Re: when do i use corporal punishment
Asked by paularaymond

Question:

at what point does verbal end and corporal punishment begin

My Advice:
 

Never.

There are many good parenting books and courses that teach effective discipline

(Discipline = teaching. Discipline does not = punishment.) But don't wait to be convinced. Make the decision now not to hit your children. One of the many things I came to believe while raising our kids, now 30 and 27, happy and productive, is that corporal punishment is a fallback that you will use unless you make a decision and a commitment not to.

Our kids were never hit. I don't say that with pride, but rather with gratitude that I was exposed to another way of thinking about discipline when my daughter was a (still compliant - which my second child, a son, was not) toddler. I loved her beyond description. I was spanked as a child. I assumed that I would have to hit her "one of these days" (spanking is hitting, no matter how much we try to define it differently); and it broke my heart to think about it. Then one morning, late for work, I saw a psychologist, Dr. John Valusek, on the Donahue TV show, talking about spanking. His catchphrase was "People are not for hitting, and children are people, too." The relief washed over me. I found myself thinking, "Of course! I wouldn't hit anyone else. Why would I even consider hitting this child that I love with everything I am?"

Now I'd like to ask you a question: if you had reason to believe that you could raise your child without hitting him, wouldn't you refrain from hitting him? I hope what I've given you at least makes you question and research it.

a lucky dad