I kind of understand what you are saying. But i see it from the other side of the fence. My mother died when i was 15 (technically not a child i know, but i was still very young) and my father married a woman who i just didnt like. Over the years, i have been abused by her, pushed away by her, and in turn, that has taken away from time with my Dad. I resented her for that, i will even go so far as to say that i hated her. Dad and his wife have been together 12 years now, and it is only just in the past 2 that me and my stepmum have started getting alone.... The way i see it now, is that we just wasted 10 years, and for what? A pointless fued over nothing. Had i just accepted that my Dad loved her and she accepted that i was my Dads eldest daughter, then alot of this fighting never would have happened.

Baiscally what i am saying, is she loves her Daddy, and so do you. You need to love her for who she is, not whose womb she came from. All children deserve a loving family.

I do agree with Lui and Emmie, you need to get some help. There may be many many reasons why you feel this way towards her, and i would think it has very little to do with that little girl.

if you had a child thats mother does not look after her properly and is dumped with you with know money to feed her and knits crawling all over her head gives them to you and your kids, when you spend all the time she is with you getting rid of them..... i think you need to read it a bit more and understand young mothers coping with step children. both my partner and i have all the time in the world for this child......if you can not understand that having a child to raise that is not your baby, can hurt that much that it does make you angry and if you can not understand that then you need to pshcology just like i did and i am only 23.......

As a step parent myself i really feel for your step daughter. You say she makes youangry because she isnt yours . At the end of the day you entered a relationship knowing there was a child . I treat and love my daughter exactly the same as whati  do my step daughter and to be honest i wouldent be without her now . I think maybe you should get some councelling with you being so angry towards your step daughter as tthis isnt her fault it sounds to me like you have some kind of problem. Does it reallymatter weather you have  given birth to this child and carried it for 9 months ??? Its your partners child and she deserves love not anger . how would you likei t if you were in her shoes ??? All children have feelings and this child must be hurting right now . Sorry but just my thoughts

Your step daughter can't help that you are not her natural mother and she needs just as much love and understanding as your own daughters... Perhaps more at this time in her life when she is no longer the only child.  The anger that you feel isn't healthy, perhaps you should seek counsel about it, as it isn't her fault.  It seems as if you want to do the right thing, maybe you might benefit from checking out some of the other advice postings by people in a similar situation and check the groups listing to see if there's a group for step parents as well.