This morning I went to the funeral for Stan, it was a nice service and I held together really well right up until they wheeled is casket out. Well then I just lost it, it really hit that Stan was gone and would no longer be a part of mine or my daughters lives, and that he wouldn't get to meet Lilli - something he was very excited about. I'm dreading going to my grandparents with my girls next as he always met us as soon as we pulled up and would have a little cup of lollies and a hug and kiss for the girls. If Stan wasn't home when we pulled up they would ask "wheres tan?". It will be hard for a while i guess, but we will get past it.

I am totally drained tonight, don't know whether I am arthur or martha. I have no idea what I want or what I feel like. Josh is on night shift and I miss him like crazy - always do, i wonder if that will ever change lol. Mum wants me to start staying with her as of Josh's next night shift week in a fortnight. She is scared I am going to go into labour while josh is at work and I am here alone with the girls and Mum and Dad are half an hour away. I kinda want to stay home, but can see her point, and who can pass up additional help with the girls and cooked dinners??

Bella's tantrums seem to be getting worse, but then again and could be the depletion of my ability to cope with them! I'm scared that it will be worse still once Lilli is born. Fingers crossed that it doesn't and that I can manage these tantrums better.

Trik x

OMG, can't believe it!! I seriously would have got like 3-4 hours sleep last night!! I'm stoked! I know sometimes when people say that they didn't sleep last night, they really mean they had a rough nights sleep - but actually slept. BUT NOT ME, for the last 4.5 months (with the exception of a couple of nights) I seriously have been having approx 1.5 hours sleep per day, usually between when hubby leaves for work at 5.30 and the girls wake up at 7am.

Wow it is amazing how good I feel just after getting 3-4 hours! imagine how great I'll feel when I get a full nights sleep!!

Trik

This week seemed to drag on, and it was only a 4 day work week for Josh due to the public holiday !! So glad the weekend is here and he will be home with us.

Bella's tantrums are really starting to wear me down, the mixture of her temper and my being soooo exhausted is making it near impossible for me to cope with at the moment. Maddi is pretty sick at the moment, she has a nasty cough, runny nose and a fever, she has been really sooky and clingy - not that I blame the poor thing. My time and energy are being demanded greatly by both of them at the moment and i am running low on stock  It's good to know that with it being the weekend Josh will be helping out and I'll hopefully get a chance to recharge.

My Cousin is having a Christening for her beautiful baby Annabel on Sunday, and I have absolutely nothing to wear. All of the maternity clothes i bought when i had the money were to get me through winter, and with funds being tight at the moment I haven't been able to get anything for this warm weather. Maybe I'll just cut and sew up an old sheet LOL.

We have had my brother in law living with us for the past 2 months, he has moved down from the Gold Coast to be closer to Josh as we moved down from the Gold Coast a year ago. He has been staying with us until he gets himself a job here and a place to live. He started working last week, so hopefully he will find a place shortly. it has been no trouble having him with us, but will still be nice to have our little home and privacy back to ourselves. Once he gets a place his partner and son will be moving down and he wont be such a free man, hopefully then he wont be so demanding of Josh's time and we can have our family time back again - and couple time.

Well that's about me for today x

I have just joined the group Multiples & one of the members had posted this wonderful poem & I just had to share it :o)

There's Two to Wash
There's Two to dry
There's Two who Argue
There's Two who Cry
One's in the Mud having a Ball
The other holds a Crayon, another marked Wall
Some days seem endless
My Patience Grows Thin
Why was I chosen to be a Mother of Twins?
The Answer Comes Clear at the End of each Day
As I tuck them in Bed and to myself say,
There's Two to Kiss
There's Two to Hug
and Best of All
There's Two to Love!

I really feel this poem captures a lot about being mother to twins - warms my heart xxx