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"The Baby Talk" with your Other Half.... |
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by Jadles  (January 2009) (rank 500+) |
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Re: Want another baby, but husband says no.
anonymous
Question:
I would love to have another baby but hubby says no (have 2 already). Has anyone else been in this situation. How do you get over that desire to have another little
one?
My Advice:
I'm pregnant with my 2nd and straight away my OH said he was getting the snip straight after it was born. At first I was very apprehensive about his decision. His brain went on overdrive!
Children are a big stress for men, they have the primal feeling of having to provide for their family. Adding another child into that makes him feel like he needs to work harder and give more of himself to make things work. This does not mean that he is selfish, he is just very aware of the future sacrifices that he will have to take. Whereas for us women, we see children as a blessing and a beautiful addition. We know of the emotional and physical strain that children put on the family unit. Both men and women see different sides. Neither is more negative than the other, just a different way of thinking. Also remember that your husband may feel that another addition to the family would mean less time for the two of you.
Here are some questions that you should be asking....
- Have you had a serious sit down talk with him about possible future outcomes?
- Do you know why he doesn't want anymore children?
- Have you asked yourself why you would like to have more children?
- Have you thought about how you would be able to divide your time between your husband and 2 other children?
- Are you emotionally, physically and financially ready to have more children?
After sitting down with my OH we have come to the conclusion that we don't know what the future will hold and we shouldn't make any decisions for or against children just yet. We have said that if we do not both absolutely want children in the next 3 years then that will be it. No more children after our new child is 3 years old. That decision was made with a lot of things in mind.
Don't forget that your husband needs to be in the right frame of mind to have this type of discussion. So time it well. Make sure there isn't any distractions and that he isn't already stressed out from home or work life. If he's stressed out he's more likely to stand his ground and disagree with everything you say.
Men... they are quite simple once you understand them. 
I hope that you both can come to a comfortable understanding of each other.
