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 Member » smsjs
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Hi,
My name is Damon, and I'm JacSmollen's partner. We have been together for almost 9 years now, and closer now than ever. I am step Dad to Jac's 3 kids, which is a challenge in its own. During the time we have been together, we have grown quite close as a family, with all the usual teen angst and parental issues that any normal family would have to endure.
Being a parent to these incredible kids has totally change my life and the way I approach it. Being a parent is a huge, mixed up bag full of emotions. I tell you though, I would not trade it for the world. I have learned how to be patient, tolerant, diplomatic and caring. My life has changed for the better since I took on the challenge of becoming a step Dad. Jac and I fully support each other with regards to parenting our kids.
Often we have a difference of opinion, but always make sure we both talk about these differences and work out ways to facilitate each others beliefs. After all, two heads, two ideas and a way to connect both is much better than one. We often need to make snap decisions when pressured by the kids, and usually what either of us decides on these occasions is backed up by the person who was not there at the time. We are well in tune with each others ideas, beliefs and parenting methods, which makes it so easy to support each others decisions.
Step parenting is not easy, I have to say, but it is just as rewarding as being a normal parent.
**More to follow later**
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I noticed that an account created today called Wonderplant , and is shamelessly advertising the products and company I represent..This account looks like a spam bot, only created to spam the forum..
It has nothing to do with me, and is no one I know. The Forever Living Products company does not condone the spamming of forums as an advertising strategy.
Please do not associate me with that account.......Thanks!
By the way, I reported the account to the Minti Admin for this shameless act..... |
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In recognition of Remembrance day and all that this day reminds us of, I wrote this poem in 1995 (I was only 22) after being moved by a documentary about war, in particular WWI. I wrote it from a first person perspective, which is a challenge, because of my age and not being born then, or involved with warfare. I want to share it with you all, because it still makes me feel all emotional when I read it...I have given copies of this to a few old veterans, and they all have told me that it was a good piece of poetry.. Anzac Spirit
I sit in our dugout, with sandbags all around
I wait for the explosion, as a shell comes whistling down
I feel the ground beneath me, shudder, shake and lurch
I sat and brushed off the dirt, thanked god I wasn’t hurt
I hear the men around me, yell and shriek and cry
Calling out obscenities like, piss off you bloody sly’s
I ran out from my little hole, only to find my best mate dead
The poor little bastard, caught shrapnel with his head
I put him in a body bag, and zipped him up real tight
At least he got his dream, he’s going home tonight
The day is getting colder and starting to get dark
Then began the fire fight, which I wish was just a lark
I watch the men around me, fight for all they’re worth
All the while they’re wishing, they were not from on this earth
Nearly six hours later, I copped one in the back
Lord knows all I wanted, is to go and have a crap
It ripped right through my backbone and tore out through my front
A couple of seconds later, I began to moan and grunt
Soon came the medics, who came and picked me up
With the jab of a needle, they really drugged me up
The next thing I remember, is waking up in a bed
With the feelings of a dozen hammers, smashing at my head
The doc’s said I would never walk, as the bullet cut my spine
But I didn’t really believe them, I just thought I needed time
That was Nineteen Fifteen, so many years ago
Nowadays I am really proud, of how fast my chair can go
The only regret I ever had, was watching my mates get killed
But now I sit and salute them, for my heart is filled
With that mighty ANZAC spirit, thriving within my chest
Remembering all those soldiers, who fought their very best.
RIP boys, your mate-ship, pain and sacrifices will be remembered forever.. |
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Before I start I need to mention that this is only a summary of my thoughts and feelings towards this issue. I am trying to open your eyes and suggest a few reasons that this phenomena is on such a sharp rise.
Some of my views might be a little blunt and confronting, but in no way am I trying to make anyone feel silly or incapable of parenting properly. I include myself in this call for parents to change their ways, as I too am guilty of failing to do what has to be done......that is until a few years ago when it suddenly became clear to me with regards of what I had to do to protect my kids.
I am motivated to write this piece, because in the last 6 months there have been 3 teen suicides in my community, directly related to the discussion I'm about to have with you all.
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Teen anxiety is on the rise these days, with more teens suffering from it
than ever before.
24/7 contact with their peers is wholly responsible for all this. Years back, our teens had the time away from their friends while at home. No internet, no mobile phones, texting or emails. The only contact was either face to face or over the landline.
Now there is 24/7 contact available, so any issues that the kids ordinarily face at school, within friendship groups is now extended to within the family home at any time of day and night. This means there is no break from problems and pressures or abuse associated with hormonal and angry teens making mountains out of molehills.
You think about it, once upon a time any peer pressure was basically isolated to school and social visits. Once the kids were home, there was no more contact with these pressures and they were able to de-stress and let it go for the rest of the afternoon/night and get a good rest. Family discussions were always held over dinner time, and everyone's days were discussed. Now there is no respite from the pressure or bullying, because computers and mobile phones provide non stop access to their friends. Therefore there is no rest from the pressures that the social groups our kids are part of. With no respite, they eventually crack up and develop extreme anxiety or depression.
As parents, we need to set firm ground rules within our families and homes. We need to limit the hours spent texting, and on the computer, to protect our kids from these rising anxiety issues. We need to provide a space for our kids to relax, and not be pressured from outside sources. The family home is the ideal place to start.
Break the cycle, don't be afraid to place limits on the availability of the computer/internet and mobile phones while at home. Remember these objects are luxuries, not god given rights. If all parents were to be responsible for their child's well being, they would toughen up, act like parents and not allow the kids to get whatever they want, whenever they want it.
You are parents...you have to step up and be strong. Yes it is hard, it sometimes feels bad, but in the end you have to do it. Your kids mental state depends on you taking charge and protecting them from themselves. Of course they will argue that you are being nasty, and that so-and-so up the road allows their kids to do whatever....But in the long and short of it you are protecting your kids. These days, kids are granted way to much weight in the running of a household. For heavens sake, they are only kids and like it or not they have not got the life experience to make sound decisions and do what is right for them. They might feel like they know better, but the fact that things like teen anxiety and depression are on the rise......makes me think that modern day parents need totake back the parental reigns and toughen the heck up.
Sorry to be blunt here but our laziness and lack of correct parenting is wholly responsible for the mental state of our kids.
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Now I mentioned in the beginning that there have been 3 teen suicides in recent months here in my community. All 3 were young teens (14-16) and 3 suicides were attributed directly with peer pressure and cyber bullying.
You see, all 3 teens were very popular kids, all with bright futures. They all had a few things in common;
The School they attended
All were being bullied via text messages and random Mobile phone calls.
All were being bullied on Facebook and or Myspace blog sites.
Each of them had families that gave them everything they wanted.
The 24/7 nature of the bullying lead them to having no time to de-stress and allow the pressure to diffuse. Having a typical family life, with both parents working there was little support for them at home (Although the parents got along really well wit their kids and loved them dearly).
As with most kids, they never spoke to their parents about the problems they were facing, the parents never knew about the blog sites they were part of and never knew of any pressures or bullying. Because the kids didn't talk with their parents, there was no discussion about how people were feeling or cries for help. The pressure from their peers kept on 24/7, bombarding them at all hours with text messages, hate messages on Myspace and other blog sites. The pressure got so great, and the abuse so painful that they felt no option but to end it all. I truly believe that we need to seriously limit our kids exposure to the internet and mobile phones. We need to set time limits on the computers and set a time of the evening where mobile phones have to be switched off and placed into a designated position in the house and left there until they actually walk out the door to go to school the next day. Weekends you set a slightly different access time for both phone and computer.
In any case, parents need to realize that they are parents, and need to actually spend time with the kids we created. Support, dedication and guidance...no matter how hard it is, or how nasty your kids thing you are, it the key to this problem. Us parents need to invest more time into raising our kids and less time into doing things for ourselves. We have the rest of our lives to do stuff for ourselves, after our kids have grown up and left home.
Parenting is full time 24/7 responsibility. Parents have to be firm yet fair with their kids and take responsibility for their care and upbringing. Just because your kids think you are unfair or mean, does not make you a bad parent. If you are doing everything within your power to care for your kids...you are doing the right thing.
After all, what teenage child really knows what is best for them? Heck, there are plenty of adults out there who still don't know what is best for themselves!
If there are any Minti members wishing to add to this discussion, feel freed to say something. With the help of the members here, we might not only be able to open a few eyes, we might be able to reduce the depression and anxiety problems with our kids through learning how to better support and guide them.
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Aloe Vera Drinking Gel is made by Forever Living Products, a world wide company that is in 139 countries. The products Forever produces are sold via distributors like myself that are keen on helping others become healthy.
Aloe Vera Drinking Gel is regarded as one of the greatest health drinks there ever has been. Made from 100% crushed and stabilized Aloe Vera, it contains over 200 essential compounds including, 20 minerals, 18 Amino acids and 12 vitamins essential to the human body. Don’t even try to compare it to the Aloe drinks in the Health shops or supermarkets; they have a maximum of 15% Aloe, rehydrated from a powder. The dehydration process removes many of the minerals and vitamins, and kills the amino acids that give it its amazing power.
Aloe Vera has many medicinal properties which we can benefit from. Aloe Vera is:
Anti Inflammatory aiding the soothing of your throat, stomach, intestines and colon
Anti bacterial
Has pain killing properties
Supports the immune system
Is a Cell stimulant, i.e. it stimulates cell growth and repair, especially collagen and Elastin
Hydrates your body at a cellular level, aiding the body to hydrate inside and out
Contains 20 minerals and 12 vitamins
Aids dental health and hygiene through stimulating gums to be healthy and the antibacterial properties aid in controlling bacteria
Detox’s our body, by forcing out the chemicals and built up plaque within your digestive system.
Not only medicinal, it is regarded as a good food source. Its chemical makeup is very similar to the plasma in our blood; therefore your liver can utilize its nutrients easily and effectively. By soothing your digestive system, cases of reflux are reduced and often stopped altogether.
Its hydrating ability hydrates our bodies from the inside out, starting with our digestive system and liver. Did you know that from the age of 10 we begin building up plaque inside our intestines and colon? Well Aloe Vera hydrates this built up and hard compressed plaque and we are able to pass it out during our normal bowel functions. Aloe can seriously reduce the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome because of its anti inflammatory and analgesic effect.
With our digestive system and liver hydrated, the next thing Aloe does is stimulate the repair and relining of the mucosa within our intestines and colon. This means that we now can absorb more nutrients from the foods we eat. Within a few days of drinking aloe Vera Drinking Gel, you will notice that you have more energy, feel lighter on you feet and after a few weeks, your skin will begin to glow. This is because one of the effects of good hydration and good digestive function is a clearing up of the skin. Your skin will begin to feel softer and more elastic, blemishes begin to lessen (sometimes disappearing all together) and you might even start having people telling you on the street that you look positively radiant…I know my wife does (and she really hates that…yeah right J).
In the case of Caeliac Disorder (Allergy to Gluten), symptoms will be greatly reduced if you drink 200-300ml twice daily. The horrible inflammation of the digestive system is relieved and the pain eases when drinking the Aloe gel. If you accidentally ingest (eat) any gluten products, drink 100ml as soon as you can. This will boost the effect of the aloe and assist a rapid relief of the symptoms. Note: this is not a cure, it just assists in greatly easing the symptoms of the disorder.
I won’t lie to you; the Gel does taste a little bit bitter and waxy at first. This is because our bodies are highly acidic and need the toxins flushed out. The more bitter the taste, the more you really need to get drinking. After a few weeks, aloe begins to taste sweeter and more palatable; I’m at the point where it tastes incredibly sweet. If you wish to purchase this awesome Drinking Gel please visit http://www.jsmollenmassage.myflpbiz.com.
Once there you will need to register an account, add your personal details (which are kept strictly private), and create a username and password.
Once you have an account ready, you are able to go shopping. Simply follow these directions:
- Click on Shop now, and a new window will open asking you to click on the country that you live in.
- Browse through the products, selecting the ones you want to appear in your cart, (Aloe Vera Drinking Gel is in the drinks section)
- Go to the checkout, where you will preview your order and click the checkout again.
Your order will then be dispatched within 2 to 3 working days, with you receiving the goods within a week if the postal system is running properly. I hope this information is helpful and that you find that you can benefit from this awesome drink. We also have other products that will provide you with even more health boosting benefits, all designed by nature and 100% natural. From Bee pollen (Nature Multivitamin and energy boost) to skin care and make up products to detox/weight loss and management programs. If you want to know more about any of the products you see, please let me know and I’ll give you all the information you need. If you live within 1 to 1 ½ hours of Geelong, we can organise a product party to share these awesome products with you and your friends.
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