prob is what to do about to interferng in laws and their drama), Uni has finished for this year and my commitments to the kindy will end in about a month so I am at a loss of what to do with my self. I have a list of things to get done but it's not very big and I have never been one for tele I'm just worried that now I have spare time I'm going to get board and cranky (just like the kids over school holidays). I don't ususally have time to my self as I am always so busy so I feel lost and not sure where to start on my to do list as I want to stretch it out and christmas is still months away so can't get busy there yet.

this is some what a strange perdiciment I have found my self in and is the reason I stay so very busy as I can't handle free time it drive me nuts not to have things to do as there is only so many times one can go for a walk, clean there house, read, watch tele or bake...

ekk! I'm not normal

I think I'm going crazy, I am having a real hard time adjusting to my in laws being back in my life ( they lived interstate for the last 8 years and hubby wasn't real close to his brother) we are now seeing them every other day min. once a week but that doesn't include the phone calls text messages and emails practically everyday. I don't really feel comfortal around my in laws and so feel somewhat fake with them so much so that I have trouble eating in their presence ( and have begun binge eating, yay more weight!!!). the reason for not feeling comfortable around them is they scurtinise everything I do and it makes me very self concicious for example I don't like eating in public but we went out to dinner the other night and the in laws paid so I felt I had to eat and not be rude but then when I went to the buffet table I over heard my father in law say "oh so she does eat then" as a result I heaped a plate up and sat down with it and my mother in law said " do you think you should be eating like that", they also compare me to my hubby's ex who is a complete nightmare ( read previous blogs to get that) yet mil is acting like she's a saint and I'm the evil one, they critique my cleaning, cooking, clothing they things I do with the kids. it's driving me nuts and I've tried talking to them about it but they wont listen because hubby wont back me up. when I try to talk to him about whats going on he gives me this look now that says " here we go again with the whinging. everything my mil says to me I go over in my head with "why did she say that", what did she mean by that etc and it's keeping me awake at night. i use to not care what people thought of me and took things with a grain of salt but now I just can't seem to let things go. at first I just wanted to impress them as I knew it would reflect back on hubby and he needs their aproval (it's almost pathalogical his need) and so I tried to be pleasant and tidy and very stepford wifey but I can't keep it up and it's driving me nuts as I care that they think badly of me and worry that because of their opinion it's only a matter of time before hubby believes it to (as he always sides with his parents, what they say goes)it's horrible I have had hubby to my self for years and we got so use to doing things our selves and who we both where but now his family are back on the scene and in a huge way he's changed and I'm not sure I really like this new hubby he's not so nice to me anymore.

but the worst part is that because hubby keeps saying that I'm making mountains out of mole hills I'm starting to believe that the issues are in my head and I am the bad guy who keeps saying no the the grandparents etc. at first I thought it was them and now I just think Im crazy and feeling hopeless.

Well things haven't been as peachy as I had hoped they would be with Hubby's family since the return of his parents (they had been living interstate for a number of years). If you are up to speed with my previous posts you would know that Justin and his Ex (Charli's biological mother) do not get along, things are not amicable between them and never will be (Charli is aware of the bad blood between her parents) well we had in recent years had a falling out with Hubby's family (namely his brother and sister in law) because after the crap that the ex had put Justin through even to just see Charli (let alone the crap she pulls now) Justin wanted his family to make time to see his daughter when we have her and not to socialize with the ex at all (he doen't want to be around anyone that can willingly be around the ex) but his brother broke this by inviting the ex over for coffee (in a house we shared with them at the time, so the ex was socially welcomed into our home by our house mates) and Justin told them straight out that if they want a relationship with the ex they cannot be apart of his life and he was told that they do not see her anymore and it's all okay, so after not speaking for over 2 years Justin felt it was time to rebuild his relationship with his brother as his brother had just had his first child and he had been assured that the ex was not a welcomed figure...

That was until today (well more so for the entire time we have been seeing them again) you see a few weeks ago we had a huge family bbq planned to welcome back Justin's parents and to our knowledge that should have been the first time Charli meet her new cousin but when we mentioned this to her she told us that she already knows her because she sees her all the time with her mother (the ex) well Justin let this slide as sometimes charli says things off the cuff and there not ture well I was having lunch with the dear old mother in law today (yay me) and she mentioned seeing charli yesterday (not an access day for us) when she picked up her dog from my brother in law's wife and the ex had been there ( apparently she was shopping down that way, only about 2 hours from where she lives and happened to pass by so thought to drop in for coffee) well I told Justin this when I picked him up from work and he's furious. 

we are so frustrated with the lies, if they want a relationship with her fine we just want them to be open and honest about it so that Justin knows where he stands with them but they lie to his face about being with her and it's taking it's toll on the relationships. It's hard enough that we are trying to deal with nani and pop over stepping their boundaries, we are now back to square one with his brother again. I must say I miss when we weren't talking to Justin's side of the family there was a lot less drama and stress.

is it like this with everyone and their in laws, I love my sister in law (my brothers wife and my other brothers girlfriend, but my brother in law and his wife and my parent in laws are a complete nightmare).  

Well the kids had their sleep over at nani and pop's and as I predicted they got sent home early for bad behaviour.

I was so angry and not with the kids because I knew they would do this it's with my in laws (nani and pop) as they razz the kids up let them run wild and then try to discipline them and what do they get 3 kids who wont listen because they don't think nani and pop are being serious, so nani and pop get sick of them and send them home. I don't know how many times I've explained to my in laws that they need to set firm boundaries and rules and follow through with the concequienceswhen the kids don't follow those rules but no nani lets them do what ever until pop steps in because he's had enough and then nani sides with pop. I have asked that they have similar rules to what we have at home so the kids have consistancy from on place to the next but they seem to have no rules until they feel tired and worn out.

I'm so angry and annoyed I have spoken to them countless times and I've tried to get Justin to as well but because their his parents he wont be firm with them and I'm sick of constantly being the bad guy with the in laws. I'm so sick of my mother in law using the line "I'm nani I can get away with it" because she can't and I've said that to her she just wont listen and hopw can I expect my kids to listen to me when another grown up wont. I'm so angry right now

I have just had a really bad week personally, I gained instead of lost at my weigh in and I failed my last 2 assignments for Uni. Things aren't so great at present I thought things where traveling well but now they seem to have gone pear shape and I'm not to sure why. I know things come in 3's so I'm now really worried about whats next. The kids are about to have their first ever sleep over at nani and poppy's and I'm worried about the attitude I'm going to get when they get back as nani has discipline issued and my darlings get what ever they want and charli gets favoured over the others which always causes trouble.

I don't know if I just need a break or whats going on but I need to re-focus and to get back on track.

heres to hoping the week ahead is a good one