Re: Boyfriends Children
Asked by Vampy

Question:
 

My boyfriend of 6 months has 2 children 5 and 1 with his ex wife. She has moved them to Scotland but is letting us have them for New Year. I am 10 weeks pregnant

with my 1st child but my bfs 3rd. Problem is we are having some disagreements. I believe he should tell the other children that im expecting but he thinks they wont understand until baby is here. I however think he should at least try. Another thing we have a disagreement about is xmas. I want to buy the boys a gift but he keeps saying "why should u they are my boys not urs?" We are planning on getting married in the future and making things hurt but he will not let me into this other life with his children. Am i moving too fast and should i back off?

My Advice:

I am in a similar situation as you. However my partners children are alot older, a boy 19 and a girl 14. I recently gave birth to my first child, and we told the other kids straight up. It doesn't matter how old they are, they will understand. It will be more of a shock to them to tell them after the baby is here!? And I think you need to seriously talk to your partner about his opinion of your relationship with his other kids. They are a part of his life...therefore a part of your life....I get along so well with my partners children, they are so much a part of my life. They do not live with us either, but I see them all the time. I think that your partner is silly to think that you can, or should not be a part of his childrens life eg. not buying them a gift for xmas! If you are planning on getting married in the future then there is no way that you are moving too fast...I mean you are going to have a child together! I think you need to talk to your partner about the way you are feeling and let him know that you want to be a part of his childrens life...it is important. Hope I have helped....   :o)