Although I’ve given notice, I am still technically a working mom for the next few weeks. This article has been floating around my head for years—mainly because there has been nothing, NOTHING I’ve found throughout my years of reading everything self-help under the sun that has been remotely
helpful to me or my family. So I decided to implement the following system:
Get Up Early
I know it doesn’t sound fun, but getting up early—before the kids are awake—is the difference between a sane and a stressed out psycho mom. I usually get up between 5 and 5:30. My alarm is set for 5:15 most mornings. If I know I have a big day ahead of me and I need to prepare, I’ll set it for 5, or I’ll set it for 5:30 if I am feeling particularly exhausted.
The children wake between 6 and 7 and I treasure the alone time I have in the morning. I drink coffee, check email and get dressed. I have always refused to do any housework when the children are both asleep. That is me time.
Shower and Pick Out Clothes the Night Before
Many time management books and articles recommend setting out your clothes the night before. I’ve tried that, and for running or workout clothes (i.e.: clothes you can put on in the dark) it works. For work clothes that need to be hung, I prefer to just look at my stash the night before and pick something out mentally. I’ve been disappointed too many times with wrinkled slacks to lay them out—they are safer in the closet. If anything needs to be ironed, I do that the night before also, or I hang the wrinkled items on the back of the bathroom door while I take my evening shower. That usually flattens the wrinkles well enough for me.
I sleep with wet hair even though my grandmother tells me not to. I hate drying my hair. It takes too long, and I start thinking about things I’d rather do. If I go to bed with wet hair, it’s dry in the morning and I can use a straightener or curling iron in the morning if need be.
Make Lunches, Gather Paraphernalia the Night Before
While cleaning the dinner dishes, have children (if able) make lunches. My husband usually throws something together also. Make lunches for small children and prepare bottles if need be. The more often you add this to your nightly routine, the more of a habit it will become, and your mornings will run much more smoothly.
Look over all paperwork that came home from school and sign whatever needs to be signed. Put everything together in the diaper bag or your child’s backpack.
If you have the tendency to forget lunches that are in the fridge (like my husband) attach a note to the front door as a reminder.
Steer Clear from Time Wasters
The TV sucks away time in our house. If we have the TV on after dinner, we become enthralled with reruns of Seinfeld and Friends and forget to do what needs to be done. When we remember our time-wasting tendencies and leave the TV off until after the kitchen is clean and the kids have bathed we get a lot more done and my husband and I find that the kids aren’t as stimulated and we aren’t as cranky.
We also remember to pick up the house before going to bed, which really saves the morning stress and panic.
I have a problem with the computer. I need to remember to turn it off and walk away or I won’t get anything done, both in the morning and in the evening.
Prioritize
My absolute all-time favorite time management book is
10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management by Hyrum Smith. I’ve read it twice and listened to it on CD while I was working.
Anyhow—what I enjoyed about Smith’s approach was that tasks on your To Do List needed to reflect
your purpose. If you regularly list items on your To Do List or take action (without following a To Do List, which is fine) without reflecting on
your purpose you are wasting your time.
That’s kind of heavy. Let’s let that sink in for a minute.
Let’s say you have “cleaning the garage” on your To Do List. It’s been on there for months because it doesn’t seem like a fun way to spend your Saturday. So how does cleaning the garage fit into your purpose?
Maybe your purpose is to spend more time with your family. Then make cleaning the garage a family affair. Turn the radio up really loud and dance and sing while cleaning.
Maybe your purpose is to make money. Find things in the garage to sell at a garage sale or on Ebay.
Maybe your primary purpose is to help people. Donate unneeded items found in your clean out to charity or to a family in need.
Is your primary purpose to lead a peaceful, pleasant and harmonious life? Cleaning out clutter and chaos and reclaiming space for play or for your car would definitely be in alignment with your purpose.
Most people have some combination of all of these ideas in their purpose. The challenge lies in remembering your purpose while finishing your tasks. Treat completing mundane tasks as an opportunity to exercise self-discipline and as a way to achieve your purpose.
Plan Meals
There are few things as deflating as coming home at the end of a long workday to hungry kids and an empty fridge and pantry. Keep this scenario out of your home by planning meals in advance. Our family has a meeting about every two weeks to plan meals and create a shopping list. We try to follow the following frame:
Monday: chicken
Tuesday: pasta
Wednesday: leftovers
Thursday: beef something or other
Friday: pizza
Saturday: BBQ
Sunday: dinner with family, or leftovers
I find that planning for leftovers helps with waste and the “mystery packages” that accumulate in the back of the fridge. To ease the morning confusion, the girls and I have come up with the following breakfast menu:
Monday: yogurt and dry cereal
Tuesday: cheese toast (cheddar melted on toast)
Wednesday: PB&J circle sandwiches
Thursday: bagel or toast with cream cheese
Friday: frozen waffle
Saturday: eggs (my husband cooks these—I’m egg challenged)
Sunday: pancakes or out for bagels and cream cheese
The kids and I scrounge for lunch when we are home. Lunch is provided at school for them right now. My husband either packs a lunch the night before, or has a loaf of bread and peanut butter and jelly in the work fridge. He is taken out to lunch on Friday.
Keep Up With Chores
I don’t clean much. My friends don’t believe me, but I never spend a day cleaning, yet our house is pretty much always ready for company. I do a few things every day and the kids are VERY good at picking up after themselves. It was work to get them to tidy up initially, but now at 4 ½ and 20 months, they are quite helpful. They clear the table, empty the dishwasher, put toys away, and put their laundry away. The baby is very aware of where things are “supposed” to go and lets the whole house know. Loudly.
I try and do a load of laundry every day—even if I don’t have a full load. I fold and put it away also. I hate to fold laundry and would much rather do a bit a day then fold 7 baskets of clothes on a weekend day.
I wipe each bathroom down quickly with a Clorox wipe and use a dirty shirt to get the water off the floor after baths and dust the fixtures.
I clean less when I work then when I stay home, because the house just doesn’t get as dirty when no one is in it all day long. The house gets much more grimy when we stay home.
Multi-task at Work
If you find you have time on your lunch break to do household tasks like paying the bills, scheduling appointments and filling out school forms—do it. There was a study released this past week that said that
multi-tasking could make you less smart. This study must was definitely performed by some man, because women have been multi-tasking since the beginning of time. It would go against our nature to not do it. Idiots.
Anyway, use time wisely. I try and find a way to squeeze exercise into my workday also. I have been known to:
-do standing leg lifts while on the phone
-go up and down on tippy toes while I wait for the Xerox machine to warm up
-squat or do reverse lunges when I pick something up off the floor
-run around the playground
-dance crazily
Maybe the last two aren’t as easy for you to do at work—but see what you can do. When I was in an office pre-kids I went for a walk everyday for my lunch hour. See what you can squeeze in. Do kegels while on the phone, do 5 push-ups every hour. Do sitting crunches at your desk while reading the mail. Every bit counts, and you won’t need to do it when you get home and your kids want attention.
Limit Homework
Try your hardest to focus on your family when you are home. If you have a deadline, stay a bit later at work or get up earlier to get your work done in the morning. Show your children that they are your number one priority.
Plan for Wiggle Room
Things happen. Life happens. Plan for more time than you ever really need. The latest I get up in the morning is 5:30 and we don’t need to leave the house until 8:30. I have learned the hard way that the baby will decide to have an explosive poop right when you are on your way out the door and you know you are going to already be late because you need to stop for gas.
Plan for the unexpected.
This morning, I was up, dressed and had prepared a roast for the crockpot by 7:05. At 7:15 the house smelled funny. After some investigation, I realized the crockpot was emitting an electrical smell.
Thing 2 and I woke up Thing 1, we got her dressed and we loaded into the car. We did a Burger King drive-through where we were introduced to French Toast Sticks (gross) and Hashbrown Nuggets (even grosser) and were in and out of Target by 8:15. The roast was transferred to the new pot and we were at work at 8:40 for a 9:00 start. Without stress. It was all good, and the kids were happy to have an adventure.
Keep a Sense of Humor
It’s hard to feel cranky and overwhelmed if you take the time to stop and take pleasure in your day-to-day activities. Laugh. Laugh hard and much too loud.
More reading:
The Game of Life as a Mother
How to Be Blissfully Happy
Getting Everything You Want Subconciously
Rediscovering Your Dream
The Importance of Dreaming Big
Goal Setting 101
Coming soon:
Time Management for Stay-at-Home-Moms
(August 2006) (
