you know, i recently realised how wrong we as parents an sometimes be. my cousin and his ex have broken up, without knowing that she was 2 months pregnant at the time, she didnt let him know either, until 3 days before she gave birth! yip 3 days. obviously he

didnt help her prepare for the baby, by getting clothes and toys and things together. I know they are not together, but they do share a child and that should be important, as they will have a bond for a lifetime. I'm not saying they should be together, I'm saying that they could still give the child what he needs and deserves, the love of both parents, instead, the father's not allowed to visit the child, because he broke up with her back then. I think that is something very immature to do. That poor baby didnt ask to be brought into this world, but he definitely deserves in in, now that he is there. he is the cutest little angel any mother could wish to have. a few days ago he celebrated his birthday, just a few days before his dad's birthday, but his dad wasnt allowed anywhere near him. yes, the mom felt hurt and betrayed, because things didnt work out between them, but is that enough reason to punish a child and to deprive him of knowing his father. My dad also wanted to play a role in my life, but because of mistakes he made, my mother and grandmother thought that he should be banned from seeing us. In the end, I ended up blaming my dad for not making an effort to see me and that took a few years out of our lives. It is totally another story if the man was a serial killer or doesnt want any part of your child's life, which is not fair either, but if you keep children away because he forgot to give you roses for valentines day or didnt take you out, that's petty. I'm 1 of the lucky ones, who got to build a relationship with my dad again. We became so close, but 3 years ago i lost him to death. some children never get that opportunity to fix that relationship. Parents need to stop using their children as a pawn and try to work together to do right by their kids. even if you need to get professional help to sort out something that'll benefit the children the best, then that is what you need to do. Life is so short, we only come this way once, why not make it a journey with no spitefullness, revenge and try to be civil, your children will thank you one day for not making them lose out on memories.