Re: 2nd baby?
Asked by inquisitive-creatures

Question:
 

My hubby and I are planning to start trying for a baby in March after our son turns 2 in February. The problem is I am really scared. 1. About morning sickness and how 

to cope with it while looking after a toddler 2. Being tired all the time with a toddler 3. The labour second time around and lastly 4. How I will cope with a newborn and a toddler!! I am after personal experiences, suggestions and advice that anyone can throw my way!! Were all you Mintiers as scared going for baby number 2?

My Advice:

 

I know how you feel :-).  Although my son is now nearly 11 and my daughter is 9...I can still remember the feelings of anxiety when I was pregnant with my daughter.  There is about 18 months between my children.  I found that I was a lot sicker with my daughter's pregnancy than with my son.  Also my husband worked very long hours leaving the house at 6:30am and not returning sometimes until after 7:30pm which meant that I was on my own every day.  With regards to morning sickness, there is not much you can do as it is so unpredictable.  The same really goes for tiredness, although you always find the energy somehow to deal with your toddler.  I found that my son was in a fairly good routine and when I would put him down for a nap - I would also put a sign on my front door to the effect of "Please do not knock or ring the door bell - mother and baby sleeping".  This worked for most people with the exception of pesky door-to-door salesmen who once they woke up a very tired pregnant woman and her toddler - let's just say they didn't come back for a while...:-).

With your question about labour, that was the one part that I was not terribly worried about...if anything I kept saying to the nurses/doctors that I felt that it was not as bad as the first.  Be aware though that your after birth contractions will take a lot longer to go away - especially if you decide to breast feed. 

Once my daughter was born though, I found my son (although only 18 mths old) was very good at helping.  I chose to breast feed my daughter and knew that there would be some jealous tendancies displayed by my son during this time - after all he had been the only one for a while, even though while I was pregnant we talked about the baby coming constantly.   However when it was time to feed my daughter, I had a box of "special" toys that only came out during feeding times and he played with them then.  Once I had finished feeding my daughter - the toys were put away in the box until the next feed time.  I found this worked as he was kept busy with toys that were not "every day" and he looked forward to that time. 

I have also found over time that my children have grown up extremely close and have been mistaken for twins on more than one occassion.  We live in a rural area of Victoria so therefore it is difficult for them to have after school friends come and play.  I believe that this has made them best friends as well as brother and sister.    Even though the first couple of years was tough - I look back on them now and think that we did OK.  The most strenuous piece of advice I can give with relation to having two children close together, is that you need to use your instincts and not let other people - however well intentioned - get involved with your day to day routine.  If you have chosen to do something for that day/week then do it...you are their mother and you have the instinct about what is right and good for your own children...and yourself.   Be happy, don't let the little things get in the way...and most of all - don't worry about how the house looks - it will only stress you out if you try and be Super Mum.  Best wishes and hope this helps xx