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19

Nov

2006

Its been ten days, where have I been..

Comment Published at 05:42

05:42

37 comments

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Okay everyone, I have some really really bad news. It has been a week, so most of it has past. I hope that Minti friends dont take on too much of this bad news, but Clay and I lost the baby at 16 weeks

. I went in for what I thought would be a great scan, but it turned out to be a very big shock that the baby had died...I immediately was very distraught and went into shock, thankfully I had an amazing midwife in the clinic. She helped me start to grieve immediately, that hour before hospital (clinic is connected next door) felt like I grieved for a week. She stayed with me in hospital until I felt ok. Thankfully, I also realized that this event was outside my coping capabiities and immediately asked for Pastoral Care to come and talk to me (thank goodness)...so we were very sad, but I now realise I need to let my body heal. My friend has referred me to one of the top natropath's here (Natural way to better babies)...I am very thankful that I had so much support from everyone...I do feel I am starting to feel better, I get a little sad a times, but that is getting less and less.

I am very grateful for my son and hubby ....I sure I will bounce back and have a healthy baby 2 in good time. Thankfully, my midwife mentioned when I do fall pregnant again down the track, I can go in anytime and scan my tum for my sanity and seeing a heart beat.

So not the news I was expecting to blog about tonight, but just by doing this is helping a great deal...

Also I have just gone to the Lost Baby's group and posted "surreal"...am thankful this group was set up too.

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Comments

	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| hrs2004

Oh Rachel

I am so sorry to hear about your little one. I can't imagine how devastated you must feel. I am pleased for you that you did tell everyone the great news and the sad news because support at a time like this is vital, I believe. Keep sharing and healing and I hope that time passes and the pain eases. My thoughts are with you all.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| mcm

Hugs for you.

Sad to hear of your loss. I am crying reading your entry. I lost our second baby and it was hard. It was hard on my hubby and girl too. I can't even describe the feelings. I shall read the entries in that minti group. I was wondering if we had such a group. Sometimes we just need to know we aren't alone. As you can see by the comments you certainly are not.
Hugs for you, Clay and Codi.
All the best
Kym

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| samantha

i'm so very sorry also

but you are a very strong family so you will soldier on

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	4.00 (Good) \| November 2006 \| CindyC

So very sorry.

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	4.00 (Good) \| November 2006 \| Tink1976

Our deep felt sympathies.

(((((((HUG)))))))

Love Tink & Amy x

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| tiggerfuloffun

I'm so sorry

Rachel, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband & I are trying for our 1st child so I don't think I can even imagine what you must be feeling but my thoughts are with you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| vikkianderson

Its been 10 days

Rachel- so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...I can only imagine what you are going thru. God be with you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| ktriggs3

i have something simalar to share, I relate.

I am sorry for you loss and if you ever need someone to talk to i am hear, about 5 years ago on november 29 2001 i gave birth to a baby boy that died weighing 6p 4o born at 403pm died at 445pm he had no chance they told me at 5 months my baby was going to die, i just didnt want to believe it till it actually happened.He had a kidney disease which caused a world of problems, to me now it all feels like a bad night mare that never happened, but thank god for my oldest he helped me throw it and now i have 2 more to help me, but i dont believe i really god over it, i just wonder what could of been.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| rachelcook

i have something simalar to share, I relate.

Oh I feel so much for you, it is hard to describe. thank you so much for sharing and how much you went through and the strength you needed to find...I am glad we are getting the courage to speak out about this type of loss, it is helping more and more mums/women comes to terms with the loss and not feel alone...I feel some sort of sisterhood that is quitely binding us together...

....and I agree, just a smile from Codi is like getting flowers...it is reassuring that kids you have remind you of the 'little' miracles you have and how kids help you inside...I can see how it is helping me. I still get emotional but it is getting better.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| primrose1963

My sympathies

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to understand your grief, but I do send my heartfelt sympathies to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| ssedgar

so sorry

I am so sorry to hear your bad news, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Be strong

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Kristen

So very sorry

Rachel, please know that you, Clay and Codi are in our thoughts and prayers. your Minti family loves you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Marglr

For Rachel

All I wish for you is to recover. Back when I lost my four it was to be ignored,didn't happen and go on. As you well know you have suffered a loss,a great loss of what was to be. Nurture yourself and lean on others,they want to be there for you. Draw in your circle of loved ones, they feel your loss and that's the best to do because there lies the strength! You don't need to be strong,let them do it for you,you need to heal. You have a great spirit Rachel. Thinking of you with love and respect,Marg

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| ClayCook

tears of thanks...

Just wanted to pop in to rach's blog and say thank you to everyone here.
your comments have moved me and i can assure you they have moved rach. i am sure she will log back in tonight and read the latest comments.
thank you all sooo much

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| tracey

tears of thanks...

Clay, the community you guys have created is incredible and it must feel comforting to have it to fall back on for support. You and Rachel are incredible people and amazing parents. You are an inspiration to us all. We are all thinking of you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| ClayCook

tears of thanks...

thanks tracey - the community is amazing - we are very lucky to have such amazing people connected to us.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Simone

So sorry

Hi Rachel,

So sorry to hear about your loss! Very sad :(

Am glad to hear you've had good help from nurses etc, and that you are talking about it, that's good.

Take care,

Simone

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| julielf

Don't know what to say

It is always such a sad time when you lose someone so special to you - even though you have not yet held them - you still have a love for them and have lost someone who was a part of you.

I too am so sorry for your loss and I hope this makes you more happy than sad and gives you some hope. I truly believe that your baby is in an awesome place being cared for and one day you will be able to hold your baby and love them.

Keep rested and give Codi (and Clay) even more love and they will help you get through.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| angelmum

So Sorry

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay Strong

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Frontier

We share your sorrow

Rachel, I am so sorry to hear this. We have had a similar experience and being hard enough as a husband I cannot say I feel the same feelings you do now.
but I can say that you will move through this and heal yourself and the world of minti which you helped create and share with us will always be here for you when you need us.
We were eventually blessed with the most wonderful 2nd child and our lives are now filled with so much pleasure and minti is where we tell the world how lucky we are.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Izzy

I'm so sorry

I am so sorry to hear about your lost. It is very brave of you to share. Putting it out in the open will only help you cope.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| rachelcook

I love Minti...

My goodness I woke this morning with such loving and wonderful comments...cant help but get all teary, thank you all so much..each read from each comment got blurrier and blurrier

... each one of you touched my heart and helped it heal just a little bit more...

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| Jessgore

I don't know what to say...

Rachel and clay, I am sorry for the loss and my thoughts are with you... I am sorry but I am at a loss for words.

My love to the three of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Hugs all around...

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| tracey

Surreal is a good word

Rach, I am so sorry about the news. My thoughts are with you and Clay as you are coping with your loss. I am glad you shared it all with us. It is very brave of you to share it. I do believe that getting it out in the open and allowing the sadness to be present is a healthy part of the process. I lost a baby as well (between my two girls) and your story brought those feelings back. It is a difficult journey, I remember it so vividly but the passing of time does make it easier. I never want to forget that experience (and I know I never will) but now my pain has turned to melancholy as I look back at that baby as the fleeting little soul that was only with us briefly. Like you said in your post "surreal", I am thankful I we touched one another even if only for that moment in time. I too am confident you will have another happy healthy baby (like Codi) but for now, I wish you peace in this time. Thinking of you sweet Rachel. xo tracey

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	November 2006 \| rachelcook

Surreal is a good word

Tracey as much as I can type now, you are a shining light for me

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| MumKim

I don't know what to say

I am so sorry for the loss of your child and all the hopes and dreams that come with finding out that you are pregnant. We lost our first child at 16 and a half weeks. That was nearly two years ago and I still grieve for Baylee.
I found the genetic counseling service at King Edward Hospital to be excellent. We also had a naming service which helped too. I still wear the little silver angel we bought the day we lost her.
As painful as it was, and still is, I feel fortunate to have carried her for nearly 17 weeks. She brought us closer to each other and to our family's.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Clay, Codi and your little angel at this time.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| wildrose

I'm so sorry

Oh Rach...I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say more, I just hope that you and Clay can be strong and somehow pass this sad moment. *BIG HUG*.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| elizabeth

So sorry

I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you, Clay and Codi. My heart and prayers go out to you all.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| talele12

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

I'm so sorry, I know what your feeling.. I lost a baby at 15 weeks and I completly understand your pain.. It will get better with time, after that I had a healthy baby girl.. Don't try to hold back your emotions is ok to cry and feel down sometimes.. Good luck and I'm here for you ..

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| mommyofWHA

so sad

My sympathies to you, Clay and Codi. With tears in my eyes I send big warm Canadian hugs! Your minti family is here with you whenever you need us

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| jenlemen

so, so sad

lots of love and prayers coming your way. i am so sorry to hear this news and hope everything you need comes your way at just the right moment, rachel. my heart goes out to you.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| allyp

Very sorry

Hey Rachel, I am very sorry to hear about your baby. I was sad reading it and I am glad that you are doing better now. I can't imagine what you're going through.

*gives alot of hugs to you*

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| yumsus

Sad News

I'm very sad to hear of your loss. Nicole also sends her sorrow.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| rachelcook

Sad News

thank you..was challenging, but very thankful for support from everyone and thank you for yours + Nicoles

...

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| michellei

Its been ten days, where have I been..

Take care of your self and your family at this very sad time.
lost-babys.minti.com/blog/17818/Can-you-be-a-Mummy-if-your-babys-not-with-you-/

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| rachelcook

Its been ten days, where have I been..

thank you...(a little tear) thank you sooooo much...I just posted at Lost babys and just came back and noticed I had a comment. Thank you, very helpful

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| November 2006 \| michellei

Its been ten days, where have I been..

The poem is hard to read and I wanted to warn you of such, but I figured you would understand from the title what it was about.
I hope you can maybe print it out and put it some place special to you. My friend printed it out for me, framed it and I now have it sitting in my wardrobe lol as I have managed to find some kind of acceptence.

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