Everyone knows the best milk for a baby is his or her mothers breast milk. Doctors and nurses encourage you to consider this fact during your pregnancy. I mean, who wouldn't want to. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I was ecstatic, but my first decision

was that I was going to breast feed my baby, no matter what. I'm sure most first time mums who breast-fed their babies will agree with me that it was not easy. In fact I found it quit hard. After the first feed I had plisters on my nipples and it only got worse, they poped and they bleed. Every time I went to feed my son, I couldn't help but cringe under the pain, it hurt sooo much, sometimes it even left tears in my eyes... it was that bad. And what made everything worse, was the fact that my baby wasn't getting enough milk. He was a great baby in the hospital, but I knew he wasn't getting enough milk. When he drank, he would drink for an hour at least each time and then no more than an hour later he would start fusing again. I would go through the ruotine with him - change his nappie and than check to see if he was hungry, which he always was. At the time, I was very emotional... I mean I cried for a week over a name (don't ask me why, it just made me really sad) and being in the hospital with my first baby, I was struggling to take everything in. My three days in hospital, were the most wonderful and most horrible days of my life. They were wonderful because I had my baby, I finaly got the baby I had been try for seven long years and I was happy. But they were also horrible because of my struggle with breast feeding and with one of the mid-wives who looked after me... I was breast feeding my baby when she came to check my blood pressure, she had only come to give me some pain killers over an hour and a half ago and I was just putting baby down after a feed. As soon as she saw me, she came and took my baby from me, saying I was over feed him and that I should stop doing it, to only feed him on a scehulde time - every three all so hours. I tried explaining to her, but she wouldn't listen, it was so frustating because my baby only cried more. What I couldn't understand was, she was the only one who said that to me out of all the four different mid-wives who looked after me while I was in hospital. In fact the other three were wonderful, they helped me and encouraged me to feed him. But after the nurse said that, I just didn't know what to do, it made my last day and night in hospital horrible. It upset me to think that maybe I was doing something wrong and it upset me more to know that my baby was hungry and I could really feed him because of the mid-wife and myself for not having enough milk. I didn't think about it at the time, but now when I think back on it, I know I should have said something. I know I should have asked one or all of the other mid-wives who looked after me, but I was too upset and my mind was fully on my baby that I just let her treat me the way she did. It went to the point of me asking the midwife for some formula for my baby because he was just too hungry. It made me feel so incompitant, that I couldn't even do that for my baby, I just wanted to stop trying. To just give him formula and not have to worry about what the mid-wife said and not worry about my breast not having enough milk to feed my baby. But the mid-wife who came to visit me two days after I got home from the hospital encouraged me to continue breast feeding and she stayed for a while to help me with my struggle, she was a great help. By the time my baby turned three weeks old I was feeding him like a pro :D And I havn't regreted it since, I'm glad now that I stuck with it because he grew up full of energy and smiles and even bailes full of luaghter. It was what I had set out to do and I had suceeded in the end... after a every hard struggle, but you know what I mean. Anyway, what I trying to say here is... when you are in a situation like that, in any situation that has upset you or has made you feel unsure... speak up, ask someone, anyone for help. Chances are, you'll find the answer. When you've just had a baby, you have a right to be emotional, you have a right to want to do somethings your own way. My first time in the hospital was not a good experience, but now I know in future, should I be put to feel like that again, I will speak up and say something.