Re: Struggling with my daughter and mother in laws relationship
anonymous

Question:

Ever since my daughter was born (she is now 3) I've struggled with her in some way or another. Because I was so stressed out when she was a baby, I let

my mother in law take over her whenever we were around her.

I started resenting my mother in law because she just did what she wanted without asking me, and to this day, she still assumes I am fine with anything she wants to do with her.

For example, she assumes my daughter can sleep over without asking me first, she actually tells my daughter she's sleeping over that weekend! I didn't want her sleeping in my mother in laws bed, but she did it anyway. If she is naughty at my mother in laws house she doesn't get told off. She even had the nerve to ask if my daughter could sleep over on xmas eve! I honestly feel like if she could, she would move in with my mother in law. Not a day goes by that she doesn't ask to see her grandma. In regards to mother in law not telling off my daughter, my husband did have a word with her and told her to be firmer cos it effects our daughters behaviour at home as well. But she went behind our backs and told my own mother that she was going to treat our daughter the way she wants to no matter what we say.

I feel like I'm not close to my daughter as I'd like to be, I feel like she'd prefer grandma than me. I have 2 other kids but she's not as obsessed with them as she is with my daughter. Any help would be great.

My Advice:

Mother in laws can be very difficult to deal with at times especially when it comes to grand children.

i know from personal experience.

it doesnt matter howe much your mother in law helped you out when you were stressed it does not give her the right to do what ever she wants with your daughter.

bottom line is she is your daughter and you should deside what she does and does not do not your mother in law.

if she is still doing this sort of stuff after your husband has had words with her.

maybe you should limit how many days a week she see's your daughter or how often she has here over night, until she respects you enough to ask before making plans with you three year old daughter.

similar thing to what i did when i had a similar problem worked for me.

i can assure you your duaghter would not rather live with her or spend all her time there.

she is 3 and of course a 3 year old is going to want to go some where she gets away with every thing and gets every thing she wants.

good luck but i think you should consider limiting her time with your mother in law until she can respect you enough to ask before she makes plans with you child.