Baby’s Birth Date: 14 March 2006

Birth Story: I visited my lay midwife on Saturday. I’d been having contractions all morning, but no serious ones. I was checked and dilated to a 5. I thought this must be the day! I continued ALL that day, but right around bedtime they stopped. Nothing the next day and only a little activity on Monday. Finally, Tuesday morning around 5:30am things started going. I stayed in bed to get my rest and just deal with it. I told my husband and friend who came from out of town to assist in our birth, to just leave me alone. I had a notebook and pen and a clock by my bed. I would write the times down and let them evaluate them later. I did that until about noon and they decided it was time to get the midwives to the house.

Just around that time I went to the bathroom and when I wiped, it didn’t feel right. My husband checked and it didn’t look right. It didn’t look like cord or baby. Our midwife asked if we wanted to transport or wait for her to arrive and check things out. We decided to wait for her to check on it. So I went into the head and knees position on my bed and waited for over 40 minutes for her to arrive and check. She discovered nothing out of the ordinary. It had corrected itself (later we realized I had developed a prolapsed cervix due to multiple births and large babies). But I was dilated to a 10 and could push anytime. She told me to not worry about rushing, but to do what my body felt like doing. Brilliant advice considering when I got into the birthing tub my labor came to a screeching halt. I had maybe four mild contractions every hour for 2 hours. My husband ordered pizza for everyone and when the delivery guy was at the door asked if we were having a birthday party. He said “Yes, as a matter of fact!” After my 2 hour rest, my body decided it was time to get back to work. I had very little to no urge to push the entire time. I HATED to have to get out of the tub. The contractions would hit me one after another. I stayed in for all checks and monitoring.

I remember getting tired and asked for a pillow, which my husband put on my shoulder. It was distracting to have one shoulder warm and the other cold and it felt wonderful when my husband rested his hand on my other shoulder so I told him to leave it there. Which, of course, he did. I did 2 hours of this work until I felt this great urge to push so I turned over into a sitting position where everyone was now able to see the bag of waters bulging out. One push the bag breaks and there’s my baby’s head seriously crowning. I pushed again and his head was born. I stopped for a minute and touched his SO soft hair. The very next contraction he was born and I lifted him up onto my chest. He gently coughed and snuggled up with me. NO crying.

Side note: I’m terribly indecisive about names so I gave my husband a couple that I really liked for a boy and a girl and told him he could pick from my choices. After I delivered, he told me I had earned the right to name him. So, what was it going to be? Well, I didn’t WANT to be the one to pick. I said I didn’t know and to pick one. So he turns the camera toward my 7 year old son who was sick on the couch and asked him what we should name him. He blurts out “Jason”. Did I mention THAT wasn’t one of the choices!!! They ask if that’s ok and I say, “Sure”. And that’s what we stuck with. Jason was 9lbs even.

Please visit www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/blog to read more about home birth stories and experiences.

Baby’s Birth Date: March 25, 2007

Birth Story: We gently welcomed our son into the world, at home, in the water, in the presence of our incredible midwives. It was the most awesome day of our lives. The birth was magical and wonderfully natural. Our son initiated the birthing process, without the need for intervention, and guided my body throughout the whole process. After his birth we all snuggled up together and went to rest, in the comfort of our own bed. I can’t imagine it any other way!

Please visit www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/blog to read more about home birth stories and experiences.

Baby’s Birth Date: 8/8/81, 3/2/83, 4/19/85, 4/13/86
Birth Story: All of my children were born at home! I started to look at midwifery and homebirths when my doctor almost aborted my daughter as a ‘growth’. My pg tests came back negative the first 3 months for all my pregnancies. The nurse who was helping me get ready for my DNC, said, “Let’s run some blood work, just to make sure.” Some how she knew that I was pregnant. She saved my daughters life. After that I realized, even the best OBGYN’s can make major mistakes and I needed a more competent person to help me with my pregnancy and birth. Researching birth and midwifery was easy and the logical next step was to find a midwife. Sounds easy, but I was in Phoenix, AZ, not Europe were birthing was still very natural and considered a part of a woman’s experience to enjoy, not something to avoid.
Meeting my midwife, Susan, was the best thing I ever did for my pregnancies and medical health. She correctly diagnosed my issues with fertility and carrying to term as my thyroid disease and my body’s inability to absorb minerals. With her prenatal care I was able to get the best care for myself also! I’ve had a very healthy life because of her knowledge of female hormonal balance and her care of women for so many years. Since then medical reports have been published to substantiate her care.
At the time of my first birth, she had delivered well over 1,000 babies at home or in the local hospital. She went on to become a Physician Assistant, but I know the OBGYN doctors in Phoenix respected her and allowed her to work under their medical licenses.
My pregnancies and births were wonderful experiences because I had a brilliant midwife to guide me through the process of how to birth each of my children. One was somewhat uncooperative and was breach, we were able to turn him even though he was ’sunny side up’ and I had to work harder physically then I’ve ever had to work in my life - it was an experience I would not have missed.
No we are not hippies, new age crazies or dare devils - I was just a woman who wanted the best care for me and my baby, and to have the best births possible for them.
Now I am a pregnancy counselor and see all types of births. It saddens me how most of my clients are not able to have the best birth they could experience due to the hospitals policies and the need for the nurses to convince the doctors. It seems to all be run by fear, mothers in fear of birthing, nurses in fear of the doctors and doctors in fear of lawsuits.
Some day it will be common for women to bind together to support a woman who is to birth and to give her the best care possible for her needs. Some day it will be considered barbaric to make a woman take PIT to make her birth ‘on time’ and unheard of to not feel the experience of birth.
Thankfully I did not trust the US medical system and my births were at home and they were wonderful!

Please visit www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/blog to read more about home birth stories and experiences.

Baby’s Birth Date: June 11, 2004
Birth Story: This is the story of my daughter’s birth ,at home in a tub, almost 4 years ago. I recently had my son via c-section because he was breech. I am so glad I had the home birth experience. I have a website called Mama Do It, about this topic. Please check it out. www.mamadoit.com. Thank you for reading my birth story.

–

I was due on June 26th, but I had a feeling she would come early. She was always very low in my pelvis; from 8 months or so I could almost feel her movements in my cervix and behind. I also just had a very strong intuitive feel that she would be early.

Around week 35 or so, I started having some menstrual-like cramps at night. I’d have them once or twice in every 24 hour period. I asked my midwife if these were contractions and she said they could be, and were definitely a sign that my body was getting ready.

Our midwife did a home visit in week 36 (we had planned for a home birth), and after feeling how hard my uterus was when she palpitated my belly (actually, it had been hard like this the past three times she felt it - they always asked, are you having a contraction? but I could not tell if I was. I think I was having contractions without really knowing it. There are so many discomforts of pregnancy; it’s hard to distinguish what’s what!), and I told her how I had a feeling the baby might come early (midwives are great - they encourage you to trust your intuition!) and with the cramps, she did an internal exam. Lo and behold, I was 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced. The baby’s head was also at a +1 station! We were so excited, we thought we might have her that weekend, but after the weekend came and went, I thought, maybe it will be a few weeks after all.

I still had some weird feeling about it, prompting me to buy a nursing bra even though the lady at the store said not to buy it until two weeks before my due date; I also stopped working on Wednesday June 9, taking a vacation day for June 11, which would have been my last official day.

I had nesting instincts all along, so nothing really kicked in like that towards the end. Instead, the week before I gave birth, I felt more tired than usual. I also craved fruits during the two weeks preceding the birth.

The day I went into labor (Thursday, June 10), I woke up at 9am which was extremely unusual. I had been waking at 5 or 6 throughout the pregnancy. I also had light brown spotting all day. And for some reason, I decided that day to do all the last minute things I had put off in terms of setting up the nursery supplies.

On Thursday eve, I went with a friend to a local farm stand where I had a strong contraction in my belly. It was not the menstrual type, but a general tightening. Then she, I and my husband Steve went to dinner at the Bobcat Cafe in Bristol. After we finished our meal (thank you baby!), I felt a very distinctive pop around my cervix area. I told them about it and said it was not like your typical baby kick. I said I wonder if my water broke. Again, I had such a strong feeling about it happening soon that I brought a towel to dinner that night! I never brought a towel anywhere before then!

I stood up to go pee and I felt a rush of fluid. Luckily I was wearing a pad and it wasn’t a ton of liquid, but it did make me pause. As I walked to the bathroom, I felt more, and when I sat on the toilet, more and more came out in little rushes. I also looked down to see that my mucous plug was coming out too. I felt so excited and scared, stuffed a bunch of paper towels in my underwear and went out to tell my husband and friend that my water had indeed broken. In hindsight, I wish I had run out and made a big scene yelling, “MY WATER JUST BROKE!” because it would have given everyone in the restaurant a good story to tell. Being a little shy, I was instead quiet about it and went to wait in the car.

We drove home, called Laura Mann, our midwife, and she said it could be 24-48 hours before birth after the water breaks. She invited us to come up and get the birthing tub if we wanted something to do. We drove to her office in Hinesburg, where she checked my dilation. I was now 3 cms, fully dilated and the baby was at a +2 station. She said I’d probably proceed pretty quickly, but to go home and try to rest. At this point, my contractions (which felt like strong menstrual cramps) were already 5-8 minutes apart. They hurt but I was still able to joke around in between them. Laura told us to call her when they were 3-5 minutes apart.

At this point, I felt a little apprehensive. I had kept wishing that the baby would come early, but did I really mean NOW? :-) Laura sensed it and gave me a homeopathic remedy for apprehension. It seemed to immediately relax me a bit. I tried to mentally welcome the baby now and succumb to the fact that I was now in labor.

The contractions became more intense in the car ride home and when we got home, my husband excitedly set up the tub while I paced upstairs. I put on a hypnobirthing tape, darkened the room, and just moved about trying to find less painful positions for them. By around 11, I told STeve that I would probably be needing to get in the tub sooner rather than later. He started cooling the water off a bit. I suggested we put the shower curtain on the bed but he said, no there will be time for that when Laura comes. Famous last words!!!

I was jotting down each contraction’s starting time, and soon I asked Steve to come help me through them. I would bend over the bed during each while he pushed on my lower back with a heating pad. They were getting very intense; so much so that when they started, he wanted to write down the starting time and I was yelling at him to quickly push on my back NOW!!!

I got into the tub for a while, and then out, and then back in. I remember having Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien on for a bit, but when a contraction happened, I needed the TV to be off. At midnight, I was in the tub and the contractions had been coming every 4 minutes pretty consistently. I didn’t get much of a break in between; I still felt discomfort in the spaces between them; there was no way to “rest” or nap because everything was progrressing very quickly.

We called Laura at midnight and she said that Steve should listen to my sounds (I was practicing low moaning and relaxing my jaw through the contractions) and when they go up a notch, to call her. She offered to come now, but we were enjoying being alone just the two of us. Steve was sitting next to the tub and I was leaning my head on the side of the tub or on his knee, or holding his hand, or he’d have his hand on my shoulders. He fed me liquids and it was jsut really nice to be alone together.

Around 1:30, I had a contraction that was around a 10 on the pain scale, went down to an 8, back up to a 10, back to an 8, then back up to a 10 and I said, “CALL LAURA!” I felt a lot of pressure in my birth canal and started to fear the baby would be born before she could make it. I asked Steve, “Do you know what to do if the baby comes before Laura gets here?” He answered with a very reassuring “yes”; I have no idea if he really did or not, but he was very convincing and that’s all I needed.

We called Laura and she was on her way. The contractions were incredibly strong now. I was sitting on my right hip with my legs to the side and I felt the urge to open them. I was almost holding the baby back because the midwife was not there yet.

I think the hypnobirthing really helped, practicing relaxation and affirmations for several months before the birth. Anytime I felt doubt, I tried to replace it with a positive statement in my mind. I can do this, my body knows what it’s doing, etc. I was in a lot of pain, and was really hoping it would all be over soon.

Laura and her assiting midwife, Jen, arrived around 2:30 and quietly tiptoed around setting things up. Steve stayed with me. Laura heard my moans and told me I was in transition. I was relieved bc I knew that transition is the most painful part and I was glad I was already there.

Laura asked me to squat or kneel. I found it very hard to move around because I was concentrating so hard, but I was able to get into a kneeling position. At one point, Steve disappeared and I called for him. I found it absolutely necessary for him to be by my side for each contraction. Anytime I had a contraction, Laura and Jen encouraged me and in between contractions, everyone was very quiet allowing me to rest. At one point, I was so tired, my face fell in the water for a second. I was definiteily in “laborland”, sweating, concentrating, unaware of the world around me.

The urge to push came over me after a while and it was overwhelming. Steve said I grunted as if I was pulling a ten ton stone. It really was incredible; you can’t NOT push and still, it can be hard to succumb to that urge. After an hour or so of pushing, the baby’s head was about an inch from crowning. They asked me to feel it, I didn’t want to, but eventually I did. I was still afraid of that huge baby coming out of my vagina! Laura asked if I had fear, I said I didn’t know, but I was trying to open with each push. I would have about three pushes to each contraction and then rest.

Every 5 minutes or so, the midwives would listen to the baby’s heartbeat. The underwater doppler broke at one point (kind of scary not to hear a heartbeat!) so they had to use an old fashioned fetal stethescope, which meant everyone had to kind of hoist me out of the water like a table on my back so they could listen. Her heart was strong and Laura told me, “She’s happy to be coming out” - this was encouraging.

Laura said I should try to really focus on the pressure where the baby’s head was when I pushed. I took this to mean I should add some pushing power to the natural pushes my body was doing. It was scary but I tried to push more during the contractions. I could feel my tissues stretching, a burning feeling. Laura reassured me that my body was taking just the right time that it needed to let the tissues stretch. I was wondering if this baby would ever come out, but I knew the only obstacle was my fear so I really tried to think positively and visualize her being born SOON! I needed relief!

Laura kept saying “Show your baby the way”. I tried to think more of the baby and less about my pain. Eventually, Laura had me sit on a birthing stool in the tub, so I was just hovering above the water. This put immense pressure on my perenium and I just bit the bullet and pushed. The baby started to crown. The tearing burning sensation was real but was more tangible than transition and pushing so it felt good in a way. It felt like progress.

Laura told me I needed to decide whether to have the baby in the water or on the stool; if on the stool, we needed to get out of the tub so the baby wouldn’t take a breath and then go under water. I said I’d rather do water but only if it wouldn’t stop progress again to go back under. Laura said it would not, and Steve said affirmatively, “Let’s do it in the water”. I was glad he just decided and was confident about it. After the next contraction, Laura had Steve pick me up and they pulled the stool out of the tub. The baby’s head was crowning more and after I think one or two contractions, where I was REALLY pushing to get that baby out, her head came out, and then I just pushed and pushed regardless of whether there was a contraction or not and out came her body. I wish I slowed down at this point, but I think I was just desperate to get her out.

I was really out of it by then, just so determined to get her out, and Laura and Jen put her on my chest, threw a blanket over her and Laura said, “Gillian look at your baby, look at your baby”. It was like someone calling me back to this world; and I looked down and there was this little pink person on my chest. She opened her eyes and looked at me and made a little crisp “wah” and I felt immediately at peace and in wonder. I will never forget that moment. Steve was behind me, and we just were completely mesmerized by her. I never felt very connected to her when she was inside me, nor did I feel very sentimental about being pregnant - but as soon as I saw her, I felt like she was feeling “I know you” and I felt like “I know you, too”.

Ruby was born on Friday, June 11 at 4:46 AM, just after the sun came up.

In the meantime, the tub filled up with blood and Laura and Jen kind of rushed to get the placenta out and the cord cut so they could make sure I was okay. I was annoyed at having to still do things, like push out the placenta (I did this standing up, still holding my baby). Steve cut the cord. They walked me (I was incredibly shaky) me into our bedroom and checked me. I did tear quite a bit (2nd degree) and they spent an hour or so stitching me up on my bed. All the while, I held Ruby, who did not cry very much at all, but just rested in my arms.

Laura fed me a banana with peanut butter, and for the next 4 hours, the midwives cleaned up, checked Ruby, checked me, filled out paper work, and so on. I was on a complete high and I think for the next two days, only slept a total of 8 broken hours.

Ruby sleeps in our bed with us, I feel an intense connection to her - two things I didn’t plan or anticipate before she was born. It’s 1.5 weeks later and I’m still in awe, absolutely love being her mother, see why they say it’s the toughest job in the world (and I’m only getting started), and can’t believe that baby was inside of me!

Having a baby at home was just the perfect place for us. We had to deliberately face down our own fears and the fears of others’ as we planned it this way. I wouldn’t want to do it anywhere else and it felt completely natural for us. But it did take a lot of mental preparation, research, and also taking a very active role in caring for myself throughout the pregnancy. And being blessed to have a midwife who trusted my and her intuition and was so thorough in caring for me and our baby made it very do-able.

In the hours immediately following the birth, I thought, that was so painful, I’ll never do that again. But within 48 hours, I was so in awe of the whole experience, I thought, I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Please visit www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/blog to read more home birth stories and experiences.