http://www.minti.com/members/wombat68/advice/ Most Recent Advice on Minti by wombat68 Copyright 2009 Minti en-uk wombat68 My wife has always said that the first 3 months were the easy bit.  Now the Australian National University has confirmed it in a recent study.(1) New mothers are usually given no support from their partners after child birth(2) New mothers spend 71 hours/week on paid and unpaid work, when child is 3 months old(3) The workload increases to 75 ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/517/Working-conditions-for-mothers-worsen-rather-than-improve/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/517/Working-conditions-for-mothers-worsen-rather-than-improve/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 22:34:04 -0700 wombat68 In a recent article, I read that using the "naughty corner" could lead to children being labelled as "Naughty".  It's an interesting criticism.  Labels, like stereotypes, can lead to limiting children to certain roles in the family and at school.  The naughty boy in the class becomes the scapegoat for all the kids, and even the teachers watch him/her extra ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/516/Being-naughty-is-not-the-same-as-being-a-naughty-boy/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/516/Being-naughty-is-not-the-same-as-being-a-naughty-boy/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 20:24:58 -0700 wombat68 If you spend a half-an-hour reading the many websites that argue the case for removing spanking or any corporal punishment from the home, it is amazing to think how prevalent it is in Australia and the US, though experts suggest that the practice is on the decline in the US.One of the facts that strikes me the most (excuse the pun), ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/269/First-rule-of-Spanking-Never-hit-a-child-in-anger/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/269/First-rule-of-Spanking-Never-hit-a-child-in-anger/ Sun, 07 May 2006 07:41:07 -0700 wombat68     What does the research show?Most parents, even the most patient ones, lose their temper and yell at their children. According to a ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/239/Yelling-at-Children-Can-Be-Harmful/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/239/Yelling-at-Children-Can-Be-Harmful/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 04:10:05 -0700 wombat68 1. Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Extensive research data is now available to support a direct correlation between corporal punishment in childhood and aggressive or violent behavior in the teenage and adult years. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished in childhood. It is nature's plan that children learn attitudes and behaviors ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/238/8-Reasons-Not-to-Spank-Your-Child/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/238/8-Reasons-Not-to-Spank-Your-Child/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 04:02:07 -0700 wombat68 You started it--so when your wife finally reports to you that she's pregnant, then it's time to start getting involved.Pregnancy is daunting for men, I know, I am one.  It's hard to get involved in something that is taking place behind closed doors inside another person's body.  It's easier to think about work, paying bills, maybe we need a bigger car, ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/237/Dads-Get-involved-early/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/237/Dads-Get-involved-early/ Fri, 12 May 2006 15:38:48 -0700 wombat68 Many, if not most people, have never had to lead other people when they become parents.  That might be because you are young, have never had the opportunity or desire to be a leader.  However, being a mum and dad thrusts you into the role as leader from day one.  Some people find strength in the role and are successful; ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/235/Authority-Learning-to-lead-your-kids/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/235/Authority-Learning-to-lead-your-kids/ Fri, 28 Apr 2006 17:50:23 -0700 wombat68 Kids screaming is a real pain!  And you need to get it sorted out early.  It's just something your kids are trying (a strategy) to gain attention and exert influence in their world.  Developmentally, they are trying to use a short-cut to get their way, rather than taking the harder path of behaving properly and expressing their needs politely, e.g., ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/231/Screaming-How-to-make-it-stop/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/231/Screaming-How-to-make-it-stop/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 20:29:30 -0700 wombat68 Time out for fatherhood" - was the leader in the Australian (Dec 2004).  Macquarie Bank managers were sent on a 2-day weekend course with....their sons!  Most of them had never spent more than a few hours alone at a time with their sons, and most of the boys were between 6 and 12 years old.  That really worries me!I don't ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/225/Spend-time-with-your-kids-before-its-too-late/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/225/Spend-time-with-your-kids-before-its-too-late/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 08:02:53 -0700 wombat68 An anonymous contributor asked: Having problems conceiving.It was only easy to get pregnant when we were at school!  When we want to do it, nothing seems to work.  I have firends and and family that either have needed lots of help, or have given up.  But that's no reason not to take heart.  Often its something simple.  And it may ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/222/Conception-Keeping-the-sperm-count-high/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/222/Conception-Keeping-the-sperm-count-high/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 07:27:51 -0700 wombat68 Have Some Rules and Apply them consistentlyEstablish simple rules and routines for your child. They need to know what they are allowed to do and what they are not allowed to do.  Routine and rules help children to make sense of their day and what is expected of them.  They feel safer and more confident when there are rules and ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/221/Positive-ways-of-dealing-with-bad-behaviour/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/221/Positive-ways-of-dealing-with-bad-behaviour/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 07:26:36 -0700 wombat68 We all remember being clipped on the head or backside by our parents.  "Probably deserved it!", we say.  But I think there are good reasons to avoid physical violence in the home, no matter what the circumstances are."Spanking is my last resort!" - That's exactly the time not to use it, because it means that you are using violence to solve your ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/199/Spanking-Is-it-OK/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/199/Spanking-Is-it-OK/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 03:52:24 -0700 wombat68 It's very difficult to deal with your lovely child when they are having a tantrum.  My beautiful innocent child!  What is wrong with my baby? Tantrums and agressive behavior are not uncommon or something to be frightened by.  Remember that they are usually connected to two factors: attention (love) and power (boundaries).  Our son has them ocassionally and they can be ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/198/Bad-Behavior/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/198/Bad-Behavior/ Mon, 17 Apr 2006 18:52:09 -0700 wombat68 In response to your description of a young 16-month boy that is disobedient, out of control, and self-destructive.  What can I do?There are really only two dimensions to the psychological needs of young children: attention (love, contact, etc) and control (boundaries).  From what you have written, he may feel that he lacks both.  My advice after having looked after boys ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/185/Out-of-control-16-month-boy/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/185/Out-of-control-16-month-boy/ Sat, 15 Apr 2006 00:53:26 -0700 wombat68 Telia is one of the largest telecommunication providers in Scandinavia.  In Sweden, Telia encourages all men to take paternity leave for at least 3 months, because it believes that being a "stay at home dad" develops emotional intelligence and leadership ability.  Telia gives the dads training in the emotional intelligence and personal development and 3 - 6 months full pay.What can ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/184/Parenting-as-leadership-training/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/184/Parenting-as-leadership-training/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 00:43:52 -0700 wombat68 Children that behave destructively or violently need to learn other behavioural strategies to manage their jelousy and anger.  They need to learn that there are alternatives to physical expressions of anger.  That they will be listened to and respected if they express themselves, explain what is making them angry. What is important is perhaps to reexamine your own ways of dealing ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/176/Destructive-and-Cruel-behaviour/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/176/Destructive-and-Cruel-behaviour/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 05:53:25 -0700 wombat68 Little boys of 6 usually display various forms anti-social behaviour including stealing, disobedience, swearing, etc.  It could be useful to consider the behaviour as a form of control.  He is trying to exert control over you.  By taking something from you, he is making himself feel strong and big.  You might want to consider to what extent you involve him ... http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/175/6yr-old-Stealing-antisocial-behaviour/ http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/175/6yr-old-Stealing-antisocial-behaviour/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 05:15:03 -0700