Dorian also has me so tired. We are teething...and crying (usually together) and we have just been having a rough go of it lately. He has decided that he HATES his car seat and now bows his spine and does some crocodile death roll to get out of it. This forces me to strong arm him in which neither of us enjoys. But what can you do? I have tried reasoning with him and saying no (which he finds hilarious). Any advice that does not include me strangling him or just throwing him in the trunk would be greatly appreciated. And I don't want any of those gee, my kid loves the car stories. I so don't need that right now. What I want to hear is that your child also behaved like a cat going into water and sprouted 15 arms and legs, screamed so loud you thought the neighbors would call the cops, and bit you with his two new teeth as a last resort. Then I want you to tell me the magic remedy you found that makes everything all sunshine and rainbows. Because my big bag of patience (okay, it was a little bag) is getting pretty low.

The other thing that makes me tired is co-parenting. I know that  my husband works all day long and now that they are short handed he's busting his ass even more, but hey, I need a break. I feel bad when he comes home and I just hand the kiddo off to him. I know he's tired and has had a rough day too. But this doesn't stop me from handing him Dori and running and hiding in the bathroom until the baby is asleep. Jeff does take him off my hands when he gets home but I end up washing bottles, doing laundry and what not and find the only ME time I get is at the grocery store buying formula at midnight. Still, like I said, I know Jeff is tired too.

And another thing that makes me tired, people telling me how awful it is that Dorian sleeps in the bed with us. Look, I know it's awful, okay, I'm the one getting kicked in the face all night and woken by the squirmy worm every 5 minutes. But to tell you the truth...I'm an adult and still petrified of the dark. I don't want him in his own bed let alone his own room so some spooky thing can hover over him and watch him while I'm not there. I know this is completely irrational and silly, especially in the day time. But at night, I really do worry about this right along side the idea that there could be a fire or a break in and I couldn't get to him first. So, be it nut job, fire, or Linda Fucking Blair, they should have to go through me first.

My son already has a bit of a reputation at the gymboree. He's a face pincher...and a biter...and well, kinda scary even to the big kids. Dorian and I were there today and one of the teachers that had never even met Dorian already knew who he was. And another teacher commented on how calm he was, you know, because he had yet to attack another one of the kiddos. He did eventually live up to his reputation and get physical with a kid or two, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been...really...   He gets this kind of aggression from both sides of his family, I'm afraid. Mommy and Daddy are both know for  their temper. It is inherent. We are not crazy with him but I'm sure he hears me in the car and then there was that one time he watched from his car seat as I chased some uppity woman into her car after verbally assaulting my sister. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Okay, it FELT good at the time. It so obviously upset Dorian to see me screaming and running after this bitch, no matter how much she deserved it. So, it appears I must grow up and modify my behavior. Try to persuade Dorian that he does not have to give into the angry little man living inside him even if that kid did just yank his maracas out of his hand. He really loves his maracas. God help you if you snatch one away.   I would be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little impressed that he stands up for himself and isn't afraid to let you know how he feels already. I mean, that's a really good thing. But how in the hell do you teach him to share and stand up for himself when an older kid snatches a toy away from him? How? Not to say that all (or even most) of his attacking episodes are provoked. No sir, they are mostly inflicted on an unsuspecting child. Which is super embarrassing and annoying. Some of the parents act like their kids are made of glass. These are rough and tumble kids, folks. If they can't take a bit of biting, face pinching and screeching in the face, keep them in their bubble at home. Not to say that I wouldn't be concerned if some kid got rough with Dori. I would go all Hand That Rock The Cradle on his ass. But a couple of kids there have bitch slapped Dori and I took it in stride. In fact, I thought it was good for him to be on the other side of the attack. Make him think twice before assaulting another kid. It didn't, but at least I was open to the option and learning experience, god damn it.   I'm tired, boys and girls. I'm tired and there is a basket of laundry that won't do itself no matter how many times I ask it and a mountain of bottles (mostly full...kids are wasters, man) that also will not wash themselves. Some days I am tempted to toss the whole lot of them and head to the store to start from scratch. But that entails packing the diaper bag, loading him in the car, unloading him, putting on the cart cover (because he likes to chew on the cart handles, much to my horror, so we always need a cart cover now), getting him through the store, paying the astronomical prices they charge for kids clothes and supplies (I feel like my bank account has been raped) and then I gotta carry gigantor and all the bags in because they also refuse to do it themselves. Considering all that, it's easier just to throw in the laundry and wash the bottles. At least I can do it in my pajamas.   I feel like a god damn one man band. And ask anyone who knows me, I've got crappy taste in music and no talent.

We enrolled Dorian in Gymboree classes. We did this to hopefully curb his love of slapping and biting other children. Perhaps with a little more consistent interaction with other children he will not appear to be raised by wolves.   So far he has only pinched one other child. He's only been to two classes so it's early in the game. He was, however, slapped in the face by two other children. One per class so I am sensing a theme. He deserved it and I didn't much mind. Dorian is usually the aggressor and he does tend to invade the personal space of other children. I thought it was a good idea he got to know how it felt to have someone (half) his size take a swing at him. He didn't much care for it and is now a little more cautious when he crawls into another little being's face and screeches hello.   It has been doing him good so far. I like the other mothers (or most of them) because the class is in NOT in Huntington Beach so they are a lot more down to earth. I like talking to people going through what I am, sort of. Ya know, you think you are going through a lot but when a room full of mother's asks if your child always has that much energy and you answer yes and they shudder and hug their child tighter, you know your situation sucks. Yes, my child is a ham, and loud, and the center of attention. I also call him Lenny because of the way he pets the kitty and approaches other children (Tell me about the rabbits....). But he's my boy and he crawls better, speaks better, and seems to be full of more life than any of the other kids in his class. He's the only one that ventures toward something new without prodding and he loves investigating the other mommies too. So, except maybe when he's up and ready to play at 2 in the morning (and again at 4 and then 6), I love his spirit. My body, however, could use a nap.....   So far, my favorite part of the Gymboree experience has been when we all got under the parachute with the kids and I got to watch my claustrophobic sister panic.... That was a hoot!