I have a good friend who is a pediatrician and does a podcast called PediaCast.  Dr. Mike spends time answering questions in detail- the kind of questions we want answered by our pediatrician, but there's never time to get the detailed answers we want.   His latest show goes over what makes a good study, and what doesn't, and how to evaluate good information from bad.

This is what I need more of in my life. 

I used to buy all the parenting magazines, read the "latest" article on breast feeding and the rest, but I was constantly surprised by how dumbed down the articles were.  How pamphlet-like.  How Sound Bite.  I eventually gave up.  I even started my own podcast, the LD Podcast, about learning and learning disabilities, because I was tired of sorting out good information from the piles of bad and misleading information available.  I wanted to create a center for reliable, researched and truthful information about kids and learning.  The Best of ideas about parenting. 

I've got kids who are now 9 and 12.  I am no longer a "newbie" parent, and  I need advanced advice, not sound bites and headlines.  I want to be able to have the information my pediatrician has, presented to me in a way I can understand it.  I want to know what the smartest people out there have to say, in a reader's digest condensed version I can then take and apply.

I know there are no quick fixes, so don't promise me there's a one killer soultion for all my problems.  But I hope here at Minti we can have discussions about parenting beyond a 101 level- let's create parental graduate school.  Let's collect the information we most want, point people to the best resources and experts, and leave the silly stuff at the door.

(This was written by me and published today on the group blog I contribute to- GNM Parents)

My two boys are going away to camp, together, for the very first time. Two Weeks. Overnight. My bedroom looks like an army depot, full of clothes and supplies, as I try to pack their trunks. I have a small hope that some level of organization will help them find the underwear and socks (and change them…), that all my prep will help them have a great time at camp.

I loved summer camp as a kid. I went to a YWCA camp on Canadaigua Lake in Upstate New York. It was a prototypical summer camp for girls. We had cabins, bunk beds, latrines a good distance away from our cabin (there’s incentive to make sure you go before lights out…) swimming, sailing, and more. While the first summer I went I felt like I had been sent away from home, I made so many friends and had so many terrific experiences, I went back. One summer, I even stayed a whole month, learning to sail.

As I look back at summer camp, and remember it with happiness and nostalgia, I also think how insane it seems in today’s world that we send our kids off to camp, to be guided and taught by Counselors in Training and Counselors who are often just a few years older than our kids- people we might not, under other circumstances, hire as babysitters. Yet in the confines of camp, this is fine and dandy.

I want my kids to have the same sort of experiences I had at camp this summer. I want them to make new friends. Become a little more self-reliant and independent. Have a cabin that feels like a two-week sleepover. Learn new things, and explore stuff they just wouldn’t get a chance to in the same way at day camp or at home.

What this comes down to is a while lot of ambivalence on the part of me, the Mom. I’m running around, buying flashlights, bug spray, suntan lotion, shampoo, hiking boots, and more. I ordered trunks off the internet (these suckers are surprisingly hard to find, but I highly recommend C & N trunks). I have been labeling clothing and underwear for days. I am keeping myself busy so I don’t get too caught up in the fact that my babies are leaving in just a few days.

And as I sit down to write this, I find I am getting all emotional. I am sending my children away! I have never been away from them this long! I’m going to be at home, and I think I am the one who is going to be homesick. I’ve got things planned- getting caught up with some things I’ve been putting off. Going to Podcasters Across Borders. Going to a movie and a concert with my husband, without having to find a babysitter. Yet, what am I going to do when I don’t have to wake anyone up in the morning but me?

There are sometimes this sounds blissful. Time without thinking every moment about who I need to pick up from where and when. Yet my life is so structured around the kids, it’s like the structure of things is going to fall apart without them. Sure, we’ll get to answer the age old questions- If the kids aren’t around, does a mother still nag? Is bedtime a fluid thing, or truly dependent on when Mom Has Had Enough? But I guess, at the moment at least, I worry this is going to be much harder on me than on them.

I know they need these experiences. This sense of self. This separation. I know they will have the time of their lives. But will I?

The problem with being a largely stay at home mom is that Mom is part of our job title. And each of these steps our kids take away from us, leaves us with a little less of our jobs intact. By defining ourselves as parents, who are we when our kids aren’t there? I’ve spent the better part of this last year developing more of my own life, my own projects and identity, but all if this is still closely tied with being Mom. This whole growing up thing is always talked about as somewhat difficult for kids as they try to find their way in life. Growing up as a parent and a person can be hard, too.

Anyone up for grown-up camp? Maybe we can then all run away from home at the same time. Kids go to their camp, moms go and get pedicures, hang out and have coffee, and read trashy novels. Show up at mealtimes to prepared summer salads, burgers- anything we want. At the end of two weeks, when bonding time is up, we can all go home together, refreshed, having bonded with our new friends, and made new memories for a lifetime.