Advice for following advice

It starts as soon you reveal that you are pregnant.  Everyone has an opinion and “helpful” advice on everything from what to eat, how to sleep, what you can and can’t do when pregnant……..

Then when your baby is born, it

continues…feeding, wrapping, holding, sleeping, prams, cots, crying, discipline…….

The problem is, there is so much advice to choose from and it can be very confusing.  Even modern professionals contradict each other when it comes to what is best for your baby.  Then there’s the traditional methods vs the researched methods. What to do? Who to listen to?

Well, I have some tips that may make it easier:

1-     Listen to the advice, it may differ from your own idea of what is right but there may be some helpful hidden tips and ideas there.

2-     You can use your own knowledge and experience to rationalize the advice to help you choose the best practice.  If you can’t see a reasonable explanation for why you should follow the advice, then don’t follow it.  use your instincts and go with your gut feeling.

3-     Does the advice come from someone who is trustworthy, reputable and has experience in such matters, or are they just giving their ‘opinion’.

4-     Predict in your mind, the outcomes and consequences of using the advice.

5-     Know that, even though every action in parenting and pregnancy has a consequence, we all do the best we can with the knowledge we have.

6-     Knowledge is power.  Arm yourself (helpful for no.7)

7-     Plan what you might say in response to bad advice (great for interfering MIL’s). If you hear some advice that is totally against what you feel, just explain that you have a great doctor and you are following his advice and recommendations (even if you are not).

8-     Don’t stress if you have been doing something one way for months or years, and then new recommendations come out saying to do the opposite.  There is always new research coming out to contradict the last piece of research.  You will never keep up- go back to no.2.

9-     If you are sick of listening to it all, find your happy place, smile and nod, say “thankyou, I will keep that in mind”, and then do it your own way anyway.

10- Remember advice is only that- advice, you don’t have to follow it.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do.  None of us want to stuff it up because there is a little persons future at stake. I think there is more than just love involved in raising a child.  As with any job, you need to study to do it well as well as learning from on the job experience.  My parenting is not perfect.  I don’t think any parent can aim for perfection.  We can only do the best we can.