Considerations for returning to work after having a baby

 

As a working mother of 3 I can tell you that balancing work and family life can be a juggling act.  I choose to work outside the home for several personal reasons and I wish to put

forward the pros and cons of returning to work with a young family to help others to decide what is right for them.

 

Finances

One of the main reasons mums decide to return to work is for the extra income.  Before deciding if this is right for you take in to consideration how much it will COST you to return to work compared to staying home.  There’s childcare costs, petrol/travel costs to get to work, work lunches, parking fees.  On the other hand as a stay at home mum, you may be more inclined to take your child/children to every kindergym/ kindermusic/ swimming lesson etc which will also cost you.  Weigh up your take home income and minus from that all the extra expenses that go along with returning to work to see if it is financially worth you returning to work.  At the end of the day you may only have $20 to show for your efforts.

 

Childcare

What childcare services do you have available to you?  How much will it cost?  Professional childcare can be expensive and the higher your income the less childcare benefit you get back (Australia).  With my 3 kids in childcare one day per week it costs me $135 per week just to be able to go to work for that day.  Some families are blessed with helpful nearby family and friends that love to spend quality time with your children while you work.  I think childcare is great for socialization skills and teaching kids that mum and dad are not the only ones who have the ability to tend to their needs.

 

Preparing baby for childcare

The main issues here are bottle feeding, separation anxiety and settling to sleep.  Have confidence that no matter what routine (or no routine at all) the baby has that the childcare provider you choose will be able to care for your child.  It’s easy to think that as “mum” we are the only ones who know how to care for our child, but the truth is as long a you choose a reputable childcarer/babysitter who has experience with babies/children, then you can trust that your child will not starve or cry all day.  A feed, play, sleep routine is good for babies but does not have to be at set times during the day.  Your baby will adapt to the childcare environment and routine with time.

If your baby has problems with bottle feeding, as mine did, this can be a determining factor of how soon you get back to work.  You may need to experiment with different teat, bottles, cups, formula/breastmilk, who feeds, feeding positions etc before you feel confident enough to leave your baby in someone elses hands for the day.

  All babies will go through a phase of separation anxiety and some are starting care away from mum and dad at this age.  To make leaving you baby easier have a read of some separation anxiety tips and prepare your baby.

  If you can train your baby to settle to sleep with minimal interventions, the transition to childcare may be easier.  Also practicing sleeping in a different environment may be helpful in the lead up to childcare- perhaps visiting friends or family and taking the portacot.  Ask you potential childcare centre if they have prams to settle babies: if your baby sleeps in a pram during outings but has problems sleeping in unfamiliar cots them this could be the way around settling issues (it was for my baby on her first day of childcare).

  Start writing a list of the things your baby likes as you think of them: best way to settle, best way to feed, and staff should be able to accommodate requests.

 

Sick Leave

How much sick leave do you have?  Do you get paid sick leave/carers leave/parenting leave?  You may well need it as kids do get sick.  Normal healthy toddlers will get sick on average every 6 weeks while they are building their immune systems.  Add to that the exposure to childhood illness at childcare.  You may need to take time off to care for a sick child.  Childcare will not accept a sick child and unless you have another family member to stay home with the sick child, you will have to take the day off work.

 

Work Flexibility

Do you have to go back to work full time or is there some part time arrangement you can negotiate.  Can you work during school hours, short shifts or afternoon shifts so that you miss less time with the kids because they should be in bed anyway.

 

Breastfeeding

You can still work and breastfeed.  Tell your boss or supervisor that you are still breastfeeding and negotiate some sort of arrangement.  A lot of workplaces are installing breastfeeding friendly policies.  You need to find an appropriate place to express, extra breaks may be allowed for expressing or breastfeeding if someone brings your baby in to you.  Does your workplace have somewhere to store your expressed milk?  A staff room fridge may be all you need- just make sure no-one tries to use it in their morning coffee.  I recommend a good electric pump.  I take mine in a cooler bag with some empty bottles.  You could also pack a cold freezer pack for traveling with your milk or storage during the day.

 

Less time with you child/children

One of the sacrifices of returning to work is that you will have less time with you kids.  Some mums need this time without their kids to be better mums when they are with their kids.  Some mums spend all their time with their kids and are great and organizing creative things to do every day to keep kids entertained and learning as well as running the household.  There is no right or wrong here.  Stay at home mums are brilliant, working out of home mums are brilliant too- each have their own battles, hurdles and stressors to overcome.  Ask yourself the question- what kind of mum am I? and don’t be ashamed of your honest answer- If you need time to regroup yourself in an adult environment so that you can tolerate your children day to day, then do it.

 

Adult conversation and work satisfaction

If you like your job and it makes you feel worthy you bring that sense of self worth home to your family and it makes you a better parent.  Lets face it, even though we get lots of love from our kids, they never actually turn around and say “I appreciate all your hard work mummy”. Positive feedback is important to your self esteem.   If you are happy and balanced as a person then your children will learn to be too, and respect themselves.  If you have great supports, friends, parents groups/playgroup, hobbies and activities outside of work then this may be all you need to fulfill the adult conversation need in your life.  If you hate your job and are going for all the wrong reasons then you bring home that feeling of negativity which will rub off on your family.  My job makes me appreciate my kids.  I also have a chance to miss them, which is also good for me.

 

Your partner

Before you return to work you may wish to have a discussion with your partner about why you want or don’t want to return to work and the expectations that go along with either decision.  If you go back to work and expect hubby to help more with the housework, then tell him before it becomes an issue.  Lay the expectations on the table about what you will continue to do, what you expect him to do and how you will balance this decision as a couple.  I end up having to do MORE around the home because I am working because like some men, mine can’t care for the kids and do minor housework at the same time (not very good at time management and multi tasking).  Are you prepared to work twice as hard at home to be able to work out of the home as well?  Can your partner cope with the child if you are not there?  As mums we get chucked in the deep end, but some dads need a bit of a warm up and confidence boost before they are left with a baby and the running of the house for a day.

 

How do I do it?

I choose to work because of the intellectual stimulation, adult conversation, positive feedback, the extra cash and because I love my job and get a lot of satisfaction from doing what I do.  Work breaks up my week and allows me to BE THERE and tuned into my kids when I am home.  Having that time for me as an adult gives me more patience and tolerance for my kids and makes me a better mum, even though I am not physically present every minute of the day.  I still breastfeed.  When I am at work I express with my electric pump on my lunch break and the only time my baby has bottles is when I am at work.  I am lucky enough to have a job that is flexible enough for me to negotiate the shifts that work for me and even though when I go back to 5 shifts per fortnight the kids will only be in childcare one day per week because of the weekend work and afternoon shift that I do.

 

I respect both work away from home mums (I wont say ‘working’ mums because all mums are working mums) and stay at home mums- whatever you choose it is difficult to do it well.  Know what sort of mum you are, decide what you need, find the balance and always make some time for yourself.