It is now 6:30am. I have been up since 4:30am because I had to take my parents to the international airport as they have a 7am flight to Bali. Lucky them.

It's off to work in an hour and take JB to daycare. S is in Ellenbrook babysitting for the night so thank goodness I don't have to worry about her until this afternoon.

I have an 8 hour work day ahead of me and I think I will have to live on caffeine all day. I am so not a morning person, I love my sleep. I love my bed. Oh I so want to go back to bed.

With only one wage now the savings are being depleted pretty fast. I am thinking of asking the boss if I can pick up some more hours at work. I am already doing 32 and 37 hour weeks but I am sure I can find some more hours there. This sucks having only one wage. R had better go and find another job soon or we will be cutting back dramatically. That will mean NO speedway for him!

I love my kids, but boy can they drive me nuts!

My middle child, S, is severly pushing my buttons. How can a child be so defiant and rude! I know I didn't raise her to be like this. S has always had a temper, ever since she was born, violent and uncontrolable outbursts that could last for minutes or hours. Now she is 13yrs old and I can't control her. Doors slam, outbursts of swearing, throwing objects and just complete nastiness. I am afraid for our little boy, JB, as he can cop a lot of nastiness from his sister just for looking at her. He is only 4yrs old and idolises his big sister.

I sit here sometimes and wonder if my family is falling apart and how to fix it. My mental health is suffering from all this stress and my Bi Polar and BPD are playing up a bit. I am trying so hard to keep everything and everyone together that I am finding it increasingly harder to keep me together.