Re: Advice needed for parent of an acoholic son
Asked by tlnj34

Question:
 

I am a 41 year old mother of an 3 sons. My 18 year old was just recently sent to rehab for alcoholism. I feel like I have a

newborn and do not know how to parent.

Any advice on how to make the transition to him being home?

My Advice:

 

Personally i would say that as a parent of an alcoholic (as in your case) or as a family member of an alcoholic in general, the best thing we can do is be informed, be wary but be supporting too.

Often we pull  the blinds down over our eyes as we want to have hope and we want to give them the trust they demand or the benefit of the doubt, so the 1st thing you have to do is be informed of their habits and symptoms and be informed of alcoholism in general and remember that trust is often broken in a short period of time but takes a very long period of time  to re-build, mending trust is a long process.

Try to be supportive and realise & acknowledge the positive changes they make as a compliment goes a LONG way, help them achieve something (be it a new job or a coursse or even meeting new friends or learning a new skill or hobby) as they need to not only be occupied but feel a sense of personal fulfillment and empowerment and achievement.... Time can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

Pray and keep that hope, sometimes it is all we have, but dont be naive and dont be a push over. Set your house rules and stick to them (just like you would for your other children/sons).

All we can do is try try try, sometimes we fail, but we get back up and try again. Sometimes though, enough is enough.

I live with an alcoholic and the worst thing is that i cant help someone who doesnt want help..... Until then, until the day he says 'im ready' then all im stuck with is the memories of a life i once had with a man i once respected, and walking on egg shells....

Funny how alcohol has damaged so many people in so many ways.

THANKS for sharing your story and experiences and views with us.