G'day Minties!  Happy New Year!

I've just been reflecting on how often I can still fall into the trap of "one size fits all" with my 3 daughters, either subtly, or sometimes (cringe!!) the very obvious "your sister does this or that without whinging! Why can't you?"

or a whole plethora of similar statements...  so I thought I'd write some advice to myself! If anyone else wants to listen in to the conversation, you're welcome!

My children are not little clones of me. ( I know that I know that. I know that my wife knows that. I know that you know that, too! But we all need reminding some times!) They are also not little cookie cutter versions of one another. Parenting more than one child is a tight-rope balancing act in the "Fairness" Circus... we all have an inbuilt meter that registers treatment relative to those around us. Our kids so need us to be consistent in our values, our boundaries (and consequences of breaching those) and our affection towards them. At the same time, they are all different ages (unless your blessed with a multiple birth, which thankfully my wife and I were not!), different stages of development... and, to top it all off, often V.E.R.Y. different personalities! What scratches one child's back might rub another up the wrong way completely! A gift might say it all to one, and be meaningless to another. One needs more freedom, another thrives on the security of clearly defined boundaries. One hears the rules once and only needs reminding on very odd occasions, another pushes the boundaries many times a day, just to check if they're still there!

So I am reminding myself that I need to find time (moments work for one child, possibly a couple of hours will register with another!) of "me-and-you" time with each of my girls separately-- things we do together, whether treats, chores, or just "hangin'" in the midst of daily activities, driving or walking with me to pick up a sister from some activity, or buy a grocery item or two; jokes or serious discussions or conversations or stories that are just ours, nobody else's (unless you choose to share it!).

I grew up knowing without a doubt that I was loved, but also feeling often misunderstood (probably a bit hard to avoid that one altogether!)... and I want to do all I can to help my kids know that who they are is more than OK, that being the best they can be is where to aim (not trying to be, or even compare themselves with, someone else!) and that their dad knows and loves them as individuals, not just as "the children".

Time to go and spend a moment with my youngest, just because!