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My 4 yr. old just coined a new word, she was eating her pomegranate and said it was 'YUMMINEY-FRESH' and tasty...so 'yumminey' is the new word... |
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That is a question I have been asking myself for sometime now, why blog? What is the purpose of putting out there in public what is most on your mind? I have been having a struggle with this...so again I ask, why blog?
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I thought some of you may get a chuckle at this...I am a Newfoundlander, therefore I am also considered a 'NEWFIE'...these do not offend me because I know where I come from and what I am about, also I have the ability to laugh at myself if warranted so on that now I hope all y'all enjoy this.... Newfie Medical Dictionary...
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die
Benign - What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - Searching for Kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - Nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumor - One plus one more
Urine - Opposite of you're out
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Cancel your credit card before you die..........
Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange :
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau; maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given.)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given.)
After they get the fax :
Citibank : 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???
(Priceless!!)
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What is imagination, Mommy? How do you explain it to a three year old? Well, imagination is sort of like pretend...but sometimes you can imagine things that can become real.
Like what mommy? OK, let's imagine that you are playing on the beach then mommy and daddy take you there, then what you imagined becomes real.
I'm not going to imagine that I'm sleeping 'cause then you will make me go to bed.
I think she grasped it...wow, I love these conversations with my little girl. She went from that to asking me about black holes...I asked her what kind of black holes, she says the ones in the universe. I asked her what she knows about them and she said they swallow all the light.
Before she went to bed she asked her dad to teach her how to punch like a boy...he asked why she wants to know this...'Because Aiden ( a little boy in her read-to-me program) asked her to be his girlfriend'...she told her dad she would rather punch him...OMG, it has started and very early too me thinks.
Orroo(?) and Salut!
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