This post is from from my other blog here

Alrighty, folks. This will be my last post on this here domain. In a month or so, I will be taking down the posts from this main site to give occasional visitors a chance to find out that I'm moving. If you're finding out about this for the first time, I'm moving to a new URL to become semi-anonymous. I'll still be using first names, but I wanted to get my name out of the actual domain name. Those of you who have emailed me for the new URL should hear from me tomorrow, if all my posts transfer to the new domain in the next 24 hours or so. We'll see.

I know it's probably inevitable that I'll lose some readers, and I want to thank everyone who's stopped by and taken the time to read my rambles and peruse my pictures. For those of you who don't know, this blog was started because of my tiny crush on Denison Witmer, and I had some photos from a show. It then grew to chronicle my coming to terms with losing my dad to pancreatic cancer back in spring of 2002. It then became a journal for my random thoughts, photos, and lots and lots of live music shows. And then came Ted. Then Cadence. And the rest is history, as they say.

It's not too late to email me at sarah[at]sarahjanerhee[dot]com for the new domain URL if you're a lurker. If you're a friend/someone who's commented regularly and I have your email address, I've already got you on my list.

Thanks again, and send positive thoughts towards the Blogger servers as I attempt to make my transfer!

Peace--
Sarah

This post is from from my other blog here

Alrighty, folks. This will be my last post on this here domain. In a month or so, I will be taking down the posts from this main site to give occasional visitors a chance to find out that I'm moving. If you're finding out about this for the first time, I'm moving to a new URL to become semi-anonymous. I'll still be using first names, but I wanted to get my name out of the actual domain name. Those of you who have emailed me for the new URL should hear from me tomorrow, if all my posts transfer to the new domain in the next 24 hours or so. We'll see.

I know it's probably inevitable that I'll lose some readers, and I want to thank everyone who's stopped by and taken the time to read my rambles and peruse my pictures. For those of you who don't know, this blog was started because of my tiny crush on Denison Witmer, and I had some photos from a show. It then grew to chronicle my coming to terms with losing my dad to pancreatic cancer back in spring of 2002. It then became a journal for my random thoughts, photos, and lots and lots of live music shows. And then came Ted. Then Cadence. And the rest is history, as they say.

It's not too late to email me at sarah[at]sarahjanerhee[dot]com for the new domain URL if you're a lurker. If you're a friend/someone who's commented regularly and I have your email address, I've already got you on my list.

Thanks again, and send positive thoughts towards the Blogger servers as I attempt to make my transfer!

Peace--
Sarah

This post is from from my other blog here

I hope you all had a lovely holiday however it was celebrated (or not). We've been busy, but we also enjoyed our time with our families.

I think this was the first time Cadence actually enjoyed the act of opening presents. Since we wanted to keep things simple and not so focused on presents, we only gave her one small gift to unwrap on Christmas morning at home. It was a wooden crocodile that I had bought at the Seeds of Change marketplace earlier in the month. Cadence had wanted it then, but I had bought her a giraffe already, so I bought it when she wasn't looking and saved it for her. And she totally remembered that it was the crocodile from church and immediately reunited it with her giraffe.

We stopped at my uncle's in the burbs on the way to Ted's parents' house. My mom was spending Christmas with them, so we got to see her too. My cousins Sherline and Debbie were there too, and it's always nice to spend time with them. I think they enjoy having a little kid's voice in the house, especially for the holidays.

It turned out to be a good thing that we only gave her the one gift in the morning since there were definitely a lot of presents with her name on it under Grandma and Grandpa's tree. See that big box with the snowflakes? That's from Great Grandma Carol, and there were no less than half a dozen entire outfits in there.

Ted's mom and his Aunt Martha made Christmas dinner, which was as lovely as it was delicious. Cadence was excited to sit down at the beautiful place setting, but when it actually came time to eat, she decided against it.

After a couple bites of pasta, she decided it was time for dessert but settled for an apple she found in the fruit bowl. Finally, someone left a tupperware full of Grandma's yummy cookies out unsupervised on the kitchen table, and Cadence was in heaven.

At least four cookies later, we were served Auntie Martha's homemade eggnog ice cream, and Cadence absolutely loved it. In fact, she traded one of the cookies she had in her fist to me for my last spoonful of ice cream. I think she must have had 10 cookies at least during the course of the evening. And about 20 minutes before we left, she found the bowl of gumdrops.

Cadence probably had a week's worth of sugar in a span of 3 hours. And this is the kid who when she opened up her present from Yia Yia and found a bag of M&Ms said, "Look! Snack!" and put the bag down uninterested. Had we told her it was chocolate, she would've made us open it up on the spot.

It was a nice time with the family, although we were missing Uncle Charles and Auntie Ali in Seattle, as well as Uncle Dave and Aunt Becki and Uncle Douglas and Auntie Lauren who were vacationing in Athens for Christmas.

Alright. I'm pooped. I've been back at work as of today, but at least it's a short week. We're still super busy trying to clean up the tornado that apparently blew through our condo during the holidays. We've got people coming over on Sunday so we don't have much of a choice. The good thing is that I remembered that there is a new Salvation Army Family Store that just opened up in our neighborhood, so we can give away a lot of our stuff and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, in 2008 we'll get a system of organization down. I guess I'd have to believe in miracles for that one to come true.

This post is from from my other blog here

It being Christmas this week and all, I guess I gotta post some Christmasy photos. I've actually been terribly busy and haven't had much time to lift up my camera, but we did go to the Daley Plaza downtown on Friday night to do some family oriented holidayesque stuff, so I can at least post a few of those shots.

It was a rather foggy night, which made the scene all the more dramatic with the spotlight effect of the extra bright streetlights.

There was actually a lot going on besides the big old blindingly bright tree. Cadence loved all the hustle and bustle, especially anything related to model trains, fake penguins and fake armadillos.

There was a German festival of sorts going on with a number of vendors selling everything from German chocolates to pastries to bratwurst to toys to ornaments galore.

This was definitely the place to be if you wanted Christmas ornaments. Or a $3,000 nativity scene.

It's been very busy around here, which is why I've been neglecting this here blog. Actually, I've been working on getting my new domain/blog up and running. It's pretty much ready to go now, I think, but I'll wait until the New Year to make a clean break of it.

See other folks' Best Shots on Tracey's first BSM at Mother May I.

This post is from from my other blog here

Our family has been attending Berry United Methodist Church for a little over 2 years now. We missed the first two weeks of Advent, but I brought my camera to church yesterday and I captured some shots.

One of the things I love about our church is how creative people are. Here's Matt. Not only is he the frontman for the much beloved indie rock band Anathallo, he is also a master at making origami flowers. He made a ton of them for our congregation to hang on our own version of the Jesse Tree to symbolize this week's advent theme of Joy.

I also love the fact that our pastor, Sherrie Lowly, dances with the kids during the service just about every Sunday. Here she is doing laps while dancing with Cadence and Rudden. I've met few pastors who are as compassionate and mindful of children as they are of the adults in the congregations as Sherrie is.

We may not be a large congregation, but I love the warmth and openness and humility i see in the folks who do show up on a regular basis. I've learned so much from being in their midst.

I am so thankful to have found a community where I feel like I can lay down roots, where I know the arms of welcome will be open wide to anyone and everyone, whether they be agnostic with Taoist sensibilities, a recovering evangelical still full of doubts and questions, or a boisterous 3 year old who can't sit still. Most churches these days make me feel downright uncomfortable, so to have found one that feels like home is not something to sneeze at.

Go see other folks' Best Shots on Tracey's Picture This.

This post is from from my other blog here

Our little friend Caely turned 4 this week, and we partook of the festivities at Chucky Cheese. I admit I was scared to go, but Cadence would never have forgiven me if she knew I kept her home from an opportunity to eat CAKE.

When we first got to the party, Cadence was scared of the giant robotic animals on stage, and she begged to go back home. Once those robotic furry creatures started dancing and performing, however, she decided they were harmless, and before the night was over she got pretty chummy with Chucky himself.

There were a lot of kids there that we didn't know, but Cadence's friends Rudden and Baby Jack and Zane were there, as were my friends, their moms, so it was fun to hang out amidst the chaos of singing robotic stuffed animals, video arcades, rides and a vast array of little toys and prizes.

My favorite activity, though, had to be the Sketch Booth. It was kinda like a photobooth, except that Chucky Cheese (a computerized version, and just his hand at that) himself would sketch a picture of you from a snapshot taken in the booth. Amy and I had a hard time getting the kids' heads in the camera frame, which resulted in this funny series. I think that's Zane's hand in the middle photo.

The kids are all growing up so fast...Baby Jack was just about to be conceived when Ted and Cadence and I started attending Berry Church where we met these families. Now he's toddling around everywhere. Cadence wasn't even walking at the time...I'm just glad she's got some friends who really feel like family to her, and I look forward to many more birthday parties to come. Even ones at Chucky Cheese.

This post is from from my other blog here

As some of you may know, I did not grow up in a family that decorated Christmas trees. So it should come as no surprise to you that I had no idea what to do once we got our tree home. Ted, who DID grow up in a family that did Christmas trees, was somewhat of a help, but as this was his very first tree as the DAD, it wasn't entirely obvious to him either as to how to proceed. We managed to get the lights on, as you saw in the previous post, but we weren't sure what to do about a garland. So for the first couple days, the tree just sat there, as you can see in the sad photo above. But not for long!

As you can see, we managed to decorate the tree just fine. We settled on a ribbon garland, and although it took a couple tries, I think Ted did a good job. We had just enough ornaments, mostly ones from Ted's Grandma Yia Yia, who helps out with a Christmas Bazaar every year. I absolutly love the kitschy stuff! Here are some of my favorites:

Here's that lonely covered wagon ornament from the top photo. As you can see, it's got some company now.

The Foam Snowman. A total classic, especially with the tiny crocheted hat and scarves and sequins for buttons.

The Stuffed Granny Boot. We have this in red too. Ted's favorite, and one of mine too.

The Gingerbread House. Looks yummy enough to eat.

And then there's the friendly ghost with the not-quite-James-Dean coiffure. Or is it a cloud? Or a marshmallow? Does it matter? Probably not.

Then there's the adorable rollerskate. Love those little tiny button wheels! This is so much cuter than the rollerskates I had as a kid.

Check out the three-headed Santa. Funny thing is my high school friend Ed saw this in my Flickr stream and informed me that his parents got this same ornament from their church bazaar. Weird!

By the date on this one, I'd say it's older than some of you reading this post.

Here's a trio of ornaments. The heart one on the right is actually something I picked up at the Seeds of Change marketplace. A woman (I think her name is Erin?) made these out of scraps from clothes she didn't want any more. That got me thinking about making some of my own...I haven't had any success, yet, I can tell you that.

And here is my favorite, y'alls. Is that robot rad or WHAT?! I can't believe Yia Yia's been holding onto this all these years!

There are many more ornaments, and I have to say they look awesome on our tree. Not Martha Stewart awesome (*GAG!*), but my kind of awesome.

Our next step is to make a popcorn garland. I think maybe with cranberries. So the saga continues...

This post is from from my other blog here

I normally wouldn't post a photo of myself because I usually hate my own photos, but I kinda like this one. I took it on our hayride yesterday at the Pioneer Tree Farm in McHenry, IL, a place where you can get organically grown Christmas Trees for the great flat price of $35.

And here are Cadence and Ted sitting across from me on our hayride. Cadence wasn't so sure about the bitterly cold winds, but once that wagon started bump, bump, bumping along, she was happy as a clam.

She was kinda more interested in finding pine cones than a Christmas tree, and there were a few times when she almost threw a fit amongst the trees, but I was determined NOT to ruin the experience of getting our very first Christmas tree, so I didn't give up on our search for "the perfect tree."

I finally found a tree that was just right. It may not be the most perfectly shaped tree in the world, but that's what makes it perfect for me. Ted had mixed feelings about cutting down a live tree, but when he actually put blade to tree trunk, it came down pretty fast. Well, I just hope it wasn't a Talking Tree...

And here's that same tree in our living room. It's the perfect size for our big window. We haven't decorated it yet, but I have a box of handmade Christmas kitsch ornaments from Yia Yia and her friends who run a Christmas bazaar every year, so I think our tree's gonna look mighty fine once we're done with it.

Go see other folks' Best Shots on Tracey's Picture This.

This post is from from my other blog here

Orange, pink and purple. These were Mallory's favorite colors because they were the colors of the sunset. I found out this morning that my friends Chris and Lee's 7 year old daughter Mallory died Sunday morning. She was waiting for a new set of lungs because of complications from cystic fibrosis. I knew the situation had been critical for the past few weeks, but when I checked up on their journal this morning and read the latest post titled "Memorial Service and Reception," it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I broke down and wept.

I didn't know Mallory too well, but I've known her parents for 15 years. Her dad Chris used to bring in a lot of different musical acts to the coffeehouses that my old church used to put on. That's how I got into listening to indie music, and as you can imagine, I feel that I owe a great debt to Chris for that alone.

In reading Mallory's mom Lee's blog posts the past few months, I've been impressed at how strong the whole family has been through this ordeal. As a mom, I was particularly impressed with Lee's ability to write with optimism and hope while at the same time not hiding the seriousness of what they were experiencing. I know a lot of the grief I am feeling now is empathy for Lee, just because I'm a mom too.

We woke up today to a fresh blanket of snow, deep enough to play in. There's something indescribably beautiful about waking up to snow, especially the first snow of the season that sticks around for more than a few hours. Cadence made her first snow angel today. This is a big step for a kid who refused to even step in the snow last winter.

I made a snow angel too, and as I lay in the soft, cold snow, flapping my arms and legs and looking up at the deep blue conciliatory sky, I thought of Mallory...

This post is from from my other blog here

Well, Cadence kept telling me that when all the leaves fell off the branches, that the snow would come. Looks like she was right. We were totally taken off guard when we exited the Seeds of Change marketplace at church on Saturday afternoon.

It's too bad it only lasted all of three hours when the freezing rain and sleet started coming down and turned everything into slush and ice before it all melted away during the night.

That's okay, though. Even though we enjoyed it for only a few minutes before we had to get in the car to pick up Ted from work, the looks of total glee and wonderment on Cadence's face were so worth it.

Go visit other folks' best shots on Tracey's Picture This.

This post is from from my other blog here

Our church, Berry UMC, is part of the Chicago Fair Trade coalition, and yesterday was our semi-annual Seeds of Change marketplace, a fair for local artisans to sell their products as well as other fair trade vendors to sell goods from around the world.

There were also performances during the event, including WNEP Theater's Soireé DADA. Cadence was a bit puzzled and quite captivated by the trio of white-faced decked out DADAists walking, dancing, singing, shouting and otherwise soireé-ing around customers and vendors alike.

This is whole different take on DADA than what we're used to in our family, where DADA generally refers to TED.

Anyhoo, it was a very enjoyable day, and there seemed to be a pretty good-sized turnout, despite the snowy then rainy weather. Our friends Jenn and John and Ada showed up too, so Cadence had someone to play with for a couple hours. I found some really cool ornaments made by a woman named Erin (I think) who used scraps of clothes she didn't want anymore. It's got me thinking I'd like to do some stitching of my own. We're hoping to get a Christmas tree this year, so we'll be needing some ornanments. It'll be Cadence's first tree, and I think she's gonna love it, considering one of her favorite books is about these teddy bears who go and find a Christmas tree, bring it home and decorate it.

I didn't have a Christmas tree growing up because my dad believed that it was a pagan symbol. I was always embarrassed that our family was so different, and I knew some of my classmates thought I was weird. I guess that's why I want so much for our family to have a Christmas tree. I want Cadence to have memories of going to a tree farm and picking a tree, of playing Sufjan's Songs for Christmas while decorating the tree, of making our own ornaments and decorations for the tree. You know--normal, wholesome memories.

I guess you could say I'm planting my own little seeds of change in my family.

This post is from from my other blog here

This little photo is for Modrá J. He'll understand. No one else has to.

"Now--here is my secret: I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God--that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love.

I walk deeper and deeper into the rushing water. My testicles pull up into myself. the water enters my belly button and it freezes my chest, my arms, my neck. It reaches my nouth, my nose, my ears and the roar is so loud--this roar, this clapping of hands.

These hands--the hands that heal; the hands that hold; the hands we desire because they are better than desire.

I submerge myself in the pool completely. I grab my knees and I forget gravity and I float within the pool and yet, even here, I hear the roar of water, the roar of clapping hands.

These hands--the hands that care, the hands that mold; the hands that touch the lips, the lips that speak the words--the words that tell us we are whole."--From Life After God by Douglas Coupland, 1994.

(I've had this post as a draft from Sept. 30th. I thought now would be a good time to post it. I added the quote today because I had just reread it a couple days ago, and I love that passage so very much. It's part of my unraveling, just a little bit. Know that you are loved, Modrá.)