be handy huh its a weird feeling having such a big event taken completely outta my control all i want to know is how my baby will arrive when wld be nice too lol...

im so fed up with all these contractions im sore from all the prodding the sweeps did work to some extent but that wld be tmi believe me...i have contractions back ache menstal like pains for about 12 hrs a day the other 12 im sleeping or peeing, even my eyes are sore from watching the dam clock constantly thinking ok here we go there getting worst ill time em then right on cue as i get myself all prepared they stop...i wake up every morning thinkng shit still here time to face anouther day...

after the hell this pregnancys been im not so sure 4 is a good idea its putting pressure on us all, even my sister pleaded with me to stop having babies after bailey shes a born mother why else wld she have 6 but nt one of her experiences comes close to mine and she can see what its doing to me, you expect to be physically drained what you dont bank on is the bad care the worry you cause your family and freinds but most of all what upsets me most is how much distance there is with me and mac at the moment,

bobbys desided to have the week off as he lost monday im bk in fri and to be honest i need him here mac needs him and hes loving it but now im being snubbed from the cuddles too i guess he sees daddy as his play mate at the moment were as mummys the crabby one ...true i am

so i cant wait for bailey to be here andgetting my little man bk too...

maybe then ill calm down im so mad at the care ive gt the fact no one lisened to what i wanted and now they have caused this situation after bobby will only have a week at home with me nt long enough for me to be able to care for mac properly so ill have help frm dawn my sis n my dad mostly...

but hey thankgod his mother works that wld really tk the buiscuit if i had her to deal with too...lol