Re: about there dad
Asked by yummymummy1985

Question:

how do u tell your kids about there dad if he isnt involved in their lives?

My Advice:

Even though it may feel like the wrong thing, even if your

kids Dad is never going to be around, they still have the right to know about him.

When my partner and I separated, our son was 6 months old.  I was resentful and wanted him to suffer.  I used to complain and whinge and carry on about him whenever the opportunity arose.  Once my son got a little bit bigger and started asking about his Dad, i couldn't bring myself to be nasty.  It's not the child's fault that his/her parents aren't together.  It's not the child's fault that his Dad doesn't see him.

Depending on the age of the child, tell them the truth.  For a young child, just tell them the simples; like "daddy and mummy don't live together anymore, but we both still love you".

For an older child it can get more stressful for you once they understand a bit more of life and what it entails.  Don't, whatever you do, tell your child that their Dad is horrible, nasty etc etc.  The child will grow up thinking these things of his Father, but it should really be up to the child, when old enough, to make their own decisions about whether or not they like their parents.Could you imagine being told by your mother that your dad was a terrible person and an evil man, only to find him when you are an adult and discover he isn't so bad after all, and your Mum just didn't like him so made it all up?

Of course, there are exceptions to this, as in the case of domestic violence, abuse etc.  For these situations I would not like to comment, as I have no personal experience in them.  But I would imagine telling your child that it is 'safer and better for all of us if we didn't see Daddy' might have the desired effect in the beginning to assuage them of their questions.

Of course, all of this is what I have done, and it is your own personal situation that will dictate which avenue you take with your child/children in explaining to them the absence of their father.

Just remember though, kids remember EVERYTHING, and you want them to know that you always told them the honest truth, even if it was a bit hard to swallow.  They will thankyou for it when they are older.