Re: teenagers
Asked by DEBBIE-69

Question:
 

my last child is now 16 and has one of the worst attitudes i have had to put up with she has to argue about every thing she is asked to do if i ground her

she takesoff for hours if i say to do her chores its an argument shoule i give up or get tuff

My Advice:

Unfortunately you have to get tough never give up,but remember to let the little things go there is no point arguing about insignificant things as an example she might have left the milk out all night just forget it you don't want to be on her case over every thing that happens. When they are taking off for a few hours though you have to stand your ground with them.
 

You have to remember you are their parent not their friend and sometimes this is hard but in certain situations you have to step up to the plate.

It might help to sit down with her and just have a good heart to heart and tell her how you feel, that you are only performing your role as a mother that you love her and are just worring about her safety especially when she just takes off. Let her know it is a two way street that you both have to show respect for one another. If she feels the need to be alone sometimes just explain she doesn't have to run off that you will give her space just let her calm down on her own and this is also an opportunity for you also to go have a bit of time to yourself and calm down,sometimes when you walk away for a while things don't seem so bad and hour later. You have to listen also to what she has to say not just what you want to hear and don't interupt when she is talking or she will think you are never going to listen to what she has to say.

I think this is something most parents go through some times it only lasts a short while other times it is longer it's all about them becoming their own person and making their own decisions but you have to keep the communication lines open or they will not come to you for advice or if they need to confide in someone.

With chores is their something she enjoys doing if she likes to cook maybe she makes a meal 1 day a week or bakes cakes for school lunches as that is still a help to you but not so much a normal boring chore like ironing or folding clothes,also when she does a chore let her know how much you appreciate it that it is a really big help to you no matter how small and it doesn't have to be perfect as you might have different standards on how things are done. Hope this is of some help.