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 Member » RadicalB » Blog » A Family Is No Longer A Family
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This post is from from my other blog here I was struck the other day when I overhead a comment made by a mother about her daughter. It appears her daughter was pregnant and about to give birth. The comment went along the lines of "she is too young to be a mother, she really isn't ready for it".
Fair enough. I imagined her daughter to be a teenager, maybe single - sign of the times I guess. But no, her daughter is in her early 20's.
Now that got me thinking. If she isn't ready to be a mother, when will she be ready? When she's 30?
We are in a society now that is actually failing to teach our children how to be parents for the next generation. We are no longer passing on 'parenting skills' and this is occurring due to a number of circumstances.
The first is simply the lack of siblings. Big families are no more. Most families are either one or two child families and those children are often only a couple of years apart. I have met young women who have never changed a nappy (diaper). Never had the opportunity to bottle feed a baby or help with bathing.
When these young women finally have their own child, everything is new. No wonder they are nervous and feel as if they are not prepared to be a mother - they aren't.
The other problem is the duel working parent situation. Both parents are working, the youngsters are often sent to day care or to a friend to care for them. Once they get home, its the TV to baby sit whilst mom prepares dinner. The kids are shunted off out of the way - they are not even learning the basics of cooking or cleaning.
As families, it is those moments together; whilst cooking a meal; or helping to bath the baby; or helping give baby a bottle; or helping to change a nappy; that the foundation for so many life long skills are initiated and developed. I am not just talking about our daughters either, our sons are also missing out on these important lessons.
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Re: A Family Is No Longer A Family
I was 18 when i had my first child.No i wasnt ready,i didnt have anything for him till i was just about to give birth.I now have had my 4th child 17 and a half yrs later to the same man i had my first with.I wasnt ready for commitment,being a mother,being a supportive partner or ready for the changes in life i was facing.It was all thrown at me and i delt with it,and now,i am proud of myself,my husband(back then was boyfriend)and my 4 beautiful children.We do our best at the time with hard, sad, and good times, and no, i wouldnt change a thing as it has made me who i am today and who my family is today...
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Re: A Family Is No Longer A Family
I know when I was 18-21, I was definitely not ready to be a parent. And, as you know, even at 22 when our first daughter was on the way, I was barely ready for it. You can't be ready for parenthood without experiencing it for yourself. yes, I do think that young ladies should think about experiencing more of the world before committing to being with a child/ren 24 hours a day, but ultimately, it is their choice, and if they want to restrict their life experience by having a baby, then let them. It isn't really restricting their life experience at all. They are raising the next generation, a very important job, and learning some very valuable skills along the way. Ok, so they are missing out on what are called the employable skills, but there is always time to gain them later. The ability to have children is not there forever, so no matter how objectionable we are to young mums, we should support their decisions and help them to be a good parent.
Our 5th child will be here in a few weeks, and I have to say, I'm just not ready for it, and I am 28. I know I felt the same with all my babies, and that when they came along, we both got ready for it. You and I have jumped every hurdle and climbed every obstacle that parenting and the world in general have thrown at us, and I think that we make a great team. Ready or not, I love you.
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