I at all do not know what to advise to you. I Think you should make itself the correct decision.
You should think and do how your soul wants it... I Think this correct decision....

 Fantastic post....As a survivor of childhood abuse children are often to scared to talk for fear of not being believed. My thoughts are if you suspect a child of being abused and don't say anything then you are just as bad as the abuser.If somebody suspected my child of being abused i would be thanking the person for reporting the suspician and looking out for my child.

I agree with everything you said my son was the victim of sexual abuse and was at first to scared to speak up but he did in the end and we were able to do something about it, we might not have got the result we wanted but we are so proud of him for having the courage to say what he said especially when it came to going to court it cost me my friendship with my best mate but I wouldn't have it any other way. you can replace your friends but not your children.

it is embaressing when people think yoou are abusing your child..all kids have accidents..

hi just a note to say i agree with this no matter what the consequences. i am now an outcast in my family because i spoke up about one of the members of it but i would do it again, i would rather have doubts about what i have done than to have a child ruined for life because i didnt want people to think i was causing trouble.

very good story and very informative great work

it is very difficult too report too the local authorities unless you use the correct word.i have repeatedly rung the o800 help line to report the abuse and neglect of my grandson (7) and they continually put me through to a social worker who is not the lest bit interested in what i have too say.I GET TOLD TOO GO THROUGH THE CORRECT CHANEL WHICH IS RING THE 0800 HELP LINE only to go through the same process all over again.i was very lucky a very nice social worker explained the ''NEW PROCEDURE''.all it is one word that you must use or nothing will happen in regards to any complaining one might have.the word being ''NOTIFICATION''.if you do not say that word then nothing will happen with your complaint.how ridiculous is that when no phamlets have been put out too the effect of any changes in words to be used. that really show's how disfunctional the department of C.F.Y.P.S. is .yet when a child is 'MURDERED' in their care  it is swept under the carpet.maybe my little grandson will become another statistic then i will yet again bury another grandchild .i had a great neice murdered by ''mum's new boyfriend'' and that could have been prevented. we really need to stand up too this dysfunctional system, there are too many foreigners in the office who know absolutely nothing about child BEARING OR REARING.i speak from experience about that. i am more than happy too get toghter too help keep our babies safe from the clenches of the dysfunctional dept of c.y.p.f.s. especially the LOWER HUTT office.

I too wish people would speak up as I personally have often sat at home waiting for a knock on the door from the authorities that never came! My child has a servere complex pschyriatric disorder that involes physical restraint [and threating abuse aimed at me]. These outbursts scare me she has knocked me out and given me stitches! Yet neighbours and bystanders who dont know us just let it ride After the events I got angry and now I am even more worried that society 'dosen't' care as I wonder what if she does something one day that harms me badly and I cant seek help??? I get upset by the way I have to handle these outbursts but I dont have an option and I wonder why people don't want to speak up. I wouldn't have got 'mad' that I had been reported I would have been glad cause then both of us might've got the support and help we need.

As many of you know, I am a social worker.

I was just at a training where we were learning about child development. We spent 1/6 of our time dealing with the topic of hyperactive kids. the Child Psychologist doing the training is an expert on child development and the effects of child abuse on development. She is also knowledgable on hyperactivity.

It was explained like this- ADHD is a neuro-biological condition. It means that the brain does not produce enough neurotransmitters, and so the medication is given to increase the brains production of neurotransmitters. about 3-5% of children have this condition, at most. Yet, over 50% of children in care have the same symptoms. So, What's up, we asked. She explained that it is not that most kids with ADHD end up in care. It is that There are two other conditions we see alot of that have the same symptoms of hyper behaviour, that are not the neurobiological condition of ADHD. They are FASD, which is a form of brain damage that can cause hyperactivity (which is NOT adhd), and child abuse and neglect. When a child experiences abuse and neglect, hyperactivity is a common symptorm. And for both of these two groups, which make up almost all children in care, the medication for ADHD does not work.

So, we are learning more... all new workers have to attend this training when i start. And they are sending old folks like me back to it again. As a result of this training, at least here in my neck of the woods, how we do our work is changing. We are responcibible to ensure that the right process is followed to get a diagnosis, and are part of the system which makes sure that the right diagnosis is received. So, we learn, we grow and change from our mistakes, and we do better next time. And we sincerely appologise for the consequences of our mistakes.

I Am's child.

Excellent advice!  These children are our future. We need to look after them and teach them well.

there are a lot of kids who are so hypo because of their diets, yet the medical and social work people call it A D H D or something crazy just to fill kids with drugs.from experience my late son was suppossedly diagnosed withh adhd.i never gave him the prscribed drugs for very long as they were making him like a zombie.i gave it 2 weeks to get the drugs out of his system then i changed his food intake and watched him very carefully.without the drugs he became a more loving child wanting cuddles and kisses.he was very gentle towards his brothers and only sister.i was told by cypfs to put him back on the drugs.over my dead body would i be dictated too by that office.my son was 6 at the time and was very aggressive at school and a bully to other kids.he was a great deal taller than the others in his class and he had a very large bone structure.because of previous behaviour cypfs became invovled through the schools concerns, that was okay but to be told what to do with medication that they know nothing about is beyond their barrier.even our own family doctor agreed with me that a lot of food that children eat are like drugs in their system.between my doctor and myself  my son turned out to be a real gentle giant.  he was murderd 20year ago by white suppremist groups in the south island.so please if your child shows untoward signs of behaviour try the diet change before the medical teams.the worst i found was nutella spread,orange fizz or fanta,twisties and cheezle snacks.i sort help with the philipino shops as a lot of their foods do not have the gross salt contents and most of there biscuits and packaged cake are not very sweet.milo and hot choclate is the worst.well i hope to have been able to help some one's child.my 4year old next door neighbour is a very different boy thanks to his diet change.his mum is happy.

i have been in the same situation my self where by a person who was once a family friend,decided she wanted a daughter of her own, rather than make her own she decided to fabricate a story to a so called church group,her 2 witness's ,1 an alcoholic,who never knows where the next drink will come from and the other suffers from the early stages of alzeihmers. the so-called friend was also known as a nympho-maniac of the rugby league team in nae-nae.one man was never enough for her, she played them all and broke a few marriages.she got her witness to write support letters for her to c.y.p.f.s.these 2 witness's know nothing at all about me,yet everything was believed and my daughter lost her 2nd daughter to a nympho.so how can these govt. dept's print matters to state that they keep families together and help them.it seems if you are a nympho or an alkie or even a nut case c.y.p.f.s will listen to you and give you what you want even at the risk of  RIPPING FAMILIES APART.we have not seen that grandchild for 5 years as the nympho claims it is not in the best interest of the child.she wouldn't know nothing.her own 2 son's left n.z. to get away from the taunts at the nae-nae clubrooms.and they will not allow their mother to have their daughters for holidays.one of their daughter's was here staying with one set of the grandparents when nympho went and got her,the childs mother found out and flew from perth to take her away from nympho.so what does that say about the nympho.she has had an island curse put on her and at the moment she is the size of a bus.she cleans people homes for a living which is about all she is good enough at.the lower hutt office of c.y.p.f.s. is full of disfunctional staff who only help place children to be murderd. too many cases speak for themselves.

You know I remember the story you speak about in your leading thread, it broke my heart.

Knowing that the surviving 4 children and their Grandmother had some support has mended it some, I find it sad that so many Australian's feel they can not do anything to stop this sort of thing happening.

As an Australian and a parent I believe it is my right to protect not just my own children but any child I feel is not being cared for in a manor fair or just to their basic needs, I feel as a human being it is my responsibility to care for those that can not care for themselves.

Well done to your daughters teacher for approaching  you and not just assuming.

REAT advice really gives out a strog message

Thanx for shari xx

i agee with all that your saying ,when it comes to kids yeah i would rather be safe than sorry. There is an old saying something on the lines   it takes a village to raise a child  not exactly those words but to me it refers we as a society should look after the little ones    Good story

My middle girl is very accident prone, she is an action junky with little reguard for her safety and how much something is going to hurt. she broke her collar bone before the age of 2 among other things.... I completly agree with you that people should be more involved in the heath and well being of children. I often wonder if anyone will ever approach me about her injuries but no one ever has..... I think it is very lucky for her that her injuries are from having a wild fun time rather than the ulternative...

yeah for sure. You definitely should speak up, else how could u live with yourself if something happened. These poor children are the victims and if people keep on turning the other cheek then nothing gets better for them.

Absolutely, if in doubt, check it out... It irks me so much when they gather up a rangey bunch of neighbours on tv to give statements about how they thought that the parents of a child just found dead were abusive, or they could see the child was starving, or never came out of the house etc etc... They should be charged for being ignorant and negligent themselves, if they felt that way, why didn't they take action?

Thanks for writing this. You're expereince speaks like nothing else could!

great info and story..

I do have to agree and I have and my family have been in the situation on where I was confronted by my sons teacher last year about my sons bruises (he bruises easily) and my in laws with their eldest who had factor 7 difisency (it made them check it)

 This is an excellent article but it is a shame such an article has to be written, I would rather know I reported or asked questions about a false alarm....then know a poor little soul was abused or even worse.

Regards Janice

Fantastic Advice and very well written :)