My daughter has OCD.  It's difficult to live with if you're not used to keeping things in perfect order, and have no interest in doing so.  I'm happier if things aren't totally organised, DD has panic attacks if things aren't totally organised so it's exhausting for me to keep up.  After our holiday, we came home and the fan blades were dusty (I'd left windows open and the dust storm came through so I guess that didn't help) and as soon as we walked in she started to fret that the fans had a little dust on them.  I had to try and get everything unpacked and get rid of dust, when all I wanted to do was have a lay down after 6 hours in the car!

The school has been really good.  I've noticed that not too many people understand OCD.  Whenever I mention to other parents that she's gotta see the paediatrician about behaviour, it's assumed she has ADHD.  People understand ADHD more these days as such a large number of children have it and therefore, I believe, we've had to learn more about the condition.  OCD is almost unheard of in children.  I can't even get assistance through the public system as no paed has any experience with this condition.  I've got Carer's Allowance now which is a huge help toward her therapy.  I just recently paid a huge sum of money for a specialist to go into her classroom and work with the teacher and teacher aide to teach them how to minimise anxiety in the classroom, and handle anxiety attacks if they do occur so that I don't get so many calls at work to pick her up when they can't get her to breathe properly.

She's doing much better this term, the teacher has put strategies in place now to help her at school and as a result has had no problems with panic or anxiety, although it's only been a week.  So here's hoping this last term of Prep is going to go well!  When we find out who her Year 1 teacher will be, I'll pay that same specialist to come in and go over everything with that teacher and any aides if they have any in the room.

Well, better get onto this housework before it builds up more and causes any problems...

Back to the paediatrician today.  My daughter has a diagnosis, but the paed won't fill out the form for Carer's Allowance because I didn't agree to medication straight away.  I think that medication is needed in some cases, and I would agree without hesitation if I thought my child needed it, but sometimes there are more natural ways to deal with problems.  Unfortunately, the prescription medication is subsidised whereas the more natural remedies are often expensive.  It's not like my child is out of control, has violent outbursts, that sort of thing.  She does have meltdowns at certain things, and this can be limited by reducing the chance of it happening, like going shopping at quiet times, keeping order and structure to the house, keeping routines the same, limiting the amount of changes that occur, or change things at a much slower pace.  She can be helped with the meltdowns by using herbal remedies that calm kids right down.  Once I'm back working and have the available finances, I'll be able to purchase that product.  Rescue Remedy doesn't work with my daughter, it doesn't reduce the frequency or severity of the meltdowns in any way at all.  There's another one on the market that will be worth trying, though.

The paediatrician mentioned 2 weeks ago that because we are vegetarian, my daughter's iron level will be low and that may be the cause of some the behaviours.  She rang yesterday and said she was surprised that my daughter's blood tests have shown that her levels are spot-on with everything.  Goes to show that even vegetarian families are providing their children with all the vitamins and minerals they need in a day.

The paediatrician also hasn't written her report, which means the school still has nothing to go on other than what I tell them after an appointment.  I know she's just being thorough and wants to make sure that the conditions she's diagnosed are not a symptom of something else before writing out the report, but until the report is done my child can't get the extra help she needs at school and the problems aren't officially recognised.

I'm going into today's appointment with 2 goals: To get the Carer's Allowance form filled out so I can start actually being able to afford to help my child and to pay for her paed appointments without having to reduce our groceries each week; and to get her to write up a report stating the 2 conditions she's already diagnosed so the school can have a copy of the report and put things in place to help my daughter day to day.

2 serves of fruit and 5 serves of veg, that is.  This came about after DD's teacher approached me and said she hadn't been packed a single piece of fruit in her lunch box for a couple of days at Prep.  I assured her teacher that really, she was getting all she needed over the day.  She was having a fruit smoothie in the morning using 2 bananas and a tub of mango yoghurt.  In her lunch box she was having raw vegies such as carrot, celery, beans, cucumber and so on which meant she was having vegetables through the day as well as with her evening meal, as our evening meal is never large.

It got me thinking, though, do you get your 2 and 5 each day?

I've spoken to a few people.  One of my workmates has said she *will* babysit for me if it's urgent, there's no one else, and she's available but she doesn't like to babysit and won't babysit on a regular basis.  My boss said she knows a girl, 17, responsible, reliable, and my boss said she'd recommend her, it's her friend's daughter.  I used to work with the girl's mother until December, and met the 2 younger kids (now aged 9 and 11 years) but had not met the 17 year old before.  I knew she looked after her 2 younger siblings but that's the only time I heard her name mentioned was when my workmate was going out and said she was babysitting for her.

Anyway, I had a night out planned for next Friday night.  Just a trial run.  Was going to the pub down the end of my street from 8 until 10.  Only have 1, maybe 2 drinks just to see how the babysit went and how DD responded to her and everything else.  Spoke to my boss about it and she mentioned this girl has had problems.  When more questions were asked about this girls problems, it turns out she cuts herself, which I wasn't overly concerned with in itself, but she's also attempted suicide twice in 2 years, once was when she was babysitting her 2 younger siblings.  The parents came home from a meal at a restaurant just before they left in December to find their 17 year old daughter without much of a pulse.  She took a whole heap of sleeping pills.  How is that responsible??? It would be better to leave my child at home alone than to have her traumatised (and essentially alone) by the babysitter offing herself while she was charge of the child!

I'm not desperate to find a babysitter, but she turns 6 soon and I hardly go out anywhere, and it would just be nice to have a babysitter.  For instance, next Wednesday we have staff training which will go pretty late, so Miss 5 will have to just come along with me and be awake until 10pm on a school night.  Far from ideal.  A babysitter who could come here and keep her in routine would be much better.  But I'd rather have her out late for staff meetings or training, or miss out on movies or nights out, than leave her with someone who is going to kill herself or start cutting herself when she's meant to be babysitting.

I just don't know why it's so hard to find a babysitter who I would trust enough with my child, my very reason for everything I do in life.  Apparently this girl has had help, and that's great, and maybe in a few more years she'd be ok, but it was only December when she last attempted suicide.  I've been asking around work and at the school Miss 5 attends, I've asked friends with children but they either don't go out, have family in town, have a husband/partner at home to watch the kids, or they are single and the other parent has the children every second weekend.  Not much use to me at all.

With my boss, she has 3 kids and her friend has 3 kids.  They babysit for each other, they don't let anyone else look after their kids, and they don't babysit for anyone other than each other.  I need a friend like that with just one child.  It's hardly fair taking on someone else's 3 children in exchange for them looking after my one child.

Or maybe I'm just expecting too much from a babysitter.  I'm not fond of just ringing random numbers in the newspaper in case the person is just like the one my boss reccommended.  It also doesn't sit well with me to advertise needing a babysitter for that same reason.