Working as a Child Care Assistant in the past and having four children of my own I have seen children go through Seperation Anxiety and experienced it first hand (My 1yr Old experience's it of late). I have witnessed alot of parents in response to their child when he/she is

screaming down the Day Care Centre because Mum or Dad has left them and the truth is when the parents leave (maybe not so easy the first time) the child would settle down and enjoy their day. Here is a few things I have picked up from observing other parents and ways I have learnt to deal with my own children when he/she suffers Seperation Anxiety.

The Key is you as a parent and what you show your child through your emotions. Children are really sensitive to the emotions and feelings their parents express to them. When you have to leave your child with a Friend, Family member, Kindy or Sitter it can be as hard on you as it is for your child especially if it is for the first time (The first time is when you need to be strongest). to know that you are not leaving them for good). Keep Smiling and LEAVE .

• Make sure your child has been introduced (a couple of times if you can manage it) to the person who will be taken care of them. If it is a Child Care they often let you have a tour of the place before you enroll your child. Whilst you are at the place of care have a play with your child and encourage them to play with their carer. If your child can see you having fun and the carer being friendly with you and him/her they will feel more comfortable.
• Before you are to leave your child let them know that they are going to be going to the friendly place they have visited and that their friendly will play games with them and  will look after him/her whilst Mummy or Daddy go to Work, Shopping, etc. (Make sure you show that you show your child that will be a good thing "emotions"). If your Child uses a toilet or asks for food or drink make sure you let them know that they can ask their carer for these things. (If they don't know that they can ask someone else they will probably cry for their parent when they need assistance).
• Here comes the hard part (BE STRONG, HAPPY THOUGHTS, HAPPY THOUGHTS). When you are dropping off your child to their carers be positive to your child and ensure them that they will have an enjoyable day.  Smile lots, re- introduce your child to their carer or other children around (if any).  Tell your child where you are going and that you will be back soon, you love them and that the carer is going to look after them.
• Give them a big kiss and cuddle (not too dramatic because you want your baby
• It feels really bad to just leave your child if he/she is trying to pull your pants down whilst screaming NO! NO! NO! but it is important that you leave as soon as you can. Reassure yourself that your child will be alright with their trustworthy carer. If you feel more comfortable wait outside for at least five minutes and then hide somewhere so that your child cant see you and have a peek to see if he/she has settled down (chances are they have).
• Jump in the car and have a big cry if you need to, god knows I still cry sometimes when I leave my 6yr Old.

Why just leave? Chances are if you stay and try to calm your child down you are going to also get upset and as previously mentioned your child will pick up on your emotions and will find it even more difficult to calm down and will be even more reluctant for you to go. From past experience if you continue with this routine each time you leave your child it wont be long and they will be wanting you to leave.

You are your childs main teacher and they often mirror you. if you show your child that being away from Mum/Dad and can be a good time and then chances are they will see that and it will help them learn to develope to be strong confident individuals.

• Stay Postive when you pick up your child asking your child questions about their day and mentioning the carers name often will ensure next time will be even eassier. A big cuddle on arrival and a treat always works well too
• Things you might say are :
• "That is a lovely picture you did with Mrs Blog, I bet Mrs blog liked it"
• "Mrs Blog is a nice lady, did you have fun?"
• "Mummy/Daddy is so proud that you were a good girl/boy for Mrs Blog, she really likes you going to her place"
• "Did you play some games with Mrs Blog, maybe you can show Mummy/Daddy how to play them"
• "You will have to tell Aunty Maud what a big girl/boy you were today and how you had fun with Mrs Blog"

CHEERSxx