Boys and Guns

What is this thing with boys and guns?

I had my baby later than some of my friends and in my childless years, I made the mistake (once) of giving a cowboy set (complete with faux cow hide vest, plastic rifle and sheriff's badge) to a 4 year old

With tragedies such as the Port Arthur and the Columbine High School massacre, we can't blame parents for being wary of guns and what they represent. We are afraid of how our boys may turn out if they are allowed to play with toy guns from a young age.

When my son turned 4, all he wanted was a gun. He wanted one that shot 'laser beams' and can 'kill all the bad guys' in one blow. As he didn't own a toy gun, he constructed one out of his megablocks. I was very perturbed and disturbed since we don't encourage that sort of role-play at home and I thought that he may have picked up this influence from elsewhere. 

I was right of course, my son and other little boys did role-play at the playground and at kindy. They picked up objects that vaguely resembled guns and they shot at each other, making "phoosh phoosh" sounds for sound effects.

I brought the matter up with my brother one day and he set me straight. He reminded me of how we (our friends and us) used to make belief as well. We had loads of water pistols, play rifles, swords as well as light sabres. We were forever playing games that involved one team being the "bad guys" and the other team being the "good guys". We ran around the house and the garden, ducking behind furniture and pot plants shooting at one another. We all turned out ok. None of us have violent tendencies nor are we psycho killers.  We eventually stopped those games and moved onto board games and movies.

My son is now 6 and he has grown out of his gun-phase and is now into martial arts and ball games. He still plays his gameboy and sometimes playstation and he still shoots at the "bad guys", but aiming with his joystick rather than his building blocks. He understands that the games are all make-belief and are not real. He also understands that only criminals use weapons to hurt people.

The thing with children is that they do have an active imagination.  I feel that it is only right to allow them to let their imagination run wild. As long as they understand that there are boundaries such as no-hitting and no-hurting (other children or animals),  and that it's 'all pretend', I cannot see the real harm in letting them make belief.

From experience, the more that you try to curb the shooting games, the more likely it is that they want to play these games when you're not around. It sometimes becomes more exciting because it is so forbidden. Don't feel bad when the boys want to play such games, just ensure that you draw the line at what is acceptable play (for me, I did not like my son telling his sister things like "I will kill you!") and just relax. You don't have to encourage it, but you don't have to make a big deal out of it either. They should eventually grow out of the "gun phase".