I knew this day would come...the day my kids wanted an e-mail address.  I've been putting my son off for years (he's eleven).  While I love all this new technology for myself, it scares the bejesus out of me when I think about technology and my kids.

Why, you might ask?  To be honest, I think that kids nowadays spend way too much time on the computer and other electronic devices (some day I'll post the trials and tribulations we have had with the Nintendo DS in the Mentor Mom household!).  It is not just the fear of them spending hours with their noses pressed up against a screen, it is ensuring that they are safe when on the internet -- no small task nowadays with all the creepy creeps out there!

So, I found this article that shares info on what parents need to consider when looking for an e-mail account for their kids.  It also shares a list of some sites that offer free e-mail accounts for children with parental controls.  We've decided to go with ZillaDog.net.  It was easy to go in and set up accounts for both kids along with their "buddy" lists.  Parents can choose to get copies of their children's e-mails if desired.  The biggest plus to me is that my kids can only send e-mails to friends that I add to their list.

I also checked out KidRocket which seems pretty cool.  This site primarily serves as a secure entry point for kids to the internet.  Kids can only access a number of preconfigured web sites, eg, Disney, The Cartoon Network, etc.  It has a timer so you can limit their time web surfing.  While I like all these features, I found the e-mail a bit cumbersome.  I like the idea of being able to set a time and have it lock them out when time is up -- eliminates the "Get off the computer" "I just gotta get to the next level" debate.  I'm going to have to play around more with this one.  Not sure about constantly having to enter my password to sign on/off, etc.  I'll keep you posted on this one.

Do you have any tips when it comes to kids and computer safety?  Post your suggestions!

Yup, summer is in full swing and already, the kids and I find ourselves feeling bored.  So what to do?  Well, if you are fortunate like us to live in Michigan, there are endless amounts of fairs and festivals to check out.  Nothing says summer like a 4-H fair!  In case there are any others out there who are looking for some affordable fun, I thought I'd share a couple of my favorite summer resources:

• Michigan Festivals and Events:  This website lets you explore different festivals and events by region.  They've got them all and include links to the event sites as well allowing you to check out scheduled events, ticket prices (if applicable) and much, much more. 
  
  
• Kent District Libraries  This is one of my favorite resources.  I don't know about you, but money is tight around The Mentor Mom household.  As a result, we are always looking for affordable, or better yet FREE, fun.  Kent District Libraries offer a variety of free programs and events at their branches.  You can search by branch, by date or even by event type.  I think we will be checking out the Harry Potter event at the Cascade branch before we head to the movie on Wednesday!
• Grand Rapids Public Library  The Grand Rapids Public Library also offers some wonderful events.  Last year we went and checked out a percussion group who performed a variety of songs and dances from Africa.  It was interesting learning about how the beats and motions worked together to convey stories about different topics such as the need for rain, harvesting crops, etc.
• GRKids.com  If you are like me (lazy, wanting someone else to do all the work), then this is the site for you.  All of the Grand Rapids goingsons are gathered in one spot for you.  To make it even easier, you can can sign up for their newsletter and have the info sent right to your e-mail box!  What could be better than that?!  No more excuses for not knowing what is going on in the area.  Gotta give a BIG shout out to Melody for putting this site together -- way to go, girl!

Do you have some other resources to share?  Please post any suggestions, tips or links! 

I was asked a few weeks ago by an overwhelmed mother if it was too late to repair the relationship with her elementary aged son.  I said "It's never too late!"  I truly do believe that you know, but I understand her anxiety.  I have often wondered this myself as it relates to my own children.  I went through it with my son when he was much younger.  Things on that front are MUCH improved and I feel confident that our relationship will continue improve and grow stronger.  I also feel that there isn't much he can do that I can't handle (let's hope he doesn't prove me wrong!).

My daughter, on the otherhand, continues to shake my confidence in my parenting abilities.  The roller coaster of emotions from sweet child to demanding and screaming kid continue from time to time.  Every time it does, I wonder what have I done wrong?  Is she going to grow up to hate me?  Will we ever enjoy each other's company?

I've tried looking at it analytically, e.g., what is that I am doing that continues to reward this behavior?  I've realized that I really have to work on responding without any emotion to the outbursts (as angry and hurt as I might be inside).  It has helped in that she has been recovering more quickly, but it is still frustrating that the outbursts continue to happen. Let me be clear, I do not expect a perfectly behaved child, but one that is pleasant to be around at least 50-75% of the time would be great.

It is clear that the parenting tools that worked with my son are not nearly as effective with my daughter.  This still surprises me especially since up until the last year and a half, she had been the easier of the two.  Is it too late?  I refuse to believe so.  My goal is to have a positive relationship with her.  But, how to do this?  Here is my plan:

• Identify the trigger to most of the battles - We seem to get into it about the same things, room cleanliness, snacks, etc.  Knowing when it the battles will happen can help us as parents be proactive rather than reactive.
• Hone my technique -  In my case, this means keeping my cool and being less reactive.  If you have parenting tools that have worked in the past, take another look at them to see are you doing anything differently?  Again, for me, I see that I have been much more emotionally reactive with her than I was with my son.  Remember, behaviors only occur as long as they are being rewarded (i.e, they elicit a response).  Thing two clearly knows she is getting a rise out of me.  Gotta put that in check. 
• Know that I can, must and will do this.  Enough said about that one. 

I think that the last step is the hardest.  Kids are like dogs in that they smell fear, or in this case, lack of confidence.  I love my daughter WAY too much not to continue to find ways to improve things. 

I know that there are many parents out there who struggle with this, myself included.  The overall point is that you MUST believe in yourself.  With determination, the right tools and mind set, even the most troubled parent-child relationships can be turned around!