Re: babies only 11 months apart!
Asked by adela

Question:
 

Im about to have our second child in a month and the first is just 10 months at the moment. We have always wanted the kids to be close, and this is

REALLY close. Is there anyone with a similar situation/experience who can brief me in to what's to come, and give me some pointers about how to manage.

My Advice:

 

My 2nd daughter's son's are 13 months apart. It's a challenge at times, but I don't think she'd change it for all the world. The boys are now 5 and 6 and are the best of friends, for the most part. Not to say there haven't been moments when they've had their poor mother ready to tear her hair out. What one doesn't think of the other one will.

My advice to her is the same as I'm going to pass on to you. It seems to have helped her and I hope it holds true for you as well.

• Stay organized! It really will save your sanity in the long run. One thing both of my daughters have found very useful is to organize out grown clothing by size (and gender, if it applies) and store in labeled plastic totes.

• Keep a routine! Naps, meals, bath times and bed times are important parts of your children's day. If they know what to expect and when to expect it it'll make things easier for you.

• Spend one-on-one time with each child. It's a challenge to do this even when your children are further apart in age and have different schedules, but it's especially difficult when they are born so close together. Even 5 minutes a day of uninterrupted time with each child will make a difference. Special time alone should be scheduled on a regular basis. Taking one child with you to run errands, to grocery shop, or pay bills will make them feel special and give you time alone with them while still accomplishing to keep your routine.

• Pick your battle wisely! If you make a big deal out of the small things it'll take the importance away from the big things. So what if your child goes to school in a green and yellow stripped shirt and purple pants, Children need to learn certain things on their on, in their own time. Natural consequence will take care of many of the small battles, leaving you to deal with the more important issues.

• Take time for yourself! The old adage that if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy is true. Your attitude sets the tone for your entire household. Don't believe me? Pay attention over the next few days. When you're relaxed your children and your significant other will be relaxed. If you're stressed you will see it reflected in your family's actions. Taking care of yourself must come first or you won't be able to take care of the ones you love. Sleep, eat, enjoy activities outside of the family. It'll pay off for all of you.

Don't worry Hon, it will all fall into place. And remember to enjoy. As the mother of a 27 yr. old, a 24 yr. old, and an 11 year old you can trust me when I say, they'll be grown in the blink of an eye.