Re: help with step children
anonymous

Question:
 

My step children are saying nasty things to my three year old daughter because she lives with their dad and they dont does any body have any suggestions of what i can say to them to

stop this... My Partner is to scared to say anything to them in case it upsets them and they dont want to come and visit us but if our little girl pickes on them it is the end of te world and she is in trouble.

it is so hard i think they should all have the same rules but if i say anything we just end up fighting and then the kids have won

My Advice: I don't know if this will answer your question  but it may help you to find the answer within yourself, wherein you will find the only true advice you will ever know, as not one person can truly know how it feels to be wearing the shoes of another, As far as partnerships go being commited to each other and giving unconditional support to each other gives your kids a sense of security, step kids allways try to play their parents off against each otherit is punishment fr not staying together and breaking apart their security in what they know will not change, the fundamental basis of all their future relationships throughout life is learned sub consciously fr5om the first relationship they are subjected to. We spend much of our time, and emotional energy on our children, worrying over aur ability to parent well and give our kids a well-balanced emotional psyche, to assist them throughout their lifves. A good parent is one who is the best parent they can be and no-one can predetermine or fix what the future of their child may be , the harder you try to steer your child in the "right" direction, the harder they will pull in the opposite direction. My advice is to forget about trying to tell them how and what is best for them, instead show them through actions rather than words. You and your partner should try to focus simply on each other, the way in which you communicate and treat each other is mimicked by your children. When entering into a life partnership with another, both should be willing and able to give of their whole self, for better and worse, backing up your partner no matter what, wether right or wrong, there ought to be no doubt nor hesitation to support their decision, especially in front of your children. It is merely insecurities of where they stand in order of importance, try to make your partner no1 and every othger living soul an equal second priority. Although it may seem harsh, at least they know where they stand and in the long run they,and you will benefit from that knowledge. Besides sooner or later the kids will move out and move on with their own lives, if nothing else is gained from it at least you will still have each other.@!