You sound like a smart girl, you have told your mum and you realise your ex is a write off (for the conceivable future anyway).  Yes, having a child with someone does tie you to them for life, however there are many pros and cons like this that you need to consider.  How about asking your mum to help you seek professional advice about your options before making any rash decisions? 

Hey hun, i have sort of been where you are. I really feel for you, it is very confusing being in a situation where you face the rest of your life being different no matter which decision you make.

A few year back i had a termination. I knew that there was no way that i could look after a baby. I wasn't emotionally ready, i wasn't financially ready and i was definately not physically ready. I wrote out pros and cons list, i didnt sleep well, i changed my mind about 50 times a day. My every waking moment was consumed by the thought that i could be a mummy and then the fact that being a mummy would (this will sound selfish) ruin my life.

I ended up deciding to terminate because i was selfish. I wanted my life. I loved my life and i wasnt ready to bring a child into my life. What i am getting at, is that if you arent ready to be a parent - and adoption isn't an option - then you are making the right decision. I always thought that if i had a child then, i would resent him / her because i couldnt do the things i wanted to do.

I went on a couple of years later and had my darling son. He is my light now, and i wouldn't change a thing about him or my life with him. When i fell pregnant with him, there was never a doubt in my mind. He was meant to be with me.

Good luck hun. Whatever you decide to do, it will be the right choice.

Is adoption not an option?? I understand you must be so scared and so confused but you need to think very seriously about this. if you adopted out you are giving your child the best chance you can, he or she can grow up in a home where the parents are unable to have children. I can tell by your blog that you are already upset by this, and im not sure your entirely convinced you want to do this.  I wish you luck, and hope you make the desicion thats best for you. you could talk to a professional, who can halp more than any of us could. xoxox