Re: my son thinks "NO" is a fun game
Asked by dominicsmom

Question:
 

how do i stop him from thinking its a game. i dont know why he thinks its a game. and im being told its my fault cos he

doesnt know what "NO" means. im trying to be a great mother for my son.

My Advice:

 

Children are learning all the time, and learning 'no' is just one of those many lessons in life.  When children are learning, they tend to be repetative, hence they may repeat no as a response to you or you have to say no many times over to get the point across.

how do we overcome these learning hurdles in the meanitime:

give your child the opportunity to say 'no' in a fun context.  if he has the opportunity to say no in play, he may be less inclined to say no when he is being told off.  for example, play games that involve questions to your child such as (you)"is this picture of the car blue", (child)"no, its red",  (you) "is this a circle", (child)"no, its square" etc etc.  use picture books to help.  you can also use everyday expamples such as "do we leave rubbish on the floor", "no, we put it in the bin".

These games don't take much effort, will give your child a fun opportunity to say no, and learn other less ons in the process.

When you are telling him "no",  be sure that you mean it.  Never give in and say yes after saying no, otherwise he will never believe you when you say no.  Having said this, pick your battles.  You don't want to be saying "no' to him every 5 minutes, otherwise he will hear it so much that he may glaze over and ignore it.  Tell him no for things that really matter. 

There are also ways of saying "no" without actually saying "no". Varying the way you say "no" also can help.  for example- (child) "can i have a packet of chips". (you)"how about we both have a banana together".  this says 'no' to the packet of chips without saying no.

These tips can also be altered to encourage your child to say "yes", by playing yes games.

Its vital to get your partner involved to.  Consistency between parents and adult role models is the key. 

Its good to tackle these issues early, a great that you have recognised that it may become a problem.  good on you for taking the time to be a great mother to your son!! 

good luck

xx josie