As a first time father I was terrified of everything when my son was born. What if I hold my son wrong? What if I drop him? What if he falls over? What if he can't see me, when he wakes up. Will he be distraught? What if he won't

eat? (You expert parents can feel free to snigger. I laugh now. I lost like ten kilos when my son was born, through stress alone. How's that for a weight loss plan?)

People tell you that children are really resilient (I use that phrase quite a bit now, myself) but as a first time parent I didn't understand. My little boy was this tiny little thing that looked like he'd break if I coughed while holding him. Resilient? Him? Erm, no. I think not.

I was, gladly, proven wrong. I lost a lot of weight, a lot of hair and a lot of sleep but I was proven wrong in the end, for which I'm grateful. I doubt that anyone who's in the place I was in, right now, would read this and suddenly go 'Oh, it's OK! Woo!' and suddenly, magically, relax but I thought maybe reading this will give you someone to commiserate with (or laugh at. You can laugh at me. I'm very funny. Ask anyone).

You Can't Break Them By Looking At Them Funny

I know a newborn baby looks so fragile, but they're strangely tough. You still have to be gentle, of course, and you have to support their head and all the other wonderful stuff people tell you to (inadvertantly, I'm sure!) make you terrified that you'll 'do it wrong' but you can go for it and then spend a minute or two adjusting and readjusting how they're resting in your arms until you (and your baby) are comfortable. It'll be OK. Honest. Your baby may have a cry because they're trying to get comfy and you won't magically be that super comfy resting spot they want but they settle right back down once they're comfy. Don't let the fear of your fragile little wonder prevent you from picking them up or touching them or wiggling this bit or that. That kind of physical contact is all important, and nothing makes you realise how very right you've gotten it when your newborn makes that all important first eye contact with you.

They'll Forgive You Almost Anything

You're the most important thing in your baby's life, not just because of all your many, many, manymanymany responsibilities but because your baby's world view is very small to begin with. They don't think about what's in the next room, they focus on the here, the now and the people they see the most often. Crying happens, because crying is the only way a newborn baby can communicate that he or she needs something. If you'd left your baby sleeping in a crib and ducked out to get a drink or something to eat, only to hear baby crying on waking up, be assured that when you come back your baby isn't holding it against you that you weren't there. A baby's love is a basic instinct and it's totally unconditional. Baby may cry and cry and cry because there's something you haven't realised they need (my adventures in burping my newborn son will forever stick in my mind, because every time I was sure he was wind-free and tried to put him down to sleep I always seemed to have missed a bit) but the moment you realise what it is and you fix it that love will be there, and there's nothing more rewarding than more of that lovely eye contact, or at the very least a beautiful, peaceful little sleepy face.

They Train You, Not The Other Way Around

My son, when he got a little older, made it very clear to me that my plans in regards to 'How Things Go<TM>' were not going to fly. I'd read a bunch of books. I had a wall chart that told me when things were supposed to happen, what he'd want to eat (we were bottle feeding him, rather than breastfeeding) and what he'd need. It told me how often he would want milk and how he'd burp when I held him in such a way. Every baby is different and mine wouldn't be burped the 'book way'. In no uncertain terms he advised me that the best way to burp him was through a series of acrobatics that I still don't understand. But it's the only way he'd burp. He also made it clear that he didn't care for the next 'step' of infant formula we used. He'd loved the newborn stuff but, as he got a little older and graduated to the next step up he wasn't having any of that. He wanted the other stuff. We went through three different brands before he found his drink of choice. In short while you'll get to do all the training when they get older, in regards to discipline and potty training and all that wonderful stuff, newborns take firm control at the one time they get to call the shots. It's OK if they're 'not doing it right'. A baby knows what he or she needs and will let you know and before you know it they'll have that angellic, beautiful expression on their face that tells you that you're the best parent ever for getting things just the way they want them. It just doesn't get any better than that.

They're Pretty Invincible

Sooner or later baby takes a fall. Whether it's the first time they realised that if they only stick their foot right there and heave to the left that they can escape from the Alcatraz that is their bouncer or whether they show off their rolling skills (that you totally never knew they had before that exact moment, because neither did they) and they bump into a piece of furniture or somesuch. The crying you hear is baby being afraid of what just happened, for the most part, and often not any large injury. There's nothing anyone can do to prepare you for your baby crashing into something, falling over something or accidentally being knocked into something. Especially the first time. You hear the loud (and it sounds louder than a bomb blast) 'thunk', there's a loud cry and it's all on. There's nothing anyone can do to make it better, either. It's going to happen. A lot. All things being well, of course, it won't happen much as a newborn but once baby starts to crawl (or walk. Because my son is eighteen months old now and he's climbing and he thinks he's the Prince of Persia) all bets are off. No matter how babyproof you think your place is you can't prevent a trip-up or an accidental knock into a wall or a door or something else, as baby is crawling or walking around. But they bounce back (no, not literally. If my son was bouncing that would make me cry) and after a cry and a bit of reassurance they're right as rain. By all means rush your child to hospital if you think there's been a serious injury. Better safe than sorry. Unfortunately though, you have to square with the fact that your child is going to take some knocks. More than one. Lots, even. But, you know, it's a truly proud moment when you realise that, from out of nowhere, your baby has just flipped over for the first time. Or crawled. Don't even get me started on walking. I went off like a fountain, tears everywhere, the first time my son managed to stand by himself, much less walk. I still worry that he'll fall, and he sometimes does, but the plucky little guy gets back up again (sometimes after a little cry) and everything goes back to normal.

They're All Different

There's every chance that your baby, your specific one, is going to prove me a liar and everything that I've just typed will be dead wrong. The most important thing I ever learned in raising my beautiful baby boy thus far is that while everybody tells me how he's going to be or what he's going to do, just like those books I read when I was a panicked father-to-be fretting about getting it all wrong, my son did it all his way. Nobody knows what every child will do, and what every noise they make means, or what they want just by looking at them. All that stuff is a journey of learning that you and your little one will do together, hand in hand. I don't pretend to know it all (I don't even know why my son feels the need to squash fruit into the carpet. If anyone knows, you should write a book. I'd buy it in a heartbeat) but I hope that sharing my experiences with a newborn (and his toddler and walking moments) might give someone a hint, an idea, maybe a little encouragement or just a laugh.

Parenthood. The greatest adventure ever. Especially the first time. It's too cool to waste fretting over things.

Many hugs, much loves.