More research on the negative effects of television on young children.  You can check it out here.   It's a must read. 

Post your thoughts and comments below.  I'm always interested to hear from parents on the topic of media.

It has been hot and sticky here in Michigan of late.  Since we don't have a pool and the kids are utterly bored with our sprinkler and ripped Slip'n'Slide, we decided to head out to the movies.  The movie of choice this time was Journey to the Center of the Earth starring Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutcherson (of one of my favorite movies of last year The Bridge to Terabithia).  Journey to the Center of the Earth is rated PG for intense adventure action and some scary parts. 

Plot:  If you don't want to know what happens, stop here. 

For those of you who are still with me, Brendan Fraser plays scientist/professor Trevor Anderson who teaches and studies earth sciences, volcanic activity to be specific.  Trevor's brother, Max, was also involved in the study of volcanic activity and disappeared while on an expedition ten years earlier leaving behind a wife and son, Sean, played by Hutcherson.  Sean, unenthusiastically comes to stay with his sloppy, single uncle for two weeks one summer.  While visiting his uncles laboratory, he notices some sensors going off indicating volcanic activity in Iceland.  Sean and Trevor hustle off to Iceland to explore the source with Sean's father's copy of Jules Verne's book, Journey to the Center of the Earth.  It should be noted that the book is filled with cryptic notes and codes from Sean's father.  In Iceland, they hire a mountain guide, Hannah (played by Anita Briem) to help them find the sensor.  During an electrical storm, they fall into an abandoned mine and eventually fall even further, yes, to the center of the earth.  There they find an amazing world filled with oceans, magma, dinosaurs and floating rocks. 

Violence:  There is really very little violence other than Sean and Trevor batting some very scary looking prehistoric fish while trying to cross a very treacherous sea. 

Sexual Innuendo:  No real sexual innuendo in the movie.  Sean and Trevor call "dibs" on Hannah in the beginning of the movie.  To be expected, she and Trevor start to fall for each other and seal the deal in the end with a kiss.

Strong Language/Crudeness:  There was no strong language that I can remember.  There was a scene where they discuss "all the schist.  As far as crudeness or "the gross factor," the movie was shot in 3-D (although this viewing was not offered at the theater where we saw the film) so there are lots of shots of things flying through the air.  The grossest I can recall is the saliva from the dinosaur.

Creepy Factor:  I don't recall anything particularly creepy in this film.

Scary Images:  By far the scariest part of the film is the dinosaur scene.  A large t-Rex chases Sean in a very lengthy scene.  Big teeth.  Big dinosaur.  Lots of peril.  My daughter had me by the arm during most of that scene.  Older kids will know that there is no way they are going to let the dinosaur eat the kid.  Younger viewers might be truly frightened by the dinosaur as well as the very scary looking fish I mentioned earlier.

Final Tally:  The kids and I collectively gave this movie an A-.  We really had a good time and will likely buy this one on DVD when it comes out.  Why?  We remained engaged throughout.  There was lots of action.  The characters were likable and real.  In particular, I loved that Hannah's character was a strong, independent woman with lots of brains -- you don't see that very often in films nowadays.  I also enjoyed watching the relationship between Trevor and Sean evolve.  I should mention that shortly after their arrival to the earth's core, they discover the demise of Sean's dad.  There is a rather sad moment when they say goodbye to him.  The awkward relationship between Sean and Trevor dissipates and they eventually grow close as a result of the mutual loss of Max.  Trevor is able to help Sean truly know who his father was -- it was rather sweet. 

I wouldn't recommend this film for children under the age of six of those kids who are frightened by mild peril.  Having said that, any child who was able to handle the last Harry Potter film should do just fine.  All in all, the journey to the center of the earth was a fun ride. 

No problem, Jennifer!  Glad to hear that the throwing has been getting better.  Bummer about the biting.  Lucky for you, I just answered another reader's question on that very thing.  You can check out my response here. 

As for the mealtimes, you should definitely follow your gut and pick and choose your battles.  All too often, we try to "fix" all our kids problem behaviors at once which then leads to us being overwhelmed.  We can't do it all.  I suggest tackling the behaviors that are making mealtimes the most frustrating.  If taking food out of his mouth is not at the top of your list, let it go for now.  Get the big ones under control and tackle the little ones later.  Using this approach, you will have A LOT more energy to deal with them.

Returning to work stinks, doesn't it?  I remember how hard it can be transitioning kids to daycare.  I actually wrote an article on this on Minti (a fantastic resource for parents!) a while back.  Thanks for bringing it to my attention that I never posted it here on my blog.  Took care of that a few days ago.  Here's the link.

As for calming tips, I have done several posts on this topic as well.  You can check them out here, 
here, here, here, and here.

Hopefully, I have answered all your follow up questions, Jennifer!  Let me know if I've missed anything!  As usual, thank you so much for the questions and for being a Mentor Mom reader!!!

Hi Jill,

Our son is now two weeks from 2 years. He has been throwing tantrums for about six months now.  In the past it was usually if he didn’t get what he wanted.  He would then scream for about 10 minutes and then calm down again.  (He screams very loud, a whole department store would halt if he starts). This last week his tantrums have become very aggressive.  He really tries to hurt us if he can.  He would bite or scratch, slap us, fall down, and all the time he would be screaming very loud.  These tantrums now last for up to half an hour.  We’ve tried to hold him still, ignore him, nothing helps. Last night he woke up late at night and we had a repeat of a tantrum he had before he went to bed.  At first we thought he was dreaming, but he was actually wide awake. My husband is allergic to things like caffeine, iodine and gluten.  We are now trying to cut these out of his diet to see if it helps. How should we handle these aggressive tantrums? Thanks, Igna

Oh Igna, I am so sorry to hear that you guys are going through this! Tantrums are never easy, but are even worse when they involve aggressive behaviors. I’m sure this won’t be much of a relief, but this behavior is not atypical. Lots of two year olds go through aggressive bouts. Having said that, I know you want to know what to do! When faced with behavior challenges, the first thing I suggest is to take a step back and evaluate the situation by asking some simple questions:

•  Have there been any major changes in our household? Little ones act out stress differently than we do and with toddlers, it often comes in the form of aggression, intense tantrums or increase emotionality. Start with a look-see at your household routine and determine if this behavior may stem from any changes there.
•  Is he getting enough sleep? I know, this is a common sense. Over the years, however, I have found that common sense is not always that common. Look at his sleep patterns. Is he still napping twice a day? Does he sleep through the night? I did a post on the importance of sleep. You can check it out here   
• Take a look at nutrition. You mentioned in your question that your husband has some food allergies. Good for you for exploring whether he may have food allergies as well. Many parents overlook this. I remember working with a young boy who was about two and a half. He bounced off the walls and was extremely aggressive when I first met him. Granted, discipline was lacking in his home initially. After some coaching, however, his mother gradually took back control and his behavior started improving. On top of that, however, they eliminated red dyes from his diet at the recommendation of their pediatrician. I am telling you, that boy was like a different kid when I went to see him. He was focused, well behaved and a pure joy to be around. While I don’t want to discount the importance of the increase in discipline, I am convinced that the elimination of the red dyes played a role in his drastic improvement. Call me crazy, but I do. For the record, I also believe that the full moon causes people to act crazy.
• Are the behavior expectations in your home clear? I know he is still little, but do you and his father have the same expectations when it comes to his behavior? If not, getting on the same page is crucial. Enough said.
•  Does he do this with other caretakers such as daycare providers, grandparents, etc? If the answer is “no,” the problem lies within your responses to his tantrums.
• Is there anything going on medically? Has been in to see the pediatrician? Does he have an ear infection? Could he be getting his second year molars? A check up might be warranted to rule out any medical conditions that may be contributing to his lower tolerance of frustration.
• Have you been consistent with your previous attempts to manage this behavior? I know that consistency is hard, but lack thereof is usually the crux of most ongoing behavioral problems. They are looking for that ONE time that we give in. Smart aren’t they?!

Okay, having done a little (or a lot!) of personal reflection on the situation, here are some suggestions:

• Aggressive behaviors need to be dealt with a swift response that minimizes any positive contact between you and your son. The most effective consequence for hitting, biting, scratching is immediate removal from the situation and placement in time out. In my previous post, a reader asked about how to deal with biting. The suggestions I made there hold true for any type of physical aggression. You can read more about it here. Be sure to check out the links in that post regarding time out. Also, keep in mind that you want to limit verbal and physical contact as much as possible. Kids will take whatever attention they can whether it be positive or negative. What they can’t stand as to get no attention, thus the rationale for placing them somewhere where contact is limited, e.g., a corner in a separate room, their bedroom, etc. (always keeping their physical safety in mind, of course!
• As for the screaming, ignoring is really the most effective strategy. Of course, this is not the easiest especially when you are out in public. The key, again, is to not talk, touch or look at him while he is doing the undesirable behavior. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want! By that I mean, ignore the ugly behavior and respond to him only when he has stopped screaming. If he starts again, ignore again. I know this can be a real challenge when you are in a store. If the behavior happens frequently in public, plan some outings where you won’t mind leaving when the behavior occurs. For example, go to the store with the sole purpose of teaching him that when he screams you will immediately leave. Don’t do it when you HAVE to get a gift for someone or get some grocery shopping done.  Do it when you have the time and energy and view it as a teachable moment in his life. If he can learn at this young age that when I scream in public, we leave you will save yourself tons of headaches as he gets older. And don’t worry about any grimaces from other customers. I guarantee, if they are shooting you dirty looks or muttering under their breathe they either 1) don’t have kids or 2) it has been so long since they have had kids that they don’t remember what it is like to be in public with a screaming kid. They are not worth your time and energy. Teaching your son, however, that the natural consequence for screaming is 1) leaving fun public places and/or 2) being ignored by my parents IS worth your time and energy. If you are at home and the screaming is wearing you down, put him in his room until he is done. Only interact with him when he has stopped. If you keep poking your head in while he is screaming, you risk the chance that you are inadvertently reinforcing the behavior.

I hope you find this information helpful, Igna. Please be sure to keep me posted on how things progress or if you have any other questions or concerns. Thanks for the question and being a Mentor Mom reader!

 Do you have any tips or suggestions for Igna? If so, please share them!

Attention!  Attention!  I am seeking any parents out there whose kids are literally driving them over the edge!  Why you may ask?  I'll get to that in a moment.  Let me start with a little background for those who are unfamiliar with this blog.  Last year, I wrote this post about not being able to stand being around your kids.  It really resonated with readers and is, to date, my most visited post. 

My goal at the time that I wrote the post was to try to give hope to parents who were feeling overwhelmed by their children's behavior.  I wanted parents to know that many of us, myself included, have felt this way and that it is never too late to change things for the better.

I can't tell you how many e-mails I have gotten from parents sharing their frustrations, their hopes for healing and their requests for help.  Hence, my shout out to overwhelmed parents.  I don't want to give too much away, but I am working on a very exciting project on this topic and need your help. 

If you are or you know a parent who is really struggling to like their kid at the moment, I want to talk to you.  I want to hear your story and, in exchange, I will provide you with some pro bono parent coaching.  Suffice it to say, that I am hoping the results of this will offer hope and help to all parents out there who are struggling.  So, please contact me via e-mail at thementormom@hotmail.com. 

I look forward to hearing from you and thank you in advance for being willing to share your story so that you can help other parents in need!

I am going through the terrible two's right now, times two, and it isn't easy. Luckily, though, (I guess) my twin daughters are taking turns with the tantrums. One seems to have them more frequently than the other for one month or so and then they switch. Right now I'm having problems with biting (big time) when they don't get what they want. A two minute time out works for one of my daughters, but not the other. Instead my other daughter laughs, continues biting and runs out of her room the minute she is placed in there. She also does not sit still, if I put her on a chair. My question to you is... how do I stop my daughters from biting? What type of consequence do I give them for behaving in this way? Any advice you could give me would be much appreciated as they are starting to wear me down. - Jennifer J.

Hi Jennifer,

First, let me extend a big thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog.  I LOVE getting comments!  Second, thanks for bringing up the topic of biting.  It sure can be a tricky behavior to squash and I can't believe I haven't done a post on it already!  I had to chuckle when I read about your girls taking turns with tantrums.  You know I have worked with many families with twins over the years and have always been amazed at how the kids do seem to act up at different times.  It's as if they know that if they do it at the same time they will push their parents over the edge!  Kids are just absolutely amazing to me.

Getting to the issue of biting, I'm afraid there is no quick fix.  Time out is really the most effective strategy for biting.  For the little one who is trying to make a game of it (smart isn't she!), I am going to refer you to my posts on time outs.  In them, I discuss how to deal with little ones who do not want to stay where they need to be.  You may find them here and here.

The keys to making time out effective as related to biting are:

1. Be swift.  You want      to move her to time out ASAP after the incident.  The faster the      better.  You want her to make the immediate connection that when I      bite, I am whisked off my feet before I even know it and am sitting in the      corner.
2. Make an unhappy face. Let the expression on your face do all the      talking.  A disapproving face (not an angry one) will clearly send      the message that her actions are not okay.  Remember that 85% of      communication is body language, facial expression and tone of voice.      Even the youngest of children (including infants) learn how to read facial      expressions.
3. Limit the discussion.  No need      to even discuss or tell her why she is going to the corner.  She      knows.  I'm sure you have told her many times already that biting is      unacceptable.  In my posts, I discussed using an empathetic statement      before you put them in time out.  I should have clarified that there      is no need to do that for some behaviors/issues, particularly those that      you have discussed or made clear on several occasions.

I hope this information is helpful, Jennifer!  I wish I did have a quick fix for biting behaviors, but like everything with raising kids, there is no "easy" button.  Please let me know if you have any further questions regarding biting behaviors or the suggestions provided.  Best of luck to you!

Do you have any tips or suggestions to help curb biting?  Please share your ideas!