Now that the New Year has started, some great things are coming my way. So I'm hoping my story will lift the spirits of someone out there!

I have always been a quiet, withdrawn person and suffered with low self esteem and self worth, probably taking after my Mother. 

In recent years, due to some not-so-pleasant happenings, I have become somewhat stonger emotionally. I don't just sit back and take the c**p from anyone anymore. I don't run away to avoid conflict, I stand up and fight for my rights, or those of my children. I don't just wait for things to come to me anymore, I go after them and keep going until I get the results I want.

I AM A NEW WOMAN!! 

I joined a Health Club and proud of myself I am! I had never wanted to do it before for fear of what others thought of me (I'm pretty much an XL lady ... er, woman!). But not anymore! I want to improve myself and my health, give this dreaded diabetes the flick so I can watch my kids grow up. I now realise that I have just as much right to walk into that club as anyone else, without caring what they think of me. The lady who showed me thru the still developing club made me feel very welcome, which is what brought me to this conclusion. Times have changed, she was in no way judgmental because of my size. I left feeling empowered, knowing that it was okay I joined.

As of just a few days ago, my marriage has failed. I don't want pity, I feel relieved. My husband is an alcoholic, and although he has almost reached 6 years sobriety, the constant pain from his back injury just fuels the aggravation that he has not lost since he stopped drinking. We have been married for just over 4 years, together 5.5 years, but met over 8.5 years ago. That's how long my kids and I have suffered with his daily emotional abuse. After many of my talks with him over the years about his anger, and many of my own meltdowns to try to get the message thru, I have finally got him to admit that he does have a lot of problems. That he is the reason for the tension in this house. After a final serious talk that allowed me to explain everything, he now realises that the way this house is run is NOT normal and it's not right that these children should suffer. Children deserve the right to be raised with dignity and happiness. He also realises that I have not been happy for a very long time. I have been utterly miserable. I have asked that he leave this family voluntarily, move back down to his Mother's house and get the professional help that he so desperately needs. Only when he can prove that he is getting help and getting better, then I will consider having him back in this house. He will visit us on a regular basis, but only a weekend every fortnight or so.

Some may ask why I married him in the first place. Well, I really don't know to be honest. Maybe I could see just a bit of good in him? It's hoped that that bit of good in him will get bigger. For his sake as well as ours. He hasn't left yet, but I am already feeling better for knowing that I have made him see reason and the kids and I will now have a long-awaited break from the daily grind. We are going to get our lives back! I will help them rebuild their emotions and help them feel the happiness that they so crave, because I know they are not beyond my help. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Like many, I have had to work damn hard to start seeing that light because I've seen nothing but darkness for a very long time.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I sat here and ummed and ahhed about doing this for so long today. I feel better for having been able to get it "out there".  Lord knows, if I can pluck up the courage to do what I have done, anyone can! I've come a long way.

Caite xoxo