It finally happened.  Vanessa has got her first cold along with the rest of us.  We are all miserable and feel like pooh which makes every thing that much more of a chore.  We also got in a parking lot fender bender this week.  Some guy decided not to check any of his mirors before backing into my car.  Most of the damage was done to his mini van and Vanessa didn't even wake up from the bump we took so no harm done, just an inconvenience more than anything, we definately didn't get the Christmas shopping finished off like we were hoping to that day!

Today she decided that she didn't need her morning nap and surprisingly is still happy as we move into hour four of being awake.  Normally she can only stand to be awake for 2-3 hours at a time before needing a nap.  I can't blame her though it is hard to sleep when you can't really breath through your nose

Yep, it has been quite a stressful week.  Vanessa is teething and has decided that she needs to get up at least 3 times in the middle of the night.  For the first couple of nights I tried comforting her and laying with her which didn't work at all beacuse she decided once she was picked up that she wanted to be up and that it should be play time.  By night 2 I decided that once she started to cry I would just go in and cover her back up, let her know that I was there and that everything was okay and then left her to cry herself back to sleep.  It worked eventually, the first night of this she cried off and on for about an hour each episode.  The last couple of nights I have just let her cry and then go in and check on her and cover her up when I am sure that she is sleeping.  Last night though, I think she caught on to my trick and last night every time I thought she had gone to sleep and went in to cover her up there she was wide awake waiting quietly until of course until I left the room and went back to my own bed.  Before this week,Vanessa had been sleeping through the night (8pm to 8am) but this week she is up at least 3 times a night and by 6am, forget about it, she will NOT go back to sleep, she will cry (if she is left to) until 8am.  Now I am not sure if it is just because she is teething or because now she knows that if she cries long  enogh one of us will cave in. All I do know for sure is that I am exhausted and need SLEEP!!

I am new at this bloging thing and new at expressing myself via the computer.  I am used to just using the computer for work and e-mails with friends which are a limited few.  I am not a super socal person and I supose I never really understood the need for an on line comunity of friends when it is so much easier to just pick up the phone.  Now I find myself in this precarious position of having no one in my life to share all my thoughts, concerns, frustrations or excitement in watching my child grow and develop on a dayly basis. Long story short this is something new that I am going to have to work at. 

I am a relatively new mom (my daughter is going to be 6 months a the end of November).  I guess I am not really a "normal" new mom in the way that I was never nervious about bringing Vanessa home from the hospital or worried about whether or not I would know what her basic needs were.  My worries as a parent are am I spending as much "quality time" with her that I should, am I teaching her anything she needs to know at this stage in her development, does she have the right kind of toys to ensure that she is expanding her mind as much as she should be at this stage in her development...etc.  It is so amazing to me how quickly and compleatly such a little person takes over every aspect of your life, your heart, your thoughts and it is hard to not have people close who are experiencing something similar to share all the wonders and frustrations with.

I am also new at this stay at home thing.  It began being difficult the first week I left work to go on maturnaty leave.  The whole issue of being dependant on my husband and not really understanding what my role here is suppst to be as well as whether or not I wanted to endulge in that role.  I am still at a loss some days as to if I am fulfilling this role as well as I should and what all the things I am suposed be to be doing.  I worked hard to work and go to school at night to get into my chosen profession as a legal assistant.   Yes we did decide to have Vanessa when we did, but who knew leaving the work force would be so dificult?  I am torn everytime the discussion comes up (outside or inside my head) about whether I want to stay home after the year is up.  Part of me says no way, I can't wait to get back to the 9 to 5  but then another part of me doesn't want to miss a moment with Vanessa not only for selfish reasons but because I don't want to have to put her in daycare and have strangers looking after my child.  My husband, who not only has always been the most supportive and understanding guy I have ever known doesn't want me to go back to work either but then that nagging feeling of being dependant on him sturs up the whole thought cycle all over again.