I have decided enough is enough. My ever ballooning weight that is. I am going to start doing things right, one day at a time, one kilogram at a time one glass of water at a time. I am weighing more at the moment than I did at full term with Keira.

I have always been one of the more curvy girls around and have long made peace with the fact that Janice Dickenson will not come knocking on my door. And I like myself that way. Do not think I hate myself or loathe my body, I am just not that impressed with it at the moment. Curvy has turned into very, very curvy... going towards shapeless clothes that I Hate!

So I want to lose about 20 kgs (around 48 pounds) for the following reasons:

1. I want to be healthy, I am currently a high risk case for heart disease, diabetes 2 or stroke (given the fact that my mom suffered a serious, debilitating stroke at age 55  - I should be aware)

2. I want to be a good example to my girls regarding healthy eating habits, exercise and longevity.

3. I want to get fitter and lose the flab

4, I want to fit into my lovely clothes again

5.. Looking better does impact the way that other people look at you, perceive your talents or treat you - I want to be a storming success at what I do and dropping the weight will help (not the determining factor - but it will help)

6. My husband adores me, just the way I am, but I think he will be so very proud and of course supportive with this journey. I want to live up to his rosy view of me...

7. I want to be a good mom, partner, employee and the best person I can be - by not looking after myself and my health I am failing on this mission

So there - my seven reasons for losing the weight. What now?

1. I have decided that even if I only do 1 thing right/ start to change 1 behaviour a day, it is a step forwards and not backwards. Right now I have poured myself 1 cup of water as I have already had 1 cup of coffee and 1 cup of tea and will not allow myself another tea/coffee until I have drunk another cup of water. I never drink water, but today I aim to to drink 2 cups. And if I can drink 2 cups of water today, I can do it tomorrow and start adding more glasses a day until I am at 8 glasses of water.
2. I have also started a food diary - I am writing everything down that I am putting into my mouth with their respective breakdowns (proteins/carb/fat content). It is scary when you start logging what you eat - all those hidden calories...
3. I am joining Weight Watchers tomorrow. There is a group around the corner of my work, so I have no excuses and I know that I do better if I have a certain goal and a set of rules to run with. Not too restrictive - but some clear groundrules and a coach..
4. I have to start doing some kind of exercise. We have a gym in our building, so I am thinking I can do a workout during my lunchtime, we also have a lot of exercise videos at home, maybe it is better to get up early and do a dance workout? Will have to find out what will happen (it is very cold and dark here in the mornings - middle of winter)

So, I will keep on blogging  but have set myself a date to reach a  10 kg (24 pounds) loss: 13 Sept (my hubby's birthday). Anybody with some great advice, tips etc - please drop in send me your thoughts...

- Some things to keep in mind - SA is not a safe environment - I cannot go and jog/cycle by myself early in the morning. I can maybe do it with my big dogs, but will have to get some mace as well to keep me safe. I love dancing, so I am thinking that as soon as I have lost 5 kg's I can reward myself with ballet/jazz/hip hop classes.

God bless to all of you...

I have a three year old and a 8 year old, both imho pretty amazing perfect kids. Until last week I thought the teachers at my youngest school were of the same mind. Then it was the parent/teachers conference where I was told that Keira is not doing so well, she has a lack of gross motor skills, not independent enough and apparently very quiet and non-communicative (towards the teachers, not her mates) in class. NOT the child I know at home - she chats non-stop, is game to go out at any time and does not mind new places and things, in fact I sometimes have to look for her when we go shopping.

So now I am off to buy a balance ball, as soon as I get my bonus I am buying a trampoline and some whiskey (trampoline for her, whiskey for me) and looking into kiddies yoga/pilates classes. Which may also cost me a fortune.

She is also constantly complaining of stomach ache and after seeing a homeopath/gp this morning we are going to have to do some blood tests to see if she is gluten intolerant (like her dad).

To top it all off, we stay in the crime capital of the world, so I have had an attempted break in on our property this morning. See why I need the whiskey?

It is funny, I can deal with the bloodtests and even the bastards trying to break-in, but the kindergarten report is killing me. You see I can fix the other two - bloodtests will hurt a little bit but it will give us clarity, I can put up an electric fence, move my big dogs to the front of the property, get panic buttons and an alarm system to deal with the baddies - but what do I do about her anti-social, insecure, quiet behaviour? And why does it feel as though the kindergarten teachers do not love her as much as they should? It is as if she irritates them in stead of being loved. There is one teacher there that has kind eyes when she talks about her, the others I don't know... maybe I am just sensitive,maybe just sad.

It is also not so easy as just to move her to another school. This is an excellent Montesorri school, her older sister is going to the primary school, it is close to home and she has been exposed to a LOT of changes over the past 6 months: we moved from another town to johannesburg, the 1st place we stayed  here in joburg we encountered numerous problems with our landlord and decided to move to another house in the area - thus 2 moves in 6 months, new school etc. I think maybe I must just let settle in and she will show them what a spectacular kid she is.

And she really is - she smiles all the time, sings all the time and even when she is desperately sick she just becomes silent - not demanding. She just takes her time before she trusts people. Until then I will do exercises with her to improve gross motor skills and hope this nagging feeling that they don't really love her goes away.. Because shouldn't your child's teachers really love them? especially in kindergarten? or am i an idealist? all these questions...