I have not been on minti for quite sometime and feel like this is some place I can go for advice from real people. My husband and I are doing so well.  We are happier than we have been in our 5 year marriage.  He feels like he can tell me anything and I trust him like never before.  I now know if he wanted to leave, he would...he would not put me or our kids or himself through hanging around and being a husband if he did not want to be...we go on at least one date a week.  Since the boys are gettign bigger (almost 4, 2 and 9 months), I have a sitter that I can trust and does so well with the boys.  I am also going back to work--I just got a teaching job at a middle school only 20 miles from our house.  I am so excited!  Ben is so happy for me and the kids rae excited about going to daycare--I had them enrolled before I even had a job.  This is the first time since I have been married to Ben that I really feel things are going our way.  Our kids are happy, we are happy, we both now have great jobs, we have a 3500 square foot house...I tear up just thinking about how our lives have changed in the last couple of months.  I love my life--and I do not know how long it has been since I have said that!

It has been awhile since I posted a blog...but so much has happened...it got so bad that my husband had an appointment with an attorney to file for divorce.  That was Friday--but he canceled at the last minute and has finally made the decision he wants to be a good dad and a respectable husband.  This morning was the first time he told me he loved me in 3 months.  This is the first time in the last 3 months that I feel like my marriage is going in the right direction.  I hope he means it this time.  I would do anything for my husband, and have put up with way too much from him.  But i love him so much, he is my husband...and who would I be if I did not give him one last changce to prove himself to me and our children?  I am getting ready to go to bed, he is on a 4 day trip for work, but oddly enough, I trust him more today than I ever have. 

Okay...my husband left yesterday for work-he is an airline Captain.  He will not be home until Tuesday night.  I hate when he leaves.  Not only is it hard being the only one taking care of the children...but Ben has made soem bad choices on a more than a few occasions since we have been married.  Not giving him excuses, but more times then not alcohol was involved.  He has never slept with anyone else, but it is inappropriate conversation and not saying he is married and things of that nature.  I am trying to trust him while he is gone.  Even though he is at work he still meets people everywhere.  For example, he is done with work today at noon...but he will eat lunch and dinner at a bar down from the hotel--he is staying in a tiny town in IL.  I am trying not to call him and check his where abouts every hour and it is hard.  If I could stay out of the bathroom for more than 20 minutes, that would be nice.  I just get so nervous.  I try to keep my mind off things with the kids...but right now it is not working.  I am getting ready for baths this morning...and my 18 month old screams when he gets out...he wants to stay in all day, even when he is turning purple--so I am dreading that.   My sister stayed at a friends house-which I am glad...the kids are not quiet in the morning and, of course, they have not heard of sleeping in.  She has been talkign to her ex-fiance some this week.  He has a 5 year old little girl.  She came over to play with my oldest yesterday.  They had a good time...Okay, so I think I am going to go wake up the baby (3 1/2 months and he rolled over yesterday-twice) and feed him.  Then give him a bath and bath the other 2 as well....Have a good one!

So, if youhave read my info, I am married and have 3 small boys.  Well, my younger sister, 23, broke up with her fiance on New Year's Eve...before all of the fun night time stuff of the New Year.  Our older brother has a small 3 bedroom house, a wife, and a new baby.  Our younger brother just moved to off to college yesterday...so she can't go back home and live with mom and dad and be the only offspring there.  So, she calls her good ole' big sister.  We have a 4 bedroom, 3500 sq. ft. house.  We do have lots of room...but with 3 little ones.  Anyway, I am a big sucker and want to help her out...so she moved in on Wednesday.  She teaches 3rd grade so she does have a job and make okay money...but one more mouth to feed--literally.  Cooking dinner now for 6-including myself!  If I can squeeze in it!  I am so exhausted!  And Ben is on a trip for work for the next 4 days!  AAHHHH!!!