I was reminded today how important it is to be a survivor of abuse and how important it is to heal.

Healing from abuse to yourself is one of the loneliest, longest and hardest roads to follow.  First you need to heal for yourself to help you in your

daily life.  Once that part of the healing is done you then have to heal so that you can have a proper fulfilling relationship with your spouse or partner.

It is often easy to blame the partner for everything because he is male (in my case) and it was a male who abused me and all the bad that came with my life.

Your partner needs to be supportive but he can never understand what you are going through when you are in a healling process and nor would you want him too.  It would make him as sick as the person who abused you.

Logic is the key to healing not emotions and that I have found is the hardest ever to overcome.

Teaching children to be careful without over protecting and over dramatizing the reasons are even more difficult for parents who have survived sexual abuse when growing up.  I found that I was over protective and willing to let the boys get away with more because of my childhood than some parents who had a somewhat normal upbringing.

Parents of abused children have even more to heal from if that parent believes and stands up for their child which was rare in my day but hopefully is not today. 

We know so much more today and so do our children that we as parents should be able to hear what our child is trying to tell us and take action if needed.

Support networks like Minti, family, friends and crisis lines are the only way to get you through the bad days.  I recommend councilling if you can especially if you find a councilor who you can relate to in some way.

Books on healing, surviving, self help are all available to us and can be recommended based on your current needs by any qualified support team member.

DO NOT THINK SUICIDE IS THE ANSWER.

Suicide just makes your support team wonder were they have failed you and is permanent which means you are just creating more people who will need councilling to survive a trama that they do not understand.

Make healing a part of your daily life and know that you are not alone.