Here is my birth story of my second child:  it was published in the December issue of Birthing Magazine

Giving Thanks for Baby Ryan

 

Ryan Alexander’s unassisted home water birth story

 

Copy:

TINE: On Thanksgiving Day, Dawn called to ask if I would help with a birth. It was a girlfriend of hers and I said yes. She said she would call again when it was time.

That evening I received another call from Dawn. “Remember what I asked you?” she said. “Well the woman is in labour, can you come?”

TAMARA: My only plan was that I knew I wanted an unassisted home birth and that I wanted to birth in water. How that was going to happen was another challenge. I didn’t have the financial resources or the space to accomplish it. Then something amazing happened. I received a call from Dawn, who had heard about my situation and wanted to help out. She said she was going to provide me with a birth pool and offered to help in any other way she could.  

That was Monday morning – Thanksgiving Day. I went to her home to check things out. She took one look at me and asked if I was ready to have the baby right then and there…I guess my face had that look women get when they start labour.

 

DAWN:  I opened the door to Tamara.  She leaned forward, put one hand on the door frame, bent at the knees, and let out a long low grunt.  It was definitely the sound of a woman having a contraction.

 

TAMARA:  I had been having slight contractions for the last 24 hours but I knew I wasn’t ready yet. This was my second child, so I was more relaxed about the whole thing. I had been experiencing pre-labour for the past couple of weeks. I knew it was soon, but that there was still time until the main event. Besides, I had a dinner party to go to! My girlfriend, an accomplished belly dancer, leader of a burlesque troupe, and dance instructor, was having her yearly Thanksgiving Orphan’s Dinner and I didn’t want to miss it.

TINE: I changed my clothes and left the house. I did not know it was Dawn’s address I had been given until I arrived at her home at about 11 pm. Tamara was walking in the living room and Dawn introduced me to her. Tamara was carrying a nice big round soccer ball belly in front of her, and breathing was fine. She paused when a contraction came, and just kept on walking.

TAMARA: It was 8:00 pm when my water broke. Well, actually it was more like a trickle. You hear of women having the gush…mine was a trickle which lasted a while. I had been laughing a lot, stuffing myself with stuffing and Irish soda bread made fresh by a man my girlfriend invited (he turned out to be someone I used to hang out with in my early teens).

I went upstairs to the bathroom to check things out and sure enough there was light spotting. It was time. I went back downstairs with a big grin on my face. My girlfriend took one look at me and shrieked! We had both agreed that she would come after the birth, but she was too squeamish to be there while it was happening.

Two minutes later there was another trickle so up the stairs I went. By now the guests were all clued into what was happening and I think they might have been a bit worried about being present at a birth. So when I got to the bathroom I jokingly yelled down to my girlfriend, “Mind if I borrow your tub for a few hours?” She shrieked again! It was cute!

My flow was increasing a bit so I knew it was time to go. Her mother followed me in her car while I drove from Inglewood to Glamorgan to pick up a few items and then on to Scenic Acres where Dawn lived. I think I phoned her. I don’t remember. I do remember breathing a lot while driving and being focused totally in the now.

DAWN:  She did call me and told me her water had broke and that she would be back soon.  So I went downstairs and started filling the birth pool.

TAMARA:  I got to Dawn’s around 9:30 pm. She gave me tea, showed me the setup, and suggested I watch water birth videos. I did and I am thankful for it. They totally put me in the place I needed to be – once I got over the initial shock of, “Oh my god – I remember that FEELING!”, as the women in the video went through their contractions and delivery.

I remember calling my other girlfriend, Michelle, who is a craniosacral therapist. I had asked her to be there and she said she would. Dawn called Tine and the rest of the team was on there way.

TINE: In the suite downstairs the fireplace was lit, a big birth tub was set up, and the water was getting nice and warm.

Dawn had a big pile of towels and receiving blanket beside the pool. She had made the bed, and sterilized scissors and twine for tying off the umbilical cord.

Tamara went in the bedroom on her knees and lay with her head on the bed for support. She was breathing well. Dawn asked, “What about some hip squeezes, would you like that Tamara?” I moved behind Tamara and pulled her hips back and she liked it, and was asking me to do it some more. “Why did they not do that last time?” she asked.

TAMARA: Like it? I LOVED IT! It was close to midnight and the contractions had built steadily over the last hour. I was most comfortable on my knees with my upper chest supported by the end of the bed. The contractions were three minutes apart at this point and all I felt I wanted to do was kneel and moan and breathe. When the contractions came, Tine would kneel right behind me and grab my hip bones and pull back. IT TOTALLY REDUCED THE PRESSURE! And the added stimulation to that area helped distract me from the prime mover. Michelle was performing cranio and healing touch and, again, I was relieved from the intensity of the experience.

TINE: Tamara had to go to the bathroom. She had to push, she said. Well she had a good bowel movement. I said, ““Move your hips back and forth while sitting on the toilet.”

TAMARA: I remember going to the toilet and Tine suggesting the rocking motion. I was so appreciative of the suggestions these women had for making this experience more comfortable. I remember the contractions were coming harder and sitting at the end of the bed was no longer doing it for me. Time to switch locales. So into the birth pool I went.

TINE: Around 2:00 am, Tamara went into the tub. Michele went to sleep on the floor in front of the tub. To my amazement, she really fell asleep.

TAMARA: CBC was on strike, so it was classical music all night with no interruptions. Dawn had created an amazing atmosphere with her fireplace, perfect temperature birth pool, and candelabra lighting the area. Michelle was exhausted but didn’t want to miss anything so she laid down right beside the pool and closed her eyes. Every so often I would see her smile and know she was present, just resting for the main event.

In the meantime, here I was in a birth pool large enough to comfortably float in. The most comfortable position was on my knees, or just floating on my belly, with my forehead pressed on the edge of the pool. First I used a towel, but then Dawn got me a foam cushion made just for that. Pressing my forehead on it was a nice reliever too. So I floated and when the contractions came, I either squatted or got the “hip squeezes.” When resting, I used an under-inflated beach ball as a pillow and just floated. Wow! Relief between contractions is incredible.

TINE: At 4:00 am, I went to bed and fell asleep. Tamara had to go to the bathroom again; Dawn and Michelle helped her out of the tub. She stayed out for a while and went on her knees in front of the bed. I woke up and did the hip squeezes again.

TAMARA: This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me. I remember having to go to the bathroom again and I remember throwing up. Both excellent signs of transition, I’m told by my cheerleaders. But I don’t remember Tine leaving, nor was I aware that Dawn had gone to sleep earlier. Go figure! I do remember the pain and it was getting really intense now. I remember moaning a lot – thank goodness for my coaches. I sort of remember being at the end of the bed…

TINE: Around 6:00 am, I knew Tamara was close. She was getting edgy and she wanted to go back into the tub. Dawn stepped into the tub as well. She floated with Tamara, and held onto her. Tamara’s head was against the side of the tub and she was moaning really good now. She said she was “not having any more kids.” It was so good to hear that, because almost every woman say’s the same thing, and we know that the baby will be here very soon.

TAMARA: Yes, well at one point I remember saying, “I’m done.” In other words, I didn’t want to do this anymore… someone else take over for me, I’m done…okay? ”Excellent!” I hear the witches say, “She’s transitioning.”

TINE: Dawn’s children, aged two and four, woke up because they said they could hear the lion roar from Tamara. They came downstairs and quietly watched.

Dawn was a good sport. She stepped into the tub again and had to change a few times. At 7:30 am and Dawn had just walked away. It was right after we had checked with a light to see if we could see the head, and I could see Tamara opening up. I could see the baby’s head.

Dawn had just left to look after her daughter and, it never fails, that is when Tamara stood up and said I think I popped the head. I reached down and sure enough the baby’s head was out. I called for Dawn to come right away, and she did.

In the next push the baby came out. This was my first unassisted water birth - how was I suppose to turn the baby? But Dawn said don’t worry; a water birth baby is supposed to just slide out and turn themselves. And he did.

TAMARA:  At 7:45 am, October 11, 2005 Ryan Alexander entered this world!

TINE: Tamara was still in the tub. Michelle pumped some water out. The baby was on Tamara’s shoulder and she tried to breastfeed him but he wasn’t interested yet.

The placenta was born about 35 minutes later. Then Tamara came out of the tub, a blanket was put on the floor in front of the fireplace and she and baby Ryan laid down. The cord was tied and Tamara cut it.

Now we had to attend to the bleeding. I thought Tamara had torn too much and I was not comfortable with that.

The uterus had reduced into a big ball and was two centimeters below the bellybutton. Dawn and I checked the tear again after I cleaned the area, and we could both see it was smaller than we had imagined. Tamara decided it was not necessary to go to the hospital.  I cleaned up the baby, and Mom and baby went to bed.

I helped Dawn clean up the tub and the room, Dawn made fruit drinks for all of us, and I checked on Tamara again to make sure the uterus was contracting nicely, which it was. Ryan had latched on and was nursing.

At 11:00 am, I left to go home. Congratulations Tamara, for a job well done, you were just great. And thanks for including me.

TAMARA: The love and support I received throughout this pregnancy truly sustained me. Thank you to EVERYONE!

-30-

 

BIO:

Tamara is the mother of two boys, a self employed graphic designer, promoter of musicians, dancers and artists, and an advocate for choices in healthcare.

Tine is an assisted midwife, birth and postpartum doula, trained in Holland. She has worked with people on every social level and has worked with NATO.

Dawn is a mother of two amazing girls, and is completing an internship for personal business coaching and operates a birth pool rental service.